visualizing it

[sadstuffie]

Anyone else lowkey been obsessed with suicide their whole life? I think I knew it was always gonna happen to me :(.
I've been reading quotes about daughter death & stuff since I would feel really bad for my family. I haven't seen them in a whole year now.

 

[falloutcarter13]

Part of the reason I want to get it over with so badly is because I've known it was going to be the end of me since 11 or 12 years old. I'm tired of visualizing, thinking, and even dreaming about it. Just ready for it all to be over.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I think about it probably most of my time awake. It's one of those thoughts that completely consumes you and takes over, it becomes an obsession.

 

[sadstuffie]

I think about it probably most of my time awake. It's one of those thoughts that completely consumes you and takes over, it becomes an obsession.

yes it is definitely an obsession for me too

Part of the reason I want to get it over with so badly is because I've known it was going to be the end of me since 11 or 12 years old. I'm tired of visualizing, thinking, and even dreaming about it. Just ready for it all to be over.

I can relate to that, I first attempted at 15 & it could have worked , I was ONE pill away (i was on serious meds for a bad bad sickness i had).

 

[Wayfaerer]

I don't know if obsessed is the right word, but I've had frequent suicide ideation since the age of 16, now over a decade ago. I've thought about it a lot, but now that I know what it feels like to be trapped, I wouldn't have thought about it in such a positive light.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i can't say i've been thinking about my whole life (i first started wanting to die at 12), but thinking about even attempting brings me some comfort, because one day it'll all be over. i'll definitely feel bad about being a pain in the ass to my family, though, with all the bills and guilt they'll have to deal with.

 

[Isadeth]

A majority of my life has been preoccupied by the thought of suicide. But recently it's been more of keeping my impulses under control due to pain. I am trying to stay here a little longer despite my brain saying to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger. That thought is very loud at the moment, and the worst part is that isn't even my method of choice... but every fiber of my being is saying it would feel absolutely amazing, comparable to slipping into a warm bath.

 

[Nymph]

Anyone else lowkey been obsessed with suicide their whole life? I think I knew it was always gonna happen to me :(.
I've been reading quotes about daughter death & stuff since I would feel really bad for my family. I haven't seen them in a whole year now.

Yeah, since I was a kid I was passively suicidal (I found out this wording just recently, didn't know what it was called) I was tempted by yew trees and when I went to a forest often looked for poisonous mushrooms or the black little berries that are poisonous (idk their English name) I guess I always knew it was going to end with ctb. When my mom gets mad at me she even brings that up, that I'm going to ctb because of how horrible I am.

 

[AprilsBlessings]

My childhood was miserable so i've always wanted to end my life, since i was 8 or 9.