Who do you go to in order to safely discuss violent thoughts and ideations without consequences? Certainly not a therapist. I don't know what to do with these feelings. Seeking help or talking to people could jeapordize my ctb plans? I don't trust anyone. Afraid they might try to take my gun which is my last resort method. Locked and loaded. Ready for me.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,815
I really wished I knew the place, but as far as I know, I don't believe there is such a platform to do so, without risk of trouble and intervention as well as "potentially" breaking the law. I recall that when 8 chan or whatever anonymous board used to be around (before it got shut down over the two/three mass shootings back in August 2019), people did talk about some of the worst things ever on there. I suppose to answer your question, you would have to find such a platform or similar one and then also protect yourself as much as possible in order to talk about what you wish to talk about safely. I don't know of any though.
sorry you feel this way. do you have an idea of what's influencing the shaping of such ideations? certain triggers and/or trauma? medications as we've had individuals on this site in the past whom have had issues with meds that influenced an increase in violent ideations.
unfortunately, imo, you just can't talk to an average human being about such ideations. there gonna take it far worse because of the inability to understand and look past you're ideations like depression and mental state influences, and what not and just see you as a "violent" individual and nothing more or less. thus, a therapist or crisis counselor, one who wants to and tries to understand and is familiar with such feelings and ideations would be you're best bet. obviously it's a hit or miss, you need to find one you're most comfortable with, whom trusts you as much as you trust them and is willingly to listen and hear you without rushing to precautions. there definitely are some people out there in these fields, who would hold such info under confidentiality. I mean, iv had such encounters not about violent ideation per se, but suicidal ideations with just school counselors, whom didnt take measures in locking me up when i told this person about me actively wanting to ctb, or push me towards meds or doctors, and what not; but wanted to listen, understand and promised the idea of trust between us that made me more comfortable even when the person know of my active ideations.
i guess a convo regarding you talking about having these ideations is fine. but if you push it into ideations with a purpose inside of you in ACTING on these ideations, depending on the person, its a problem because of the safety of others. my advice would be talk about them as simply ideations, nothing more, cause people on here in the past had ideations like urself, but never felt the purpose on acting on them.
hopefully you feel better and find a solution. wish you the best of luck.
unfortunately, imo, you just can't talk to an average human being about such ideations. there gonna take it far worse because of the inability to understand and look past you're ideations like depression and mental state influences, and what not and just see you as a "violent" individual and nothing more or less. thus, a therapist or crisis counselor, one who wants to and tries to understand and is familiar with such feelings and ideations would be you're best bet. obviously it's a hit or miss, you need to find one you're most comfortable with, whom trusts you as much as you trust them and is willingly to listen and hear you without rushing to precautions. there definitely are some people out there in these fields, who would hold such info under confidentiality. I mean, iv had such encounters not about violent ideation per se, but suicidal ideations with just school counselors, whom didnt take measures in locking me up when i told this person about me actively wanting to ctb, or push me towards meds or doctors, and what not; but wanted to listen, understand and promised the idea of trust between us that made me more comfortable even when the person know of my active ideations.
i guess a convo regarding you talking about having these ideations is fine. but if you push it into ideations with a purpose inside of you in ACTING on these ideations, depending on the person, its a problem because of the safety of others. my advice would be talk about them as simply ideations, nothing more, cause people on here in the past had ideations like urself, but never felt the purpose on acting on them.
hopefully you feel better and find a solution. wish you the best of luck.
What triggers it is encounters with law enforcement constantly about ctb. What triggers it is I have decided that I won't go to the hospital or anywhere else against my will no matter who shows up, with what badge title or credentials and no matter what weapons and superior force they have. If I will not go and will not be arrested, I'm these circumstances, then what choice is there but violence?
Meretlein
Moderator
- Feb 15, 2019
- 1,199
Stay away from mental health professionals then. The best prevention is to not put yourself in a vulnerable position.
in my opinion, there's an inability and lack of understanding between you and OTHERS in you're position and authoritative figures like law enforcement. perhaps, talking to someone about these ideations, attempting to treat them, emphasising that YOU WONT ACT ON THESE IDEATIONS AND HAVE AN INTENT OR PURPOSE IN ACTING ON VIOLENT THOUGHTS paves a foundation in creating understanding between you and those who try and do things that you dont wanna do. so talking to a counselor, telling them you have these thoughts, want to treated and take preventative measures to treat these thoughts, shows a willingness on you're side that you know these thoughts are bad morally. It also signifies that you dont have the intent on acting on these thoughts. And if you show this, you won't get items like you're weapons taken away. its crucial to create an understand between you and those on the outside looking in. Cause authoritative figures looking on the outside looking in, dont care, if someone sees an individual having violent thoughts, there just gonna lock them up period to prevent anything happening. but if you honestly create a level of understanding, emphasis you don't have the intent and purpose to act on these, the willingness to show that you wanna prevent these thoughts and get treated, stops you from potentially getting treated like you do, cause you're posting here for solutions, showing a willingness in fighting these thoughts.
