Want so bad to cbt with sn but too scared

[Willthishelp?]

I really need to go but tried several times to get myself to cbt with sn but I back out.. 3 times already I prepared myself but don't do it and I have to cbt asap..
I am getting weaker abd weaker 9 months of depression and 3 months in psych ward.. how do I get ready.. I'm just so scared it won't work.. not scared if I knew okay it's 3 hours or so suffering but than I'm out of here but it's so unsure…

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Yeah, that's really a valid concern. I'm sure I'm going to have very much the same feelings/doubts when I execute my method (CO). Are you going to follow Stan's protocol? Do you have everything that's recommended? I think all the methods pretty much have uncertainty built into them, well, except for shotgun blast or something. It's scary stuff thinking about failing at something so serious.

 

[Willthishelp?]

Yeah, that's really a valid concern. I'm sure I'm going to have very much the same feelings/doubts when I execute my method (CO). Are you going to follow Stan's protocol? Do you have everything that's recommended? I think all the methods pretty much have uncertainty built into them, well, except for shotgun blast or something. It's scary stuff thinking about failing at something so serious.

When are you planning it?

When are you planning it?

I have olanzepine and lorazepam

 

[locked*n*loaded]

When are you planning it?

Well, there's a $100,000 question. I hesitate to even put a date on it at this time. I have a few things that I have to do to get my affairs in order before I go. I'm not sure how long they're going to take me to get finished. In all honesty, yesterday would have been OK with me. I could have avoided a whole bunch of BS today, right here on SaSu. Let me just say, it can't come soon enough, as I'm just getting so tired of all of it. It better not be much longer. It's months, not years. that much I know.

 

[Eudaimonic]

Yeah, that's really a valid concern. I'm sure I'm going to have very much the same feelings/doubts when I execute my method (CO). Are you going to follow Stan's protocol? Do you have everything that's recommended? I think all the methods pretty much have uncertainty built into them, well, except for shotgun blast or something. It's scary stuff thinking about failing at something so serious.

Nta, but a shotgun could fail if you aimed wrong. This is part of the reason I hesitate to use one, other than the fact that it's potentially just too violent of a method for me.

 

[Willthishelp?]

Well, there's a $100,000 question. I hesitate to even put a date on it at this time. I have a few things that I have to do to get my affairs in order before I go. I'm not sure how long they're going to take me to get finished. In all honesty, yesterday would have been OK with me. I could have avoided a whole bunch of BS today, right here on SaSu. Let me just say, it can't come soon enough, as I'm just getting so tired of all of it. It better not be much longer. It's months, not years. that much I know.

Did you test the co method as you stated in another thread?

Well, there's a $100,000 question. I hesitate to even put a date on it at this time. I have a few things that I have to do to get my affairs in order before I go. I'm not sure how long they're going to take me to get finished. In all honesty, yesterday would have been OK with me. I could have avoided a whole bunch of BS today, right here on SaSu. Let me just say, it can't come soon enough, as I'm just getting so tired of all of it. It better not be much longer. It's months, not years. that much I know.

Bullshit on Sasu?!

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it so horrible how we cannot just peacefully and easily leave this world in a guaranteed way, it's incredibly cruel how people even have to worry about suicide methods potentially failing. But anyway I hope you eventually find the freedom from this existence you so desperately wish for as I get that it really can be so dreadful feeling trapped here, suffering endlessly.

 

[Willthishelp?]

Thank you you describe it exactly as it is..

 

[Henryk]

since my CO method went down the drain I'm in doubt between SN and partial hanging. SN seems to have many side effects that frighten me and hanging seems to me to be painful. Honestly, I would just like a method that would do CTB peacefully and with the certainty that there will be no failures

 

[Willthishelp?]

since my CO method went down the drain I'm in doubt between SN and partial hanging. SN seems to have many side effects that frighten me and hanging seems to me to be painful. Honestly, I would just like a method that would do CTB peacefully and with the certainty that there will be no failures

Yes exactly…

 

[bluebus]

since my CO method went down the drain I'm in doubt between SN and partial hanging. SN seems to have many side effects that frighten me and hanging seems to me to be painful. Honestly, I would just like a method that would do CTB peacefully and with the certainty that there will be no failures

Have you thought about inert gas? It's quick and painless and reliable if done correctly.
Also cool profile, where is that from?

 

[Henryk]

Have you thought about inert gas? It's quick and painless and reliable if done correctly.
Also cool profile, where is that from?

I've heard about this method but I haven't delved into it, I'll look around here.
My profile picture is of a character from the animation Interface, ironically this is a character cursed with immortality

 

[bluebus]

I've heard about this method but I haven't delved into it, I'll look around here.
My profile picture is of a character from the animation Interface, ironically this is a character cursed with immortality

There's a lot of good info on here about it. It does take quite a bit of setup I'll be honest, but to me a peaceful swift death is worth all the planning.
I watched that vid, really interesting thanks for sharing!

