Venting Vanishing mind

[yyytry]

As I get older, the time line seems like a disappearing road.
I'm forgetting huge chunks of my previous lives/versions of self.

Passion and enthusiasm feel completely gone.

Anything is possible, but why try anymore?
There is nothing new under the sun.

 

[RichardFirst]

Memory gaps are seemingly something that many people suffer from during a mental breakdown. For my own, the last three years seem extremely hazy to me. I know things happened, but I'm not sure how or when.

It helps to keep a journal. Enthusiasm, however, is not something that can easily be summoned.

 

[Hotsackage]

the moment is your friend. but i experience what you feel constantly

 

[yyytry]

Memory gaps are seemingly something that many people suffer from during a mental breakdown. For my own, the last three years seem extremely hazy to me. I know things happened, but I'm not sure how or when.

It helps to keep a journal. Enthusiasm, however, is not something that can easily be summoned.

Yes you're right, a journal helps.
Overtime, I started to avoid regular journaling because of how exhausted I felt putting down my feelings AGAIN.
I literally have gotten tired of the rehashing or mental legwork to process whatever is going on.

Now things are disappearing off the mental shelf. Such a lack of who I am, that I can't fight for who I was or where I was going anymore.

 

[RichardFirst]

Yes you're right, a journal helps.
Overtime, I started to avoid regular journaling because of how exhausted I felt putting down my feelings AGAIN.
I literally have gotten tired of the rehashing or mental legwork to process whatever is going on.

Now things are disappearing off the mental shelf. Such a lack of who I am, that I can't fight for who I was or where I was going anymore.

It sounds to me like you're mentally exhausted. The frightening thing about a mental breakdown is that, sometimes, it seems that we just adapt to it. It's as if our mind begins to shut down parts of itself in order to function.

 

[yyytry]

It sounds to me like you're mentally exhausted. The frightening thing about a mental breakdown is that, sometimes, it seems that we just adapt to it. It's as if our mind begins to shut down parts of itself in order to function.

I think I need to take a look at what a mental breakdown is again. See what this slow adaptation is all about…

But yeah, feels like parts of my soul/mind are shut down. Logically, I know the solution to my problem. I just don't want to fix it anymore.

 

[RichardFirst]

I think I need to take a look at what a mental breakdown is again. See what this slow adaptation is all about…

But yeah, feels like parts of my soul/mind are shut down. Logically, I know the solution to my problem. I just don't want to fix it anymore.

Well I'm no expert at all, but my own experience is that whilst my situation has not changed greatly in the last few months, scenarios that would have reduced me to tears back in January hardly faze me today. The human mind will usually adapt to things. I've read that this happened to people in prison; they simply become "used" to the horrible situation.

 

[dialogos]

Well I'm no expert at all, but my own experience is that whilst my situation has not changed greatly in the last few months, scenarios that would have reduced me to tears back in January hardly faze me today. The human mind will usually adapt to things. I've read that this happened to people in prison; they simply become "used" to the horrible situation.

Desensitization. Your chats with the TS hit a chord with me. I'm in a similar phase in regards to my feelings. However, intellectually I know my circumstances haven't changed for the better..just delayed my inevitable CTV which could be this month