Venting Waking up and feeling dread

[l0sing]

I'm over sleeping a lot at the moment, in the mornings im making sure my kids are okay with breakfast and give them their tablets to watch then I just stay in bed. From the minute I wake up I just have a feeling of dread of what the day is going to bring, what new thing am I going to be put through today. The feeling to ctb is getting stronger and stronger but I don't know yet which way would be best for me, I know the day I want to do it on but I'm not set on how yet.

 

[blackwidow]

have you tried seeing the doctor for something to maybe help you?

 

[l0sing]

have you tried seeing the doctor for something to maybe help you?

I recently had my antidepressants upped but at my last appointment I opened up more than I ever have done and she said it sounded like I'm dealing with more than just depression and is considering a referral to psychiatry for bipolar

 

[blackwidow]

Well that has to be a good thing surely..

 

[Hope:-)]

I recently had my antidepressants upped but at my last appointment I opened up more than I ever have done and she said it sounded like I'm dealing with more than just depression and is considering a referral to psychiatry for bipolar

Is she giving you a mood stabiliser also? Antidepressants should not be prescribed to someone who has bipolar without a mood stabiliser so if she suspects that you have bipolar upping antidepressants may not be a good idea. Maybe something to mention. x

 

[l0sing]

Well that has to be a good thing surely..

Half and half, if it is a diagnoses then it opens up better medication and therapy options but then at the moment I'm thinking if it is then it makes me more fucked up

Is she giving you a mood stabiliser also? Antidepressants should not be prescribed to someone who has bipolar without a mood stabiliser so if she suspects that you have bipolar upping antidepressants may not be a good idea. Maybe something to mention. x

Because I've not got an official diagnosis it still has to be treated as depression because a gp can't diagnose bipolar. I've got another follow up in a week so I'll definitely mention it though if there's any other options to try in the meantime x

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that waking up can be so dreadful when you don't want to be here. Existence really is tiring and I understand that it can be hard to carry on living when you suffer so much. I hope that you find relief from what you are going through.

 

[l0sing]

I know that waking up can be so dreadful when you don't want to be here. Existence really is tiring and I understand that it can be hard to carry on living when you suffer so much. I hope that you find relief from what you are going through.

Thank you x

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I understand. I've felt a dread every time I wake up for years. Is the presence of your children not able to help you keep going? I wish you relief and as a parent I hope you can expore more avenues in life that will give you relief.

 

[l0sing]

I understand. I've felt a dread every time I wake up for years. Is the presence of your children not able to help you keep going? I wish you relief and as a parent I hope you can expore more avenues in life that will give you relief.

They're the reason I haven't so far but at the same time more recently all I feel is resentment for being the parent being left to do it all and pick up the pieces while still also having other issues

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I wake up every morning reliving every mistake I've made in life…

 

[LaVieEnRose]

They're the reason I haven't so far but at the same time more recently all I feel is resentment for being the parent being left to do it all and pick up the pieces while still also having other issues

Is the other parent not in the picture or are they just not supportive at all?

 

[l0sing]

I wake up every morning reliving every mistake I've made in life…

That's what it's like, replaying everything, then wondering what's going to hit next

Is the other parent not in the picture or are they just not supportive at all?

They are but they're very emotionally abusive towards me, in the sense of he knows how to play my emotions and knows I'm still in love with him so when he does come to see his child he still does things towards me that give me hope but then is playing other girls etc and telling me we have no future

 

[Hollowman]

Well that has to be a good thing surely..

Well that has to be a good thing surely..

Assuming psychiatrists know what they're doing. In my experience with six of them they definitely don't.

 

[l0sing]

Assuming psychiatrists know what they're doing. In my experience with six of them they definitely don't.

Exactly, they don't fill me with confidence but it's worth a try

 

[Hollowman]

Exactly, they don't fill me with confidence but it's worth a try

Good luck

 

[Infernal]

It takes me the entire day to recover from waking up.

 

[Zegers]

Maybe your best option is recovery, you have a couple children and that is an important factor to stay.

I hope you can get better.

Getting up is like facing an empty day over and over again.

 

[l0sing]

It takes me the entire day to recover from waking up.

Horrible feeling isn't it

Maybe your best option is recovery, you have a couple children and that is an important factor to stay.

I hope you can get better.

Getting up is like facing an empty day over and over again.

They're what have made me stay so far but this time it's such a stronger feeling. Thank you