n25mfyu
Captive Doll
- Apr 8, 2023
- 2
you see, I don't have good relationship with my parents. they've abandoned me at the young age; here's the father who's having a "lifetime" with his new family. never once bothered asking how i was, it's laughable that he's still depending on his parents and his parents are the one who's been providing me (just allowance. not the attention. ya. i suck too) and telling me "be happy in life." dude? i had a chronic depression my whole life and my mother's been physically/verbally abusing me to vent her problems when she's still sane (I don't want to be disrespectful, but still infuriates me that she came back to me at the age 15 and does what she does. now that she's experienced stroke and might as well popped a vein inside her head and has amnesiac episodes.) ah. alright, i just vented.
it's just i have chronic depression and i don't know which other mental disorder i has. i am undiagnosed and taking crap at college. I have urges to just disappear. This has been in my mind for years. I have anger issues and possibly BPD or antisocial disorder or smth quite mild or worst? idk anymore.
I don't mind cutting. it became my coping mechanism when I am having intense feelings, i hid scars on my belly and legs where no one sees. I isolated myself for years. coming out to college and getting good grades? i am hyperfocused and my health declined. i usually don't eat or sleep. and is a mute so it affects me critically in social situations.
nvmnd. i just want a quick d3atH. i cannot access drugs, it is extremely illegal in my country. i tried aphyxiation before, but i could pass out for few hours and is not successful. i could overdose myself, idk which one is effective. i tried when i was 13, but it greatly damaged my intestines. aaaaA I'm overthinking I'm sorry — at some point. I don't want to leave something (my game progresses and my other obsessions.) i also became afraid of pain: but I'm a pushover.
it's just i have chronic depression and i don't know which other mental disorder i has. i am undiagnosed and taking crap at college. I have urges to just disappear. This has been in my mind for years. I have anger issues and possibly BPD or antisocial disorder or smth quite mild or worst? idk anymore.
I don't mind cutting. it became my coping mechanism when I am having intense feelings, i hid scars on my belly and legs where no one sees. I isolated myself for years. coming out to college and getting good grades? i am hyperfocused and my health declined. i usually don't eat or sleep. and is a mute so it affects me critically in social situations.
nvmnd. i just want a quick d3atH. i cannot access drugs, it is extremely illegal in my country. i tried aphyxiation before, but i could pass out for few hours and is not successful. i could overdose myself, idk which one is effective. i tried when i was 13, but it greatly damaged my intestines. aaaaA I'm overthinking I'm sorry — at some point. I don't want to leave something (my game progresses and my other obsessions.) i also became afraid of pain: but I'm a pushover.
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