This technically should be in some autism forum, but this is the only place I really feel safe without feeling like I have to sensor my feelings.
I have autism and, in everyone else's perspective, I just threw an adult tantrum and stormed off to my room. And now I want to die.
My biggest pet-peeve is cheating, and I'm known for getting really upset when others cheat in a game with me (even as my partner or in ways that benefit me).
Today, one of my family members cheated in a game with me and I was already almost at my social limit playing a game that requires communication and everyone's involvement (like charades).
When they cheated, I tried to argue that their points should be taken away for that card (literally like 2 or 3 points out of the collective 200 points between two teams) and everyone started (loudly) arguing at me all at once (at least 3 people arguing at once) and I was pushed way over the limit and instantly way too overstimulated to function.
No one was yelling (including me) but it still freaked me out, and after about 40 seconds of trying to argue back and then continue the game, I had to get out of there, so I threw my cards down and rushed into the guest room I'm staying in, closing and locking the door behind me.
I'm still in here (it's been about 15 minutes) and I want to die a) because I'm overstimulated and on the verge of a meltdown and b) because they're all thinking of me as immature and childish (I'm college age and still viewed as a kid) and I just hurt my image for all of these extended family members I almost never see.
I'm also very close to hurting myself and I'm really really stressed out.
I didn't plan to leave early just in case my social limit was reached because usually I can announce it with an "I'm tired, I'm going to bed, see y'all in the morning", etc. but this was unexpected and sudden so it caught me off-guard, and now I've proved that I'm an immature child to my extended family.
I have autism and, in everyone else's perspective, I just threw an adult tantrum and stormed off to my room. And now I want to die.
My biggest pet-peeve is cheating, and I'm known for getting really upset when others cheat in a game with me (even as my partner or in ways that benefit me).
Today, one of my family members cheated in a game with me and I was already almost at my social limit playing a game that requires communication and everyone's involvement (like charades).
When they cheated, I tried to argue that their points should be taken away for that card (literally like 2 or 3 points out of the collective 200 points between two teams) and everyone started (loudly) arguing at me all at once (at least 3 people arguing at once) and I was pushed way over the limit and instantly way too overstimulated to function.
No one was yelling (including me) but it still freaked me out, and after about 40 seconds of trying to argue back and then continue the game, I had to get out of there, so I threw my cards down and rushed into the guest room I'm staying in, closing and locking the door behind me.
I'm still in here (it's been about 15 minutes) and I want to die a) because I'm overstimulated and on the verge of a meltdown and b) because they're all thinking of me as immature and childish (I'm college age and still viewed as a kid) and I just hurt my image for all of these extended family members I almost never see.
I'm also very close to hurting myself and I'm really really stressed out.
I didn't plan to leave early just in case my social limit was reached because usually I can announce it with an "I'm tired, I'm going to bed, see y'all in the morning", etc. but this was unexpected and sudden so it caught me off-guard, and now I've proved that I'm an immature child to my extended family.
