Waiting for my date

[bessops1976]

I am planning on attempting again using the carbon monoxide (charcoal) method, however, is this strange? I work Monday to Friday, I am planning on attempting on Friday night in case it fails. I can't attempt today despite already acquiring the materials - if it were to fail but incapacitate me for a day or so I won't have to 'call in sick'. Im only 3 weeks into this job but I have decided that, not only is the working life not for me, I don't want to go on. I need to avoid an impulse attempt, I need it to work, but I also need to prepare for failure. How is it so damn hard to self terminate. I tried carbon monoxide once before, it didn't work but this time I have purchased lump charcoal (not the briquettes), good gaffer tape to seal my small downstairs cloakroom / bathroom and this time will be using a chimney starter rather than trays... I need to find the strength to continue for the next two days until I attempt again, however, I feel such a sense of relief I have my exit planned. That uplift in mood that suicidal people apparently experience prior is definitely real. I live alone so no one will notice. I have written a delayed email to alert to my demise so I'm not left decomposing too long....

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

i'm also waiting. i don't have an exact date. i just need it to be nice and cold. have you measured out your space?

 

[bessops1976]

The room is 80cm wide, 153cm long and 225cm tall. I have 4.5kg of lump charcoal and super strong gafffer tape. I plan on taking a zopiclone to induce sleep once the I transfer the coal to the room. I do not have a co meter but I don't think I need to. I think I have more than enough to generate a lethal level.

I am actually really looking forward to my exit. I am not at all fearful of what happens next. Surely we revert to our pre birth state - of nothingness!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I suggest to avoid alcoholics and using a lot of sedatives. There are reports from people who failed using this.

CO is a little bit lighter than air, therefore lying on the floor/ in the bathtub is the worst position to take.

According to your room size in m³ you have more than enough coal.

 

[bessops1976]

I intend on one zopiclone only, a very light sedation. There's no bath in the room, just a toilet and hand wash basin. I will place the coal on a heatproof mat on the floor then I guess I will sit on the toilet (lid down of course) that level should render me unconscious in minutes. I could consider a tent in the garden, but I have overloooking neighbours and I don't want them to see anything and run the risk of being saved

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would feel so relieved at the thought of having a plan to leave this world, I hope that when the time is right for you to leave you find the freedom you search for. It's true though that suicide really is too unnecessarily difficult, it should be much more straightforward to finally be free from this existence.

 

[bessops1976]

I've decided to change my method from a sealed room to a car which I will also seal - I think it's risky in a house as I have an attached property next door and their co detector might alert them to carbon monoxide presence. Bit worried about having burning coals in my car though, so any advice would be helpful