Ups and downs

[deadwithoutmusic]

I think it's pretty normal to experience ups and downs in how you're feeling on any given day. Even when I wasn't deppressed in the past there's obviously days when you don't feel like doing things and are a bit down and days when you feel normal or even really good.

I was wondering what everyones ups and downs feel like if you experience any changes at all in your mood?

I've been having some good days lately which may be due to therapy or taking time off my work but it's hard to tell how long it will last and I still have some down periods during these good days as well where I feel like ctb which makes me think the bad days are not far away or when I go back to my work it might all just come back and get a lot worse again and I can't function in society.

 

[MsMaudlin]

On my good days I can get quite excitable, almost giddy and happy with life and my situation.
But on days like today, lying here crying and desperate for a strong manly hug, that will never come, I would press the button if that meant immediate dispatch from those feelings.

❤

 

[miguel6565]

Yea lately my days been better and im eating better and showering myself which is something i didnt used to do,i mean all days still suck but there are moements like when i am high or playing videogames i could keep on living a bit more,and bad days suck because all i want is be dead and thats when i just wanna die and i dont wanna even play videogames

On my good days I can get quite excitable, almost giddy and happy with life and my situation.
But on days like today, lying here crying and desperate for a strong manly hug, that will never come, I would press the button if that meant immediate dispatch from those feelings.

❤

A virtual hug from me

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

my 'ups' are me having a boost in confidence, laughing at my own jokes, moving around a lot, that sort of thing. i also tend to laugh at everything and shake things off.

my 'downs' are me contemplating the meaning of life, not wanting to do anything, not finding joy in anything, not wanting to eat, etc.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm glad you brought up mood fluctuation. As you said, it's normal for our moods to be a bit fluid every day.

Anyway, ups and downs. My ups are really just me acting normal. I'll have enough energy to do my chores, I'll text my friends. I can make the effort to talk to people irl. I can wear the mask for the majority of my time interacting with others - but it's not uncommon for me to get a sudden sick, dreadful, hopeless feeling and drop the facade. Even on my "good" days I can't escape this shit. I know it's a good day though because I can do things. On a really really good day I care enough to shower and brush my teeth. Lol...

My downs... I'll be in bed all day. No desire to do anything. My brain feels like static, cotton, and fog? I get random urges to hurt myself, and my thoughts are really bad which makes it worse. I either feel dread and melancholy, or numbness. If it's really bad, I feel separated from myself and the world around me. Things feel off and fake. I find that I don't want to get out of bed because life feels so heavy and painful, and I feel too ashamed. It's a sickening shame. Even the thought of people seeing me makes me fall deeper and want to hurt myself. I can still browse this website and try to interact with people, but barely. And I feel ashamed to be seen on here, like all I do is fuck up. But I try really hard to ignore it because I know this is a safe space.

 

[Blueman]

On my good days I can get quite excitable, almost giddy and happy with life and my situation.
But on days like today, lying here crying and desperate for a strong manly hug, that will never come, I would press the button if that meant immediate dispatch from those feelings.

❤

A strong manly Covid-19 restricted virtual hug from me xx

 

[delilahmaie]

My moods are all over the place they can change in a moment but there seems to be a solid base of happy or sad that lasts from 2 weeks to a month before switching. My whole way of thinking turns and I go from a glass half empty to a glass half full kinda person.

When I'm good I'll be excitable, I move around a lot, do weird things. I always have to be moving and I crack on with DIY, or shopping, any little task I can find I'm always on the go ! I make a lot of purchases I get big ideas in my head, some recent ones have been I'm going to get a tattoo, a nose job, new carpets, I'm going to create a baking business, maybe I'll go into the cam world. I can't deal with silence when I'm feeling happy. If there's dead silence I have to make noise. I have this little buzz inside of me and I feel like I've 100% got this, life it amazing and I'm doing fabulous... then I can wake up the next day and feel empty, unloved and hopeless. I'm convinced nothing will ever be ok and I loose the ability to function or think rationally. I do things I wouldn't usually do and I dissociate from myself and start twitching and repeating words. I become this walking zombie and it's the complete opposite, suddenly I need silence and people taking or asking questions massively irritates me. I feel like crying constantly because I can't cope with life and people. I delve into deep thoughts about not being good enough and not fitting in. I convince myself I'm too good for this world, that everyone here is heartless and mean. I wonder intensely about how people can be so cruel and I dig myself into this suicidal hole. Then I sleep and wake up myself again.

My rollercoaster moods literally drain all the energy from me, I never know what's really real

 

[Wayfaerer]

I really hate it when I hear in-person "life is full of ups and downs" I totally disregard anything people say when they give me that.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I have ups and downs even if wanting to die remains somewhat constant

 

[deadwithoutmusic]

I really hate it when I hear in-person "life is full of ups and downs" I totally disregard anything people say when they give me that.

I'm not talking about ups and downs in life, more like ups and downs just in your mood.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I'm not talking about ups and downs in life, more like ups and downs just in your mood.

I've always interpreted that as the same thing. I've had a lot more down moods than up in my life.

 

[demuic]

My moods are all over the place they can change in a moment but there seems to be a solid base of happy or sad that lasts from 2 weeks to a month before switching. My whole way of thinking turns and I go from a glass half empty to a glass half full kinda person.

When I'm good I'll be excitable, I move around a lot, do weird things. I always have to be moving and I crack on with DIY, or shopping, any little task I can find I'm always on the go ! I make a lot of purchases I get big ideas in my head, some recent ones have been I'm going to get a tattoo, a nose job, new carpets, I'm going to create a baking business, maybe I'll go into the cam world. I can't deal with silence when I'm feeling happy. If there's dead silence I have to make noise. I have this little buzz inside of me and I feel like I've 100% got this, life it amazing and I'm doing fabulous... then I can wake up the next day and feel empty, unloved and hopeless. I'm convinced nothing will ever be ok and I loose the ability to function or think rationally. I do things I wouldn't usually do and I dissociate from myself and start twitching and repeating words. I become this walking zombie and it's the complete opposite, suddenly I need silence and people taking or asking questions massively irritates me. I feel like crying constantly because I can't cope with life and people. I delve into deep thoughts about not being good enough and not fitting in. I convince myself I'm too good for this world, that everyone here is heartless and mean. I wonder intensely about how people can be so cruel and I dig myself into this suicidal hole. Then I sleep and wake up myself again.

My rollercoaster moods literally drain all the energy from me, I never know what's really real

Do you know if you have Bipolar or a similar condition?

 

[delilahmaie]

Do you know if you have Bipolar or a similar condition?

Recently, I've been speaking to a mental health nurse on the phone fortnightly who thinks I have some kind of mood disorder, not as extreme as bipolar. I'm meeting her in person next week. She thinks cyclothymia or BPD