About 15 years ago I was struck with epilepsy. If you were to approach me and start chatting, you'd discover this in about 5 minutes. After a good number of pill jumps my then neurologist purposed a surgery - temporal lobecotomy to carve that shit out of my brain.
To be more accurate, I purposed that he purposes that.
I was like "I've read that there are surgeries and all this inspiration porn about young little seven-to-twelve year old girls with literally half a brain (hemispherectomy) and they're all alive and happy. How about we pull this shit on me?"
He "hnmmm"-ed like a Russian supervillain and told me to come back in three months. In the meantime he gave me more papers for more pills.
Three months later the declaration is in the open: Compo wants his brain chopped!
After God knows how many brain scans in various forms, seizures induced and not induced we come here: somewhere in June were doing an sEEG! Drill into my head, put some electrodes in and induce seizures. This tells us where the epileptic node is, if there's more than one, and most importantly, can we carve that shit out, because if not, the best alternative is a VNS implant. A VNS implant doesn't necessarily mean freedom, it just means weaker seizures. It doesn't mean I can drive, or ride a bike, or go camping on my own, it just means it hurts differently.
And so comes the odd feeling of getting closer to the bus station.
Up till now ctb was just this vague idea of ceasing to exist. Now it turns real. The feeling is not scary, it's just... odd... don't know how to describe it otherwise.
I suppose I'll come back to this subject in June.
To be more accurate, I purposed that he purposes that.
I was like "I've read that there are surgeries and all this inspiration porn about young little seven-to-twelve year old girls with literally half a brain (hemispherectomy) and they're all alive and happy. How about we pull this shit on me?"
He "hnmmm"-ed like a Russian supervillain and told me to come back in three months. In the meantime he gave me more papers for more pills.
Three months later the declaration is in the open: Compo wants his brain chopped!
After God knows how many brain scans in various forms, seizures induced and not induced we come here: somewhere in June were doing an sEEG! Drill into my head, put some electrodes in and induce seizures. This tells us where the epileptic node is, if there's more than one, and most importantly, can we carve that shit out, because if not, the best alternative is a VNS implant. A VNS implant doesn't necessarily mean freedom, it just means weaker seizures. It doesn't mean I can drive, or ride a bike, or go camping on my own, it just means it hurts differently.
And so comes the odd feeling of getting closer to the bus station.
Up till now ctb was just this vague idea of ceasing to exist. Now it turns real. The feeling is not scary, it's just... odd... don't know how to describe it otherwise.
I suppose I'll come back to this subject in June.
