Want to attempt ctb but don’t want to actually die

[9thousand]

I'm conflicted. I want to scream. I guess if I were to follow through with my fantasies it would just be a pathetic cry for help. I feel like an attention whore. Why?

 

[painoflife]

What are you wanting to do?

 

[Lookingforabus]

Geo Stone's book (you can find it in the stickied thread in this forum) rates various suicide methods on how suitable they are for suicidal gestures, as well as actual suicide... so you could do that, I guess.

Having said that, I don't recommend it. You'll probably end up in a psych ward, which is hellish, doesn't help, and will probably make life more difficult going forward. Not to mention that you could well be injured or in more pain (stomach pumps hurt like hell, and being intubated hurts for weeks, you can easily give yourself serious, permanent nerve damage or loss of motor control from cutting, etc). There's really no 100% safe way to attempt suicide, so you could well end up dead.

There are better, healthier ways to get attention or help or love or whatever you're actually looking for, so I'd recommend figuring out what it is you actually want and pursuing a better method of getting whatever it is.

 

[pole]

I'm conflicted. I want to scream. I guess if I were to follow through with my fantasies it would just be a pathetic cry for help. I feel like an attention whore. Why?

scream, let it out, dont let everything and what you feel inside. a cry for help isn't being an attention whore, dont ever think that.

if you ever need anyone to vent to, im all ears. im sure theres many people on this forum willing to talk to you, let you pour it all out to them. great place to do this, cause theres a bunch of people who vent to others. if your an attention whore, i guess me and others are as well.

 

[Liveandlearnagain]

If you are not 100% certain that you want to die, and never wake up in the morning and put on your shoes again, and never see the blue sky again, and never speak to another human being again, then you need to stay far away from any method of suicide.

You may need another type of serious change in life. Perhaps an entirely new type of job, maybe ending a relationship, moving to a new region or country. A new medication, a new life purpose, a new sexual orientation undiscovered even. A new lease on life. Maybe not. And I didn't say it was easy.

But if you're looking for a better life, suicide is not the answer to that. It ends that forever. Being halfway sure about wanting that is not a game for anyone to engage in.

 

[Donewith_]

You want to talk about it?

 

[MG_39]

Geo Stone's book (you can find it in the stickied thread in this forum) rates various suicide methods on how suitable they are for suicidal gestures, as well as actual suicide... so you could do that, I guess.

Having said that, I don't recommend it. You'll probably end up in a psych ward, which is hellish, doesn't help, and will probably make life more difficult going forward. Not to mention that you could well be injured or in more pain (stomach pumps hurt like hell, and being intubated hurts for weeks, you can easily give yourself serious, permanent nerve damage or loss of motor control from cutting, etc). There's really no 100% safe way to attempt suicide, so you could well end up dead.

There are better, healthier ways to get attention or help or love or whatever you're actually looking for, so I'd recommend figuring out what it is you actually want and pursuing a better method of getting whatever it is.

Now I have no idea where you live (Us I guess, because I hear that psych wards are awful there?) It's not like that in all countries. For example in some European countries you can visit your psych ward and tell them about your situation and that you are thinking about ending your life. And they take care of you. daily talk to psychiatrists, they write "medical referrals" if needed for health problems, you get good food, and people actually taking your problems serious.

 

[Lookingforabus]

Well, saying you're suicidal is a different thing than attempting suicide. The latter gets you involuntary committed, which is awful, no matter how nice the facilities are. (Loss of freedom, constant surveillance, cut off from loved ones, personal entertainment, etc.)

And yes, going to a mental health facility and saying "I'm suicidal" is a better option than attempting suicide for someone who doesn't actually want to commit suicide... I'm just saying that actually attempting suicide is a bad idea for someone who doesn't actually want to die.