Venting Violent thoughts

[drinkingintohell]

I feel disgusted by myself sometimes. I have terribly violent thoughts that I don't willingly think of. I see my dog and just; want to hurt him. But I really dont? I love him, I wouldn't ever. But the thoughts won't go away. They never do. It feels disgusting and shameful. I mean who thinks that shit? I have to keep telling myself I'm not a bad person. Am I even sure of that? Feels like the opposite. My consciousness is a burden

 

[astr4]

i'm so sorry, dealing with intrusive thoughts is the worst. this sounds a lot like harm ocd, actually. i don't think it means you actually want to hurt your dog, i think our brains are just so stuck on things sometimes. people think bad things all the time, i don't think thoughts make you a bad person, i think your actions do. i wish our brains had a remote control so we could stop it from wandering and thinking unnecessary things.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

It sounds like you are dealing with intrusive thoughts. Plenty of people have them and they are in no way a sign of you being a bad person. If they are getting bad enough to the point of causing distress then I advise that you go see a professional about it since it's not uncommon for them to be symptoms of certain types of mental illnesses, such as PTSD or OCD.

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

It sounds like you're having intrusive thoughts and feelings. You're completely at odds with those feelings/thoughts, so don't be so hard on yourself! If I wanted to know who you were as a person I would look at the opinions and values you hold currently, not some fleeting thought or feeling that crosses your mind.

 

[Namelesa]

Intrusive thoughts are torturous to have. Know you aren't those thoughts as to actually be a violent person, you need to act on those thoughts. As you are not hurting your dog so you can't be considered violent or bad. Lots of people will have thoughts of doing certain bad things but don't act on them so they can't be considered bad. You aren't in full control of your thoughts so try to realize it isn't your fault for thinking these things.

 

[human909]

i have the same thing, i can't even look into my friends eye after what i did, but just tell yourself that it's not you and it's not your fault and hopefully that will help. Hope your violent thoughts stop soon.

 

[drinkingintohell]

thank you all for the replies. I've been struggling with what I now know to be intrusive thoughts for ages. It makes me feel like I'm going insane thinking about these things I never want to do or want to even think about doing. Absolute torture. Might bring it up to my current therapist though I think I remember having done so before and she sort of brushed it off.
Again, really appreciate the replies

 

[freakypossum]

I have periods where my intrusive thoughts are happening often and then where they're mostly gone. They appear much stronger when I'm under a lot of stress. It sucks to deal with them, hope you find a way to control them more, a therapist might be worth a try.