Update on that Bus

[golaxation]

If you were here earlier, you would have seen my plans to CTB tonight. Today, I got a little bit of hope. There's a phone call I've been waiting for to tell me if I can return to something I've longed so much for that I gave up recently though I shouldn't have. I never thought they'd call but I was told I'll be called tomorrow.

For now, I'm going to put my plans on pause and wait until tomorrow. The hardest part of continuing is the humility. The humility to accept that I made mistakes. The humility to accept that people are living their life without me right now and they are happier than they were before. The humility to accept that I'm on my own path. This is difficult, but not impossible.

I still have all my materials. I'll keep you updated tomorrow.

 

[Fabled Oblivion]

I hope things work out for you, I don't think about other people in the position i am I so you have more strength and resilience than me I try to think of what will help me continue and am selfish so for you to consider humility you seem to be a better person than I. I wish you the best.

 

[golaxation]

I hope things work out for you, I don't think about other people in the position i am I so you have more strength and resilience than me I try to think of what will help me continue and am selfish so for you to consider humility you seem to be a better person than I. I wish you the best.

I am quite a selfish and prideful person. That has been shown to me through what I'm going through. Trust me I am not better than you. I still think about taking that bus even now. What I'll say is pray. It might sound cheesy or awkward but seriously. Pray. Don't pray for what you want. Just talk to Jesus about what you're going through - that's prayer. Talk to Him as if He's your best friend or the friend you've always wanted. Keep doing that and I know He will give you something to hope for even if it's not the thing you wanted or expected and in that you will learn as I have that to keep going first requires accept things aren't what we want but that doesn't mean it can't still be good.

 

[Fabled Oblivion]

I am quite a selfish and prideful person. That has been shown to me through what I'm going through. Trust me I am not better than you. I still think about taking that bus even now. What I'll say is pray. It might sound cheesy or awkward but seriously. Pray. Don't pray for what you want. Just talk to Jesus about what you're going through - that's prayer. Talk to Him as if He's your best friend or the friend you've always wanted. Keep doing that and I know He will give you something to hope for even if it's not the thing you wanted or expected and in that you will learn as I have that to keep going first requires accept things aren't what we want but that doesn't mean it can't still be good.

You seem stronger than me. I gave up on praying long ago but maybe I should try again there really is nothing to lose I can't accept things they wat them are cause life could be so much better. CTB seems like the best option but maybe I'll find something better I hope you do too.

 

[Heading to Darkness]

I am quite a selfish and prideful person. That has been shown to me through what I'm going through. Trust me I am not better than you. I still think about taking that bus even now. What I'll say is pray. It might sound cheesy or awkward but seriously. Pray. Don't pray for what you want. Just talk to Jesus about what you're going through - that's prayer. Talk to Him as if He's your best friend or the friend you've always wanted. Keep doing that and I know He will give you something to hope for even if it's not the thing you wanted or expected and in that you will learn as I have that to keep going first requires accept things aren't what we want but that doesn't mean it can't still be good.

If Jesus is real how is he letting the world destroy itself and allow us all to get into such misery that we need to escape from

 

[golaxation]

You seem stronger than me. I gave up on praying long ago but maybe I should try again there really is nothing to lose I can't accept things they wat them are cause life could be so much better. CTB seems like the best option but maybe I'll find something better I hope you do too.

There's nothing to lose in praying literally nothing. It hurts no one. The important thing is that it is a dialogue between you and Jesus. Let it be that.Once you've talked, take time to wait in silence and listen as well.

If Jesus is real how is he letting the world destroy itself and allow us all to get into such misery that we need to escape from

Well I will give you two answers but I just want you to know I'm not trying to convince you of anything or force anything on you. I'm only telling you the truth:

1. God gave man free will. He loves mankind enough to let us make decisions, bad ones and good ones. These decisions are ripple effects. They impact everyone to varying degrees. The misery we are in is a result of the decisions of our own freedom.

2. If Jesus is real, why not talk to Him? If Jesus isn't real, what's the harm in still trying to talk to Him? Either way the only thing you may have "wasted" is some time and if you're already at your breaking point then is that time really so valuable that it can't be used to at least try and talk to Him?

 

[nozomu]

We are here for you no matter what. I genuinely hope what you need pulls through for you. I really mean that. No one should have to go before they've lived the full life they desire in their heart.