Calliandras
Member
- Oct 15, 2024
- 30
Honestly my relationship with my family is such a shitshow instead of unpacking it i'd rather just throw away the whole suitcase. But the way they reacted to my last attempt (CO, last month) just takes the cake.
The first time i tried to ctb i was 14 and had no idea what i was doing. I tried to OD on some meds and I barely had a reaction at all so they didn't even know about it. I was just a kid, so i try not to be embarassed about it.
The second time i was 23 and tried cutting. It was ugly and messy, but not effective. They called an ambulance and i spent the day in the hospital, then went through almost a year of psychological treatment (it's free in Brazil, but pretty bad, the psychiatrist treated me like shit).
The third time (24) i tried to OD on meds again, but chickened out and asked them for help. They took me to the hospital themselves and i spent 3 days there, but no psychological treatment this time.
Now i'm 25 and tried OC. They didn't even take me to the hospital, just to a nearby church where they told them i had an evil spirit attached to me. Then they made me go to work the next day. I was still pretty out of touch, but they made sure i got on the bus, all while being agressive and rude to me, like it was meant to be a punishment. I guess they had the right to feel like this after all the trouble from the previous attempts, but still every time i think about that i get so upset. Why did they act like that?
Things were bad before, now they're even worse. The constant vigilance combined with the daily berating of every single thing i do almost makes me lose it. That's what i get for being a grown ass adult still living with them i guess. They get so cruel sometimes.
The first time i tried to ctb i was 14 and had no idea what i was doing. I tried to OD on some meds and I barely had a reaction at all so they didn't even know about it. I was just a kid, so i try not to be embarassed about it.
The second time i was 23 and tried cutting. It was ugly and messy, but not effective. They called an ambulance and i spent the day in the hospital, then went through almost a year of psychological treatment (it's free in Brazil, but pretty bad, the psychiatrist treated me like shit).
The third time (24) i tried to OD on meds again, but chickened out and asked them for help. They took me to the hospital themselves and i spent 3 days there, but no psychological treatment this time.
Now i'm 25 and tried OC. They didn't even take me to the hospital, just to a nearby church where they told them i had an evil spirit attached to me. Then they made me go to work the next day. I was still pretty out of touch, but they made sure i got on the bus, all while being agressive and rude to me, like it was meant to be a punishment. I guess they had the right to feel like this after all the trouble from the previous attempts, but still every time i think about that i get so upset. Why did they act like that?
Things were bad before, now they're even worse. The constant vigilance combined with the daily berating of every single thing i do almost makes me lose it. That's what i get for being a grown ass adult still living with them i guess. They get so cruel sometimes.
