starboy2k
whhaazzzzzuuupppp
- May 21, 2025
- 402
here's some (UNSOLICITED) advice I have received from some people relating to my desire to die…..and here are my responses 
"meditating more will help clear your mind of those toxic temporary thoughts"
: do I look like some bullshit buddhist hippie to you? my suicidal ideation is NOT temporary, its YEARS LONG. you say shit like this to me without knowing that everytime I sit in silence, I either think about killing all the people who unnecessarily harmed me or I start humming the entire Beyonce Renaissance album. that meditation shit is a bust.
"maybe make yourself busy, maybe take up a combat sport or something."
: so you think me paying money I don't fucking have to take up classes to get punched and kicked by strangers will stop me from wanting to die? are you fucking serious? i would rather spend my money on food and drugs, than waste money letting someone kick my ass. fuck you for thinking this shit is "life saving advice".
"you should definitely seek professional help"
: if me being 100% honest with the shit I need "professional help" with results to me being potentially INVOLUNTARILY HOSPITALIZED or being prescribed with zombie meds, how fucking "professional" is the help actually? please stop putting therapists and such on a pedestal, they are just as fucked up as the rest of us…they just hide it better until they can't anymore.
"the people who you think don't care about you will be greatly devastated by you dying"
: they will be greatly devastated because they will have to sit with the fact that their abuse, bullying, neglect, sheltering, and bare minimum parenting was many factors in me taking my life. they don't want me to die not because they want me to keep living, but they dont want to deal with the potential guilt they have instilled into me for being the "monster" they lowkey created. after all why should I care about the reaction my death will cause for someone who pointed a gun in my face, pushed me down a long flight of stairs, beat me like a nigga on the street, birdcage me in the house all the time, treat me like a stranger in my own home, and literally held up a kitchen knife to my dick and threatened to cut it off if I kept wetting the bed UPON MANY OTHER THINGS WHY THE FUCK WOULD I CARE FUCK THEM!
"trying getting out the house and touching some grass"
: i live in a big city, and the grass at my local park is damn near dead, why touch half dead grass when I can touch your dad's dick and destroy his marriage and your family? stop saying this stupid tiktok shit to me AT ONCE!
if you made it to the end of this post, obviously you can tell Im resistant asf because I am lol, I definitely have some problems going on upstairs, and I have a sense of humor you may not like (womp womp)…but thanks for reading anyways and I still want to die. <3
"meditating more will help clear your mind of those toxic temporary thoughts"
: do I look like some bullshit buddhist hippie to you? my suicidal ideation is NOT temporary, its YEARS LONG. you say shit like this to me without knowing that everytime I sit in silence, I either think about killing all the people who unnecessarily harmed me or I start humming the entire Beyonce Renaissance album. that meditation shit is a bust."maybe make yourself busy, maybe take up a combat sport or something."
: so you think me paying money I don't fucking have to take up classes to get punched and kicked by strangers will stop me from wanting to die? are you fucking serious? i would rather spend my money on food and drugs, than waste money letting someone kick my ass. fuck you for thinking this shit is "life saving advice"."you should definitely seek professional help"
: if me being 100% honest with the shit I need "professional help" with results to me being potentially INVOLUNTARILY HOSPITALIZED or being prescribed with zombie meds, how fucking "professional" is the help actually? please stop putting therapists and such on a pedestal, they are just as fucked up as the rest of us…they just hide it better until they can't anymore."the people who you think don't care about you will be greatly devastated by you dying"
: they will be greatly devastated because they will have to sit with the fact that their abuse, bullying, neglect, sheltering, and bare minimum parenting was many factors in me taking my life. they don't want me to die not because they want me to keep living, but they dont want to deal with the potential guilt they have instilled into me for being the "monster" they lowkey created. after all why should I care about the reaction my death will cause for someone who pointed a gun in my face, pushed me down a long flight of stairs, beat me like a nigga on the street, birdcage me in the house all the time, treat me like a stranger in my own home, and literally held up a kitchen knife to my dick and threatened to cut it off if I kept wetting the bed UPON MANY OTHER THINGS WHY THE FUCK WOULD I CARE FUCK THEM!"trying getting out the house and touching some grass"
: i live in a big city, and the grass at my local park is damn near dead, why touch half dead grass when I can touch your dad's dick and destroy his marriage and your family? stop saying this stupid tiktok shit to me AT ONCE! if you made it to the end of this post, obviously you can tell Im resistant asf because I am lol, I definitely have some problems going on upstairs, and I have a sense of humor you may not like (womp womp)…but thanks for reading anyways and I still want to die. <3