And im sorry you're getting treated because of a lack of understanding. In turn, certain people like counselors would then acknowledge ur willingness, acknowledge and see you're lack of intent, motive and purpose on these violent thoughts and see you differently then someone of a violent person. the other measures would be in agreeing into doing things outside of just being psychwarded. no one wants to be in psych, locked up like an animal and you're perfectly fine with feeling this way, showing you aren't a THREAT TO OTHERS and YOURSELF by talking about the ideations, and showing a willingness to treat the ideations prevents you from getting locked away and forced the way you have. Perhaps even talking openly about treatment programs, outside of psych and what not, interventions on you're own will, doing these things in showing you wanna treat these ideations BUT ON UR OWN TERMS so ur in control and NOT OTHERS.
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
I have homicidal ideation as well as suicidal ideation and I experienced from psychiatrists and other mental health professionals more understanding and empathy over the homicidal thoughts than the suicidal ones. I had a hospital psychiatrist who when I was suffering from severe anxiety and suicidal ideation was acting like I was a waste of her time and energy ,she accused me of manipulating other professionals to get into hospital.and also accused me of liking hospital. Yet on a later occasion when I threatened to behead a member of staff where I was living,we had an argument and I told him if he didn't leave I would cut his head off. the same psychiatrist basically coached me into what to say to get out of trouble and blamed the group home where I was living for my anger.She basically sided with me and she basically said I wasn't capable of the violence and I had said something in the heat of the moment. She said it's part of my illness to get angry and aggressive and I shouldn't be so hard on myself.
It's a long story but I had reasons for my anger but clearly no one should be losing their head. I was in the wrong in what I said. But it was interesting how the psychiatrist was completely different in the two scenarios.
It's a long story but I had reasons for my anger but clearly no one should be losing their head. I was in the wrong in what I said. But it was interesting how the psychiatrist was completely different in the two scenarios.
imo, the seriousness of you're ideations. even with MH workers, and people in general, they just dont value and truly give a shit UNTIL we say something questionable or till its too late and something actually does happen sadly :(. i think she saw that it really was serious and not just manipulation and maybe even resonated with me because of her own life experiences and wanted to help you genuinly, cause i know that the MAJORITY of people in her position would do the complete opposite, not give two shits and just want you locked up. which is why, its just important having certain types of people to talk to about certain things versus others.
sleepy dog
Wizard
- Sep 13, 2019
- 624
The only way to discuss those thoughts safely is a website, like a forum, that allows anonymous accounts, tor, proxies, etc.
BridgeJumper
The Arsonist
- Apr 7, 2019
- 1,194
I have insane homicidal ideation and no one to talk to about it for fear of legal consequences :( I tried to talk about in on here once when I was still a new member and got a warning so I just learned to keep my mouth shut
I trust 2 or 3 people on here completely and would probably tell them anything.
k75
L'appel du Vide
- Jun 27, 2019
- 2,546
Actually, a therapist is what I'd recommend. If you stress that you have no plan or method or intention to hurt yourself, you can safely talk about ideation. Even violent thoughts. Most therapists do not want to get you sectioned. They are obligated to if you are in immediate danger of harming yourself or others, but thoughts are different.
My therapist asks me about my suicidal ideation and assures me she does not hospitalize people. I can tell her anything as long as she knows I'm not in danger of acting on it.
Don't tell them about your gun. They'll have no way to know. If asked, say you don't have anything you can harm yourself with.
Everything I've said is from my own experience. Things I do myself. I can't promise the same results if you follow my advice, but it worked for me with 13 therapists. I've always talked about my suicidal thoughts and have never been hospitalized.
sleepy dog
Wizard
- Sep 13, 2019
- 624
Talking to a therapist about violent thoughts is absolutely not something that should happen. That would get documented in the person's file. Punishment could come immediately or months, years, even decades later. Your account information says you are a female. That is why you have not been locked up for your thoughts.
k75
L'appel du Vide
- Jun 27, 2019
- 2,546
Fair enough, I guess. Like I said, that's just been my experience.
Why does being female matter in this though? Just curious. Women can be just as bad? I'm not offended or anything, just wondering.
k75
L'appel du Vide
- Jun 27, 2019
- 2,546
Hey, don't get all hostile at me. I didn't do anything to you or any other man, and at least I'm trying to educate myself on what the hell you're going on about.
sleepy dog
Wizard
- Sep 13, 2019
- 624
Show me in any of my posts in this thread where I got "hostile" with you. You just proved why men are treated harshly and women are not. Women imagine that men are hostile. Imagination is not reality. You also proved why men are angry about it. You also proved that the anger is justified.
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k75
L'appel du Vide
- Jun 27, 2019
- 2,546
Your last post. Men angry because I don't know blah blah blah. If I read it wrong I apologize, but that's the way it came across.
