Unattainable666
Enlightened
- Mar 31, 2023
- 1,346
If any of you have been following me you know the shit I have to put up with at work. I walked out today. So I have a couple extra days to get my stuff together for my drive. I'm sorry if I am rambling, just need to get it off my chest. My mother was a narc - I constantly heard my entire childhood how worthless, stupid, ugly and fat I am. Oh and let's not leave out the part where she let me know no one would ever want me or love me. That might give you a little background on why I'm so fucked up. I know I'm older and I should have gotten over it, but I never did. I've lived with her voice in my head my entire life. Hell, if that's what your mother thinks about you then it must be true. So this job - the lead attorney has a 30 something girl working for him - she wears clothes that are way too small for her and prances around the office. He continuously brings her drinks, food, whatever she wants. SHe went down to Mexico without a passport and couldn't get back into the US so what does he do??? He calls the consulate and arranges it so she can come back into the US. Now mind you I am her "back-up" when she is gone and she is always gone. No one has ever said thank you to me for helping them out. But she gets her ass kissed constantly. So here is where my PTSD kicks in. I go into work this morning and she isn't there AGAIN. So of course I start working on her shit. Oh, I forgot to tell you that I've been having a situation with the last landlord where he refuses to return my deposit. Oh I have a deposit, he has it at their office But they refuse to mail it to me. It's $500. That's a lot of money to me. So I asked if one of the attornys could help me with filing a complaint with the court to get the money and I was told no. But that fucking prick can go to the consulate to get that bitch back from mexico. I digress. So, I asked if I could take Monday off to try to do something about my $500 do you know what I'm told - only if all your work is done and you have somebody to be your back-up. We're already short people and now I have to what???? Mind you no one else in the office has to do this - only me. Instead of having another panic attack I got up and left. I honestly can't do this any more. I'm older, the people who love me are gone. My cat is dying. I hate my job, my house, the state I live in, and I hate myself for having such a shitty life. the only bright light is knowing I won't be here much longer. Thank you for listening.
They'll regret it all when you're gone.. 
