Waiting for my cat to pass - then I go

[Unattainable666]

I woke up this morning wondering how the fuck my life went so wrong. Maybe the day I was born? Maybe when I met the narc who killed my child? I don't know and quite honestly at this point in time it doesn't make any sense to ponder the question. I think I've known for a long time that I would ctb at some point in time - hell I tried when I was a teenager - I'm much older now and nothing in my life has changed. I still cry every day over the death of my child, the rift with my son, the shit life I'm living. I hate my job, have no family, no friends, I wake up every morning wishing I had died in my sleep, but I don't think I'll get that lucky. I have a sweet girl - my little cat - best relationship I've ever had. She loves me unconditionally as I do her. She is 14 years old and I've had her her entire life. We are quite a couple. She is dying - she has liver cancer. I watch her every day slipping away. She is not in any pain, she sees a vet regularly. She doesn't eat anymore so it's not going to be long. SHe is the reason I'm still here. It's painful for me to stay here and watch her die but she deserves my loyalty and love so I'll stay until she goes. Then it will be my turn. I'm sitting here crying my eyes out knowing what a shit show my life has been. But my girl is still living today so I will too. I wish you all peace in this fucked world.

 

[アホペンギン]

It must be awful losing a child, I can't imagine being in such a situation especially if someone killed my child. I'm sorry you had to deal with that and on top of that your cat is dying. I hope the cat spends her last moments in peace and hopefully you'll find relief from all of these struggles you're enduring. Best wishes.

 

[Unattainable666]

It must be awful losing a child, I can't imagine being in such a situation especially if someone killed my child. I'm sorry you had to deal with that and on top of that your cat is dying. I hope the cat spends her last moments in peace and hopefully you'll find relief from all of these struggles you're enduring. Best wishes.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

 

[thebookofdisquiet.]

I am sorry, no one deserves so much suffering.
I bet that your cat had a great life full of care and love, and I'm glad that she is a source of comfort and happiness for you, spend the rest of her time here enjoying her presence and thinking about all the sweet memories you created together!

Wishing you easier days and a peaceful ending.

 

[pole]

I'm sorry about your cat's health. the bond you have with her is beautiful. I hope she crosses the rainbow bridge with ease.

 

[Unattainable666]

I am sorry, no one deserves so much suffering.
I bet that your cat had a great life full of care and love, and I'm glad that she is a source of comfort and happiness for you, spend the rest of her time here enjoying her presence and thinking about all the sweet memories you created together!

Wishing you easier days and a peaceful ending.

Thank you so much for your kind words they are much appreciated and Sweet Pea appreciates them too

I'm sorry about your cat's health. the bond you have with her is beautiful. I hope she crosses the rainbow bridge with ease.

Thank you. It's so ironic people outside this site are so thoughtless and ignorant to my pain. I come here and people are so loving and kind.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's horrible how there is so much suffering in existing but anyway I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[Chronicoverwhelm]

Big, big hugs. I have a 17 year old pup who is in end stages of kidney failure. I've been holding off on CTB until after she passes as well. She has kept me going all these years. I will stay with her until the end.

 

[Unattainable666]

Big, big hugs. I have a 17 year old pup who is in end stages of kidney failure. I've been holding off on CTB until after she passes as well. She has kept me going all these years. I will stay with her until the end.

I'm so sorry to hear about your fur baby. It's so nice to hear from a fellow 4 legged baby. Thank you for sharing.

 

[Chronicoverwhelm]

Thank you

 

[backtoearth]

I cannot even imagine the pain you have experienced, you are so incredibly strong making it this far <3

Reading about your bond with your cat brought a tear to my eye, she must have had so much care and love over those 14 years, I can see in your post how much you love her. It makes my think of my 2 degus that passed last year - I still have their cage and everything because I can't let go of anything, even still have their treats and pellets. I lived for them for 8 years and it is honourable that you will spend this time caring for her even though you are suffering.

I hope she passes peacefully and without pain, and I honestly wish the best for you - I hope you manage to find your peace (whatever that looks like for you) and I am sending so much love your way

 

[toofargone6969]

I am so so sorry.. about your past hurts that led you here and about your cat. I just let my dog go after 16 years together and she also had liver cancer and had stopped eating. It was just excruciating. The pain of losing a long term pet is just horrible. I was also forcing myself to wait until she was gone and now that she is, it doesn't feel real. I hope when I die I can see her again. I'm wishing you strength in this difficult time.

 

[Unattainable666]

I cannot even imagine the pain you have experienced, you are so incredibly strong making it this far <3

Reading about your bond with your cat brought a tear to my eye, she must have had so much care and love over those 14 years, I can see in your post how much you love her. It makes my think of my 2 degus that passed last year - I still have their cage and everything because I can't let go of anything, even still have their treats and pellets. I lived for them for 8 years and it is honourable that you will spend this time caring for her even though you are suffering.

I hope she passes peacefully and without pain, and I honestly wish the best for you - I hope you manage to find your peace (whatever that looks like for you) and I am sending so much love your way

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your two dogs. It's so incredibly painful that most dont get it. The unconditional love of a fur baby passes any human love I've never felt.

I am so so sorry.. about your past hurts that led you here and about your cat. I just let my dog go after 16 years together and she also had liver cancer and had stopped eating. It was just excruciating. The pain of losing a long term pet is just horrible. I was also forcing myself to wait until she was gone and now that she is, it doesn't feel real. I hope when I die I can see her again. I'm wishing you strength in this difficult time.

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your dog. I honestly understand your pain and I believe you will see her again just as I will see my child and my sweet cat.

Big, big hugs. I have a 17 year old pup who is in end stages of kidney failure. I've been holding off on CTB until after she passes as well. She has kept me going all these years. I will stay with her until the end.

I hope you and your sweet pup are doing well. I commend you for having such a wonderful heart for taking care of her. Big hugs

 

[Tulip<3]

I'm so sorry I honestly thinking losing a child is the worst type of grief a person can go through.

And I am sorry about your cat. You sound like such a lovely cat parent, staying by her side even while it's so painful. My cat is one of the reasons I'm here too.

Wishing you and your cat as much peace as possible

 

[Unattainable666]

I'm so sorry I honestly thinking losing a child is the worst type of grief a person can go through.

And I am sorry about your cat. You sound like such a lovely cat parent, staying by her side even while it's so painful. My cat is one of the reasons I'm here too.

Wishing you and your cat as much peace as possible

Thank you Tulip for your kind words.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

i've had thoughts starting several years ago when my pup was alive,i'd look at her and know i wasn't going anywhere.

 

[anxious_depressive]

Hi.

I read your post with a heavy heart.
I am very sorry that you are in such a situation .


And I feel sorry for your cat.
It's good that she visits the vet and she doesn't have any pain.

I 'm sending you a hug .

 

[Unattainable666]

Hi.

I read your post with a heavy heart.
I am very sorry that you are in such a situation .


And I feel sorry for your cat.
It's good that she visits the vet and she doesn't have any pain.

I 'm sending you a hug .

Thank you for your kindness