update to my previous post about substances

[coolgal82]

apparently the answer is possibly a mix of weed (Edibles) and alcohol

rn i am like experimenting fully with how it works, but like it appears to be good. like i was having a woman moment over my "besties" doing yet more things without me, just popped an edible and swallowed it with some soju, and like it hasnt been long since ingestion but already the emotions feel way less intense. it's nice. unfortunately it makes like good times not feel as good like it kinda dulls them as well i think? cant really tell. i just dont really feel much really and its a refreshing break. i kinda just dont care much about anything apart from being mildly annoyed at my "besties"

idk who knows maybe something will change. i still feel shit but like its not as all consuming and intense and making me hit myself on the head or bite my fingers or tear at my hair or scream or cut myself or anything. idk. thanks everyone for their suggestions on that post (or most people anyway. the exception most likely knows who they are! :3)

 

[coolgal82]

more notes for my science weed + alcohol mixed are very useful for like stopping/reducing woman moments like i just havent cared this entire night lmao its kinda nice no room in my brainnfor thoughts and like the feelings are way less intense/strong like im unhappy with my friends and dont really like them but im not crying or screaming or doing anything else im just vibing also im ngl like 3-4 hours just kinda disappeared this shit is magic, although part of me doesnt like it cus like 1. that stuff is like part of me atleast i think and like reducing it means my struggles arent as valid and also like i dont wanna fix my problems i dont deserve it and like again as i said theyre like one of the core parts of me thats like always there in some form or another while everything else is like changing and uncertain and idfk lmao so who knows if i will be repeating this again its kind of a damned if you do damned if you dont type of thing lmao

(copied from the chat thought id post it hre too)