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daz4160
New Member
- Mar 2, 2020
- 4
hi guys, i'm new on here, my name is daz,i'm 46 & i'm from south wales in uk. I have suffered with depression on & off since I was around 15 yrs old due to childhood traumas / sexual abuse and over the years I have been on various meds and had many relapse periods but since around august 2018 I have just lost all interest in living so I turned to taking large overdoses and the first time that I was actually caught was back in april 2019 to which was my own fault really. you see , prior to this, I did some research online about the helium hood method so I had bought 2 balloon tanks and pipe etc off amazon and used the oven bag out of the oven pride cleaning kit for the hood and I rigged it all up ready.i also had a mixture of 274 tablets ready to take before I put the hood on. obviously I expected to pass away quickly considering what I had read online. anyway I was ready to go and so I made sure my will and goodbye letters etc was all in order and I left them out for my sister to find along with a note on the stairs for her not to go upstairs but instead pick up all the documents & money and go outside and call the emergency services. I then sent my sister a text and asked her to go to my house the following day to check on it as I was away lol. I guess I wanted my sister to get the documents and money before the police etc but it didn't quite go to plan lol. yes she turned up with her partner but ignored my instruction not to go upstairs because I had taken an overdose etc. anyway she went upstairs and found me in a coma state and the emergency services had my sister and her partner on the phone give instructions on what to do til the emergency services arrived and after I come round in hospital I was then transferred to a mental health ward called talygarn for observation to which was somewhat like a prison with nothing to do. after around a week I was discharged and allowed to go home but then had a mental health team both phoning me regular and visiting my home to see if I had any intentions of killing myself again lol and after a few months I was discharged from that also. I then took another large overdose in august and certain people did try to get me detained under the mental health act but failed to do so lol. instead they was told I cant be detained because I was compliant lol so I am truly thankful for being allowed to continue with my plans without fear of being detained under the mental health act and left to suffer. at the end of the day, these so called health professionals don't know what its like to feel empty inside or suicidal , sure enough they are quick to give out different anti depressents but if you read up on them, doctors don't even know how they work or if at all they will and that doesn't help any of us that's suffering and its certainly no fun taking these tablets and to then have the horrible side effects that goes with them. anyway I have recently discovered a perfectly legal form that can be downloaded off the internet here in the uk . its called " advance decision to refuse treatment " this form allows you to list the treatments that you refuse in the event of a medical emergency even if such refusal leads to death. so I have specified that I refuse to accept all life sustaining treatment including cpr and I refuse to accept drugs used to reverse an overdose, including naloxone / narcan . this form is legal document and free to download from compassion in dying but you must confirm that you have the capacity to make the decisions and you also need someone to witness the form for you. so if you wish to use such form, its best to to explain to a friend etc that should a medical emergency arrives then you would not want any life sustaining treatment whatsoever. then with the form completed with your wishes, signed and witnessed. take several copies and ensure they are clearly visible should there ever be a need for the emergency services