Waiting

[cantbe]

I have 4 hours before the train comes. I dunno how to psych myself up to do this. Haven't eaten today. Just waiting.

 

[falloutcarter13]

Is trainjumping your choice, or is it just your only option (you feel?) No judgment...I just can't help cringing when I see one of these, but its not for me to judge. Any way you go, whenever you go, I hope you find the peace you seek.

 

[unloved]

Do you want someone to talk to to pass the time? I could call you, or anything else.

 

[cantbe]

Only option. SN will take 5 weeks to come and I don't have any of the of the other meds for it. Don't have pressure gauge for N. Family always at home now but I have no idea how to do full suspension anyway. I feel backed into a corner. And I dunno if I can pull through with train anyway.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I have 4 hours before the train comes. I dunno how to psych myself up to do this. Haven't eaten today. Just waiting.

At first I mistakenly read "4 hours before the bus comes" and assumed you were using the familiar metaphor, and would be taking sn or something.
Then read the post by falloutcarter and realized you said 'train' and are contemplating that method...
Is that really the only option you have left? :(

Edit: just read your post above, sorry. Do you feel that this is something that definitely cannot wait? The other meds for sn are not strictly necessary. Not trying to tell you to do sn or anything, I'm just saying.

 

[cantbe]

Do you want someone to talk to to pass the time? I could call you, or anything else.

Yes someone to chat to might be good. Thanks

 

[unloved]

Yes someone to chat to might be good. Thanks

I don't know how to send DM's but do you want to call on the phone? Or do you just want to chat here?

 

[Morphosis]

My heart goes out to anyone desperate enough to consider ctb by train. I mean obviously everyone about to ctb is prob feeling desperate to some degree, but to choose this particular method.....
A lot of people will argue it's unfair and traumatic to the driver, and I agree. BUT... I also think it takes balls the size of watermelons to actually stand there and face an oncoming train. Ethical issues re: the driver notwithstanding, I have to confess I admire that level of courage as it's not something I possess. I would quite literally sh*t myself at the first sight or sound of that thing chugging along towards me.
Personally I would much rather drift off in a blissful morphine or fentanyl-induced haze, but you did say other methods aren't available to you.
I'm so sorry you're at this point. Sending you a hug for what it's worth