Method Update: on how its going

[LonelyStarrySky]

I am done I have no hope anymore, I am killing myself tommorow, I will be cutting the 10m rope into 2x5meter ones and tie both of them and attempt full suspension as one commenter suggested on my previous post where I both the rope, thank you for the idea btw, I hope it works out for me. I will also use a scarf around my neck to make it more comfortable for me once I hang myself and I hope it lets me go out in peace.

As for details, I have bought a metal box with a lock, similar to a safe, that I will put my phone, and my hard drives, and pull out my SSD from my PC and keep them inside the box locked. This is to erase all digital footprint from getting accessed by my pesky family. I will bury this box inside the forest and cover it with some dirt and leaves so it doesn't get discovered.

As for the place, you could have guessed it was the forest, I will find a tree that will be my sancuary for when I pass on. It will be painfull I assume I tried already and my head felt like it was exploding but its not like this feels any better than that to be real, this is constant agony and pain, I am feeling even as of writing this article. There might be more posts after this, if rain falls I might not attempt to do it, or if I am seriosly tired from lack of sleep I might not attempt to go since I would not be able to travel to that forest.

I just find it peacefull to be in that forest, I might not be found for some time, meaning my body can properly degrade and I would find peace if I am succsessfull.

 

[Quiet_Observer]

I hope you find some peace wherever you are when this is all over

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best in your plans, I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

 

[rozeske]

I wish you luck, I hope you will soon be free of your suffering

 

[donsie]

I am done I have no hope anymore, I am killing myself tommorow, I will be cutting the 10m rope into 2x5meter ones and tie both of them and attempt full suspension as one commenter suggested on my previous post where I both the rope, thank you for the idea btw, I hope it works out for me. I will also use a scarf around my neck to make it more comfortable for me once I hang myself and I hope it lets me go out in peace.

As for details, I have bought a metal box with a lock, similar to a safe, that I will put my phone, and my hard drives, and pull out my SSD from my PC and keep them inside the box locked. This is to erase all digital footprint from getting accessed by my pesky family. I will bury this box inside the forest and cover it with some dirt and leaves so it doesn't get discovered.

As for the place, you could have guessed it was the forest, I will find a tree that will be my sancuary for when I pass on. It will be painfull I assume I tried already and my head felt like it was exploding but its not like this feels any better than that to be real, this is constant agony and pain, I am feeling even as of writing this article. There might be more posts after this, if rain falls I might not attempt to do it, or if I am seriosly tired from lack of sleep I might not attempt to go since I would not be able to travel to that forest.

I just find it peacefull to be in that forest, I might not be found for some time, meaning my body can properly degrade and I would find peace if I am succsessfull.

I hope you find peace a forest sounds beautiful!

 

[Dliena]

I'm very sorry life has screwed you up. Eternal peace to you.

 

[LonelyStarrySky]

I hope it won't be too painful as I too may have to use full suspension. Very sorry its come to this and whatever your final wish is I hope it comes true life or death.

yeah I am trying it, so I might have better chances of succeding, although if I find no place for it, I will have to use partial suspension, I just hope my idea with cutting the rope won't destroy the rope or something like that,

 

[day]

Hope you manage to find peace soon OP. Sorry you've suffered for so long.

 

[Princess_Kitty]

I wish you the best of luck and peace. A forest CTB is definitely peaceful imo. You picked a great location. Farewell!

 

[lissa]

I hope you find peace

 

[Redacted24]

Sounds like you've prepared carefully and well. I can't think of a more peaceful and appropriate place to return to nature and find peace than the forest. We'll miss you here, of course, but are happy you'll find the relief you've sought.
Wishing you a speedy, comfortable journey.

 

[LonelyStarrySky]

Update: in the current state, I don't think I have the energy to go outside at all, due to my extreme emotional distress I had my body temperature rise up and I just felt so cold and couldn't even leave the bed, not to mention my exhaustion from undersleeping, since recently I have been pulling allnighers, even if I try my best to fall asleep the pain kept me awake and I couldn't sleep at night, while feeling absolutely tired during the day. I thought I should do it today, but the lack of motivation to leave the house is making it harder than expected. I don't know why I am like this now, I didn't act like this before. I almost did it once while "practicing" in my room, although I didn't want to be found like this and I need to have the motivation to take the effort to ensure its all done properly. Although the plan is pretty much set up. I will still try to motivate myself to go, altough I am also exhausted from lack of eating, since I just couldn't eat anymore.

 

[rozeske]

Update: in the current state, I don't think I have the energy to go outside at all, due to my extreme emotional distress I had my body temperature rise up and I just felt so cold and couldn't even leave the bed, not to mention my exhaustion from undersleeping, since recently I have been pulling allnighers, even if I try my best to fall asleep the pain kept me awake and I couldn't sleep at night, while feeling absolutely tired during the day. I thought I should do it today, but the lack of motivation to leave the house is making it harder than expected. I don't know why I am like this now, I didn't act like this before. I almost did it once while "practicing" in my room, although I didn't want to be found like this and I need to have the motivation to take the effort to ensure its all done properly. Although the plan is pretty much set up. I will still try to motivate myself to go, altough I am also exhausted from lack of eating, since I just couldn't eat anymore.

Am sorry It's an awful feeling to be in but don't be so hard on your self this is not an easy thing to do. It's your SI that is giving you all those sudden illnesses. Take your time, rest well and try to eat. Don't be frustrated, things will happen when they happen. Wish you luck

 

[Chelsea Leng]

change to a better method to CTB