hi-okbye
7.7.2023<3
- May 5, 2023
- 656
hii!
so just an update to everything. once the opioids wore off completely, around this morning, i got some energy back thankfully. my entire body has muscle soreness, even when i move, because of everything that happened. it's been going away though which is good, and i only feel it when i move too much/overly extend a muscle.
i started my first day at the program, and it wasn't horrible. it wasn't amazing, i don't really think it'll help much, it just buys me some time. it's a month long, so i have this month if i need it all, but i feel like i'll do it sooner.
i still want to follow through with the lake thing, i'm just worried something will happen to my bag. the medication could've spilled or something. i feel so stupid and dumb for not taking more. i even had more chocolate and a whole bottle of water to cover the taste. i feel like i don't belong here. i just wish i had fallen asleep in that lake and never woke up again. it was so peaceful :/
i do feel like i might have to place in some other ideas. i'm not entirely sure what other methods to consider now. i read the recouce compilation a few times, not recently though so i might do it again. i'm just so stuck on this being my method, i really want to do it in the next week. but if i can't, then i might have to consider something else. i also want some quick backup, because i know if i do it again and survive, i probably won't be able to avoid intense psychiatric help.
i think that's all i have for now, thank you :)
so just an update to everything. once the opioids wore off completely, around this morning, i got some energy back thankfully. my entire body has muscle soreness, even when i move, because of everything that happened. it's been going away though which is good, and i only feel it when i move too much/overly extend a muscle.
i started my first day at the program, and it wasn't horrible. it wasn't amazing, i don't really think it'll help much, it just buys me some time. it's a month long, so i have this month if i need it all, but i feel like i'll do it sooner.
i still want to follow through with the lake thing, i'm just worried something will happen to my bag. the medication could've spilled or something. i feel so stupid and dumb for not taking more. i even had more chocolate and a whole bottle of water to cover the taste. i feel like i don't belong here. i just wish i had fallen asleep in that lake and never woke up again. it was so peaceful :/
i do feel like i might have to place in some other ideas. i'm not entirely sure what other methods to consider now. i read the recouce compilation a few times, not recently though so i might do it again. i'm just so stuck on this being my method, i really want to do it in the next week. but if i can't, then i might have to consider something else. i also want some quick backup, because i know if i do it again and survive, i probably won't be able to avoid intense psychiatric help.
i think that's all i have for now, thank you :)
