ruru_241

ruru_241

even angels get sad
Mar 12, 2023
66
it hurts, it hurts alot. i wish he loves me like i do but it's impossible, since he no longer does and can't feel romantic love anymore.
i know i should move on from him but i'm so scared to in a way.. i'm scared to fall in love with another person because what if they hurt me and use me? he was the only person who loved me truly and that i felt safe with. he posted on here few months ago saying that he's basically considering doing CTB (which i understand, i won't stop him), and i don't know what to do anymore. he told me he might live if he finds reason to but .. i don't want to hold on to that hope he will, since i know if he does i'll end up feeling horrible. i can't live without him at all, he's the most precious to me. if he goes, then i likely will too after. i can't handle grief anymore.

this hurts so much. he said he likely will be scared to love again if i do decide to ctb before him.
my heart hurts so much. it hurts. i don't want to be here and to feel this pain anymore. i'm sorry.
all i ever want is for him to be happy and stress-free.
 
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