Venting verbal abuse by brothers

[KiraComplex]

hi i just wanted to get this out because none or my friends really give a shit or interrupt with their own venting (which i dont mind here btw) sorry if im just bitching

my two brothers are some of the most hot and cold pieces of shit ive ever met. im sick of the almost constant abuse.

one of my brothers is super fucking rude- tells my mom to shut the fuck up (and she doesnt want to fight back bc tired from work), calls her annoying, says shes lazy, all to her fucking face. its terrible.
he would also be super nice to me, start liking all my interests and sends me Persona memes, treats me nice, gives me bacon when hes cooking. and the next moment he calls me a fat retard, a fucking idiot, lazy, and stupid (once called me a tr*nnie). of course i cut and cry, then the next moment, i feel bad because he sends me memes. then it starts again.
just recently, we had a huge fight. he wouldnt get his clothes out the wash, and i really really needed clean clothes. he said to not touch anything, and started shouting slurs and calling me worthless and fat. i laughed in his face because he hates that and said, "youll come crawling back. what meme will you send this time??" and we havent talked since. its been 4 weeks. i see him exactly how i see my ex, which is such a surprising feeling. i want to say ive been happier now that he doesnt talk to me anymore, but the years of hurt and his words still sting to the point where its the only thing i think about when i cut and plan. it just hurts.

the other one hurts the same maybe more. he treats me nice but switches so fast. we were talking about actresses and he looked them up and i said they were sisters and just fucking randomly told me to shut the fuck up, not even as a joke. or wed be talking about his weird car interest and id ask something and hed call me an idiot for thinking that. i cant take the constant switching.

long post but this is my main documented reason for suicide. my note will mention all of this, aside from the depression and constant anxiety (and hate for society but thats a lil edgy). thanks for reading.
if u have any, please put your experience below!! i may cry over them though.

 

[glittergore]

Sorry to hear about your experiences with your brothers. It sucks that they both lull you in a false sense of security by being nice and then turn on you. You in no way deserve that. I'm guessing moving out isn't an option for you currently.

 

[KiraComplex]

Sorry to hear about your experiences with your brothers. It sucks that they both lull you in a false sense of security by being nice and then turn on you. You in no way deserve that. I'm guessing moving out isn't an option for you currently.

nope, i have to take care of my grandfather. they wont move out because theyre lazy and ones not old enough

 

[Red]

Your bro sounds like he's got some issues n needs to sort himself out, that's not normal behaviour!
Know any tall dudes with big hands who could knock him down a peg??
Seriously though it sounds like he's the one with the problems and he's just projecting them onto you. Pretend like you're actually just holding a mirror up when he talks like that n that he's insulting his own reflection - when people use the same insult on several different people they're usually getting it from inside, not finding it in you.
He obviously hates himself and can't face it x

 

[coldeyes]

Maybe it's only sibling normal things. They're boys. It's the only way they know how to express their love for you. That's how boys are. Try ignoring their pranks, or play some pranks on them. You'd be amazed that they will enjoy being surprised . That's how boys are in their natural state.

 

[KiraComplex]

Your bro sounds like he's got some issues n needs to sort himself out, that's not normal behaviour!
Know any tall dudes with big hands who could knock him down a peg??
Seriously though it sounds like he's the one with the problems and he's just projecting them onto you. Pretend like you're actually just holding a mirror up when he talks like that n that he's insulting his own reflection - when people use the same insult on several different people they're usually getting it from inside, not finding it in you.
He obviously hates himself and can't face it x

this ^^^ ill remember it always, so truthful!

Maybe it's only sibling normal things. They're boys. It's the only way they know how to express their love for you. That's how boys are. Try ignoring their pranks, or play some pranks on them. You'd be amazed that they will enjoy being surprised . That's how boys are in their natural state.

i thought about this, but its a lot more than just boy stuff. mental illness runs in the family too.

 

[Bct]

Wow, those are horrible bros you have! Those are way out of the line. Even if you're mad at them, I guess they'll try to dismiss what they did as jokes.

 

[KiraComplex]

Wow, those are horrible bros you have! Those are way out of the line. Even if you're mad at them, I guess they'll try to dismiss what they did as jokes.

yeah, thats what a lot of abusers do: you get mad at them, then they say "wait wait wait i was JOKING" to keep the cycle of abuse.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

yeah, thats what a lot of abusers do: you get mad at them, then they say "wait wait wait i was JOKING" to keep the cycle of abuse.

I don't know if any of this will help, but sharing two threads (here and here) that have been valuable resources for me. The first one lists claiming joking as a minimizing manipulation tactic. Of course you can't change your brothers, but if there's anything that empowers you, then you can make the situation more manageable for yourself (the Boundaries book in the second link is really good, and even warns about retaliation techniques when someone stops taking others' shit). People like that want to get inside and corrode others. Fuck that!

 

[Bct]

yeah, thats what a lot of abusers do: you get mad at them, then they say "wait wait wait i was JOKING" to keep the cycle of abuse.

Indeed. Wish I just punched their faces when my bullies were crossed the line, but my weak personality & the guilt of being a bully at a person made me feel like I deserved to get bullied again.

 

[Lostandfound7]

I know u said u take care of ur grandfather but since ur mom won't interfere n stop the BS, I would consider moving out n leaving HER to take care of him..

Enough is enough! This is ABUSE! Take care of YOU, honey..♡♡♡

 

[KiraComplex]

I know u said u take care of ur grandfather but since ur mom won't interfere n stop the BS, I would consider moving out n leaving HER to take care of him..

Enough is enough! This is ABUSE! Take care of YOU, honey..♡♡♡

im workin on it!!!
a little sad, one of them is a lazy 21 year old who whines about getting dinner..... maybe theyll move out before i do

 

[Lostandfound7]

im workin on it!!!
a little sad, one of them is a lazy 21 year old who whines about getting dinner..... maybe theyll move out before i do

Yes! I hope they do too!! FFS!!!