 

[John Ryder]

My profile picture is of a character from the animation Interface, ironically this is a character cursed with immortality

How have I not heard of this? I will definitely have to check this out before fucking killing myself

 

[Meditation guide]

since my CO method went down the drain I'm in doubt between SN and partial hanging. SN seems to have many side effects that frighten me and hanging seems to me to be painful. Honestly, I would just like a method that would do CTB peacefully and with the certainty that there will be no failures

what went wrong with your CO method if you don't mind sharing that? I hold out for trying that but so far haven't made a plan for it.

 

[Henryk]

what went wrong with your CO method if you don't mind sharing that? I hold out for trying that but so far haven't made a plan for it.

My idea was to use my car's exhaust but unfortunately I learned that this might only work with older cars, probably because of the carburetor. Now I'm studying other methods that are painless and that stay within my plans

 

[Peaceful Departure]

SN seems to have a very high success rate from what I've read, but as @locked*n*loaded said, every method has uncertainty. My largest concerns would be that it's far from instant, it involves fighting the urge to vomit (I personally don't have a strong stomach). I feel a shotgun is the way to go, but living in Canada with a mental health history makes that incredibly difficult. I do wonder if it is just a case of wanting what I can't have. Because while death by firearm feels like the easiest way to go to me, I've never shot a gun in my life.

 

[bluebus]

SN seems to have a very high success rate from what I've read, but as @locked*n*loaded said, every method has uncertainty. My largest concerns would be that it's far from instant, it involves fighting the urge to vomit (I personally don't have a strong stomach). I feel a shotgun is the way to go, but living in Canada with a mental health history makes that incredibly difficult. I do wonder if it is just a case of wanting what I can't have. Because while death by firearm feels like the easiest way to go to me, I've never shot a gun in my life.

I almost went that route. I am in the USA and they'll sell a shotgun no questions asked lol. I know for a fact because I actually bought one. But I returned it as soon as I got it because it was an impulsive buy, and when I started researching the best angle/ location to hit, I realized that my head would blow right off lol. I really didn't want to do that to my parents. This is already terrible enough for them to go through. They don't deserve to have a mutilated daughter on top of everything.

 

[Peaceful Departure]

I almost went that route. I am in the USA and they'll sell a shotgun no questions asked lol. I know for a fact because I actually bought one. But I returned it as soon as I got it because it was an impulsive buy, and when I started researching the best angle/ location to hit, I realized that my head would blow right off lol. I really didn't want to do that to my parents. This is already terrible enough for them to go through. They don't deserve to have a mutilated daughter on top of everything.

Wish we could change countries! My parents abused me, so that's not a concern of mine. Would suck for the first responders, but I think I could get past that knowing they would have no connection to me, and it's part of their job.

 

[bluebus]

Wish we could change countries! My parents abused me, so that's not a concern of mine. Would suck for the first responders, but I think I could get past that knowing they would have no connection to me, and it's part of their job.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I didn't grow up with my dad, but my mom sure did her best to make my life a living hell. I agree, it would suck for the first responders, they don't deserve to see that either, but at the same time, none of us deserve the suffering that led us here in the first place.
Thankfully, there are many other ways to ctb. I really wish you all the best, and I hope you can escape this prison soon. You deserve to be free and in peace. Love,

 

[tpboy]

Yeah, that's really a valid concern. I'm sure I'm going to have very much the same feelings/doubts when I execute my method (CO). Are you going to follow Stan's protocol? Do you have everything that's recommended? I think all the methods pretty much have uncertainty built into them, well, except for shotgun blast or something. It's scary stuff thinking about failing at something so serious.

Did you change your method?

 

[Peaceful Departure]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I didn't grow up with my dad, but my mom sure did her best to make my life a living hell. I agree, it would suck for the first responders, they don't deserve to see that either, but at the same time, none of us deserve the suffering that led us here in the first place.
Thankfully, there are many other ways to ctb. I really wish you all the best, and I hope you can escape this prison soon. You deserve to be free and in peace. Love,

@bluebus I just wanted to say thank you! That's the nicest things anyone has said to me in a very long time (cliche, but true). It definitely shows you can relate, and for that i'm truly sorry. I really appreciate your words!
Is inert gas your preferred method?

 

[Yakamoz]

CTB not CBT

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

I hope today i get mine to be honest

 

[bluebus]

I just wanted to say thank you! That's the nicest things anyone has said to me in a very long time (cliche, but true). It definitely shows you can relate, and for that i'm truly sorry. I really appreciate your words!
Is inert gas your preferred method?

I'm glad I could offer some support :) I'm really sorry for what you are going through. If you ever need to talk I'm here.
I am going with the inert gas method yes. I am going to fall asleep outside under the stars. Peacefully and swiftly