devil

devil

Jun 22, 2019
438
not sure if anyone will relate to this, but I feel like venting
feel free to ignore me

does anyone else have days or weeks or even months where everything can be going fine and normal
but then there can also be the exact opposite as well. I'll also have days, weeks, months where
I'm nothing but miserable and struggling. I will either be high on life, i'll have future goals and i'll
actually hangout with friends and want to go to work everyday or i'll not get out of bed at all,
i'll plan my suicide in different ways, i'll start drinking and self harming, basically life will be hell
and I see no point to living at all.

It's such an awful thing to deal with because when you're feeling good it just seems false and disappointing
because you know that any single moment you'll start crashing down all over again. I just don't know
which side of myself to believe, I honestly think i'm more likely to be depressed and suicidal because it's where
I tend to feel the most normal....
 
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Whitewash11235814

Whitewash11235814

Experienced
Oct 21, 2019
207
Yes. I have noticeable ups and downs. My ups are best described as creativity manifested in feeling. Going for night walks heightens this magical sensation. My worst resembles gray clouds devouring my insides.
 
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P

pole

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,385
definitely yeah. for me, its cause the little things will trigger me into resorting back to my negativity. sucks being an extremely sensitive person cause you react differently and everything hits you 1000x times harder, even the smallest things.
 
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