Waiting in A&E

[sunfl0wer]

At the start of the week; I decided to tell my partner and family about my more detailed ideations and pre-planning. This was to safeguard myself. It's now the weekend and I'm here in A&E as a patient in the pending phase of my admission while I wait for a psychotherapist to talk to me in a more comprehensive manner. Been over 8 hours since I've arrived. I'm just trying to pace myself, and I'm posting here in the meantime.

I did a quick intro with a nurse shortly after my arrival. Then an hour later I did a questionnaire with a regular doctor and had a pee/blood sample taken. But now I guess I'm just on standby for the specialist.

I'm in two minds about my current situation. I'm glad I didn't keep it a secret and I'm fortunate I have a support network that want me to get better. But this is the lowest I've ever felt and I'm not sure I can get better…

This waiting is really getting to me now and I feel so anxious about how the rest of my life is going to be. I'm clearly overthinking right now and my mind is just wandering while I try to keep patient.

Has anyone else been where I am? How do you stay motivated?

I've no history of physical harm to myself. But I'm definitely very critical of myself. I'm so disappointed for getting this low without protecting it sooner. I didn't address my mental health with enough care and I've just let it and a few physical issues stagnate over the years. I'm fortunate that I'm in a great position compared to many others, but it's definitely made me take the struggle to survive for granted. Just been playing life on easy mode and not appreciating it. I hope I can learn to appreciate the good and accept the bad sooner rather than later.

Please take care of yourself if you've read to the end of this sentence!

 

[nessun_nome]

There are good days. There are bad days. Today is a bad day for me.

But I have techniques to cope. At this point, just believe that the therapists can help at least some of the people. Try it. You've got nothing to lose.

The therapists will get it more than others around you. They won't patronise you with platitudes.

It sounds as though you have some good things in your life. You can sit and reflect on them. I do mindfulness meditation and take the time to appreciate them.

I'm happy ro talk more if you wish. Let us know tomorrow how you get on.

 

[sunfl0wer]

Thanks. Still waiting to be seen properly. But I can pace myself, been waiting 10 and half hours now. I can keep it together and hopefully explain the situation as best I can to the specialist. I've written a few notes down in my phone as I get a bit flustered when I try to verbalise it in-person.