urgent! what do i do?? ctb????

[3FailedAttemptss]

Help!! My mom knows about my SN and has been looking for it and asking me to give it up, I likely only have one more night home before I get admitted to the ward again if I don't give it up. Do I use this opportunity to CTB??? I wouldn't be following any protocol just swallowing some SN. Like we all have to go sometime so it might as well be now. I would've liked to have written my goodbyes but my mom is sorta forcing my hand here. I don't know what to do??? Do I keep the SN and go to the ward? do I CTB? do I give up the SN and just order more?? what the fuck do I do?????

 

[eggsausagerice]

just give it up and buy more later. your attempt will probably be interrupted by your mom if you try to do it today, or it could fail bc you're not following protocol. as long as you have the money you can buy more online imo

 

[SCHOPENHAUERBITCH]

Help!! My mom knows about my SN and has been looking for it and asking me to give it up, I likely only have one more night home before I get admitted to the ward again if I don't give it up. Do I use this opportunity to CTB??? I wouldn't be following any protocol just swallowing some SN. Like we all have to go sometime so it might as well be now. I would've liked to have written my goodbyes but my mom is sorta forcing my hand here. I don't know what to do??? Do I keep the SN and go to the ward? do I CTB? do I give up the SN and just order more?? what the fuck do I do?????

Definitely give it up. You will get another chance. The worst possible thing you could do concerning your own life is act impulsively.

 

[webb&flow]

Just because the option is there, does not mean you should take it ~ .

 

[DontTouchMeImFamous]

just give it up and buy more later. your attempt will probably be interrupted by your mom if you try to do it today, or it could fail bc you're not following protocol. as long as you have the money you can buy more online imo

But they might not be able to find an online seller

Do I keep the SN and go to the ward?

That doesn't sound like a very bad idea tbh. It's hard to find an SN seller these days. But if you're confident that you can secure an SN seller, then give it up and order more later.

 

[eggsausagerice]

But they might not be able to find an online seller

how did they buy they sn to begin with lol?

 

[fadedghost]

It's a hard question for anyone to answer... because you are essentially asking other forum users whether you should keep a method of suicide (making it more likely you'll die) or give it up (making it more likely you'll live) or attempt (making it much more likely you'll die). Other users really aren't supposed to encourage other forum users to end things. There's information here, but this is sort of getting into a sketchy area, especially because you sound young and uncertain.

I hope your situation improves and if you get hospitalized that it helps you feel better. I personally think you should not CTB based on the wording of your question, but don't know your situation.

For instance, when someone on this forum with a terminal illness, or in chronic pain that can't be treated, ends up ctbing, I am usually happy for them. When someone over 18 but under 30 CTBs and hasn't tried that hard to get better, it usually seems sad to me.

Also, if your mom knows you ordered SN and is freaking out, and she doesn't find it and you were to take it, that would traumatize her forever. Like, she would be going "Why didn't I find it?" and blaming herself. It would be an unkind way of ending things, I know you're suffering but try to stay alive longer if you can.

 

[kufajoy]

If you can buy sn again. Sure of it then just delay if you are not ready yet.
I would drink the sn if i was half ready and if I think I won't be able get sn again later.