Venting University failure

[Pallf]

Hi all

Almost every night around this time I start experience old memories of mine. The most frequent of these memories were of University.
Ah University, now that was a fun year. I made friends (possibly) and got to live on my own for the first time. I became a nervous wreck however. Had a roommate who refused to turn off her very bright lamp at night, so I didn't get sleep for a long time. I had a breakdown and just gave up on classes for a week yada yada yada. Basically I'm dumb and I have mental issues.
I met a nice woman at my University and she said to me that it wasn't a mistake that I was admitted, but I failed out anyway so that was a huge lie.
For those that are wondering why I didn't ask my roommate to turn off her lamp, it's because she left the room all night and I'm not supposed to touch my roommate's stuff.
Anyway, this is a bad vent and I'm sorry for the unfortunate schmucks that actually read the dreck. This story is true but it's bad.
So yeah, University failure. My confidence is shot, I've got no self esteem and I've got student loans to pay back soon. I'm an utter failure and I'm finally realizing it.

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

I dragged my ass through uni. Did well the first two years, then third and final I just lost interest. Failed a few classes that I just had zero drive to make an effort in. Got a 2:1 by having my grades upped with medical notes that basically said I was a mess and probably capable of better. Education isn't the end of the world - I'm now in a job where I'm bottom of the food chain, but people younger than me who didn't do uni and did apprenticeships instead have moved up to higher paid positions. My piece of paper doesn't mean that much in the real world.

Hugs x

 

[Sayo]

I'll never finish the education I need in my field because I'm too sick to study full time and have been held back continuously by illness. I entered university at 16 and did nothing at first because of depression, so it is my fault too.

Something kind of similar happened to me. I was happy in university and doing a lot better, but they kept throwing parties next door, parties of about 50 people until 5 AM. I couldn't sleep and started having seizures. I politely requested that they keep it a bit quieter (seriously), and was threatened by other students, and told by them that if I couldn't deal with the noise, I needed to leave. I ended up admitted and one time could only avoid it because I promised I'd go stay with a relative a few hours away. I repeatedly spoke to the school, security, etc., nothing changed except a curfew was enforced for a day or two (which got me harassed and some property damage by some drunken guys), so I had to move out. I can't afford to live near school now.

They cover up all the housing problems there like unsanitary dorms left with mold for six months.

I hate university but I'm not really good at anything except academia.

 

[Miss clefable]

I'll never finish the education I need in my field because I'm too sick to study full time and have been held back continuously by illness. I entered university at 16 and did nothing at first because of depression, so it is my fault too.

Something kind of similar happened to me. I was happy in university and doing a lot better, but they kept throwing parties next door, parties of about 50 people until 5 AM. I couldn't sleep and started having seizures. I politely requested that they keep it a bit quieter (seriously), and was threatened by other students, and told by them that if I couldn't deal with the noise, I needed to leave. I ended up admitted and one time could only avoid it because I promised I'd go stay with a relative a few hours away. I repeatedly spoke to the school, security, etc., nothing changed except a curfew was enforced for a day or two (which got me harassed and some property damage by some drunken guys), so I had to move out. I can't afford to live near school now.

They cover up all the housing problems there like unsanitary dorms left with mold for six months.

I hate university but I'm not really good at anything except academia.

Wtf people have no respect hugs :(

 

[Sayo]

Wtf people have no respect hugs :(

Yeah they don't and I guess at that age they are just sort of entitled and oblivious of others (wilfully), but they went waaaay too far and my school wasn't there for me :/ Thank you. *hugs*

 

[throwaway777]

i'm on my second year … and i dont attend the lessons because i'm so anxious … at home i cant do anything but hating myself for being a failure and lying about my exams… idk everything seems so worthless … why should i study if i'm going to kill my self ? … i cant concentrate.. i feel without a mind … everything around me goes fast but myself … i feel in slowmotion … i feel a nonsense … i dont even know why i am writing this … sorry );

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

Hi all

Almost every night around this time I start experience old memories of mine. The most frequent of these memories were of University.
Ah University, now that was a fun year. I made friends (possibly) and got to live on my own for the first time. I became a nervous wreck however. Had a roommate who refused to turn off her very bright lamp at night, so I didn't get sleep for a long time. I had a breakdown and just gave up on classes for a week yada yada yada. Basically I'm dumb and I have mental issues.
I met a nice woman at my University and she said to me that it wasn't a mistake that I was admitted, but I failed out anyway so that was a huge lie.
For those that are wondering why I didn't ask my roommate to turn off her lamp, it's because she left the room all night and I'm not supposed to touch my roommate's stuff.
Anyway, this is a bad vent and I'm sorry for the unfortunate schmucks that actually read the dreck. This story is true but it's bad.
So yeah, University failure. My confidence is shot, I've got no self esteem and I've got student loans to pay back soon. I'm an utter failure and I'm finally realizing it.

I'm 55

Way way back .... I went to Uni to just get away from home.

Raised in a strictly controlling house ( what is unconditional love ? ), I'd developed anxiety , depression ,
( I typed house not home , thanks Freud )
I wandered around campus between classes having anxiety attacks.

I was too ashamed to see a counselor .... crazy .

( I've written this anecdote so many times I should store it and c and p )

Any way .... I didn't begin to address my issues until years later .

Got into booze .... that'll calm me down .... alcoholism for the following 30 years .

You've got issues , you're not stupid for failing .

but I totally understand your sense of hopelessness , and you have my sympathy .
the pain of missing the mark is very painful.
I felt I had been kicked out of the club.
Well , I had , but the people in the club had no idea as to the ferocious goings on inside my mind.
It was years until I started to 'own' that and begin to deal with it .

Basically I'm on this board because I'm still dealing with issues .
But thats because of self medication becoming addiction ...
I'm sure if I skipped that bit ( ha ha ) .... things could have turned around way earlier .


I jumped into a trade / craft area ... it basically fascilitated my inner ruminations , because it was hands on with not much mind work...
but it kept some kind of ball rolling .

 

[onewayroad]

Hi all

Almost every night around this time I start experience old memories of mine. The most frequent of these memories were of University.
Ah University, now that was a fun year. I made friends (possibly) and got to live on my own for the first time. I became a nervous wreck however. Had a roommate who refused to turn off her very bright lamp at night, so I didn't get sleep for a long time. I had a breakdown and just gave up on classes for a week yada yada yada. Basically I'm dumb and I have mental issues.
I met a nice woman at my University and she said to me that it wasn't a mistake that I was admitted, but I failed out anyway so that was a huge lie.
For those that are wondering why I didn't ask my roommate to turn off her lamp, it's because she left the room all night and I'm not supposed to touch my roommate's stuff.
Anyway, this is a bad vent and I'm sorry for the unfortunate schmucks that actually read the dreck. This story is true but it's bad.
So yeah, University failure. My confidence is shot, I've got no self esteem and I've got student loans to pay back soon. I'm an utter failure and I'm finally realizing it.

I dragged my ass through uni. Did well the first two years, then third and final I just lost interest. Failed a few classes that I just had zero drive to make an effort in. Got a 2:1 by having my grades upped with medical notes that basically said I was a mess and probably capable of better. Education isn't the end of the world - I'm now in a job where I'm bottom of the food chain, but people younger than me who didn't do uni and did apprenticeships instead have moved up to higher paid positions. My piece of paper doesn't mean that much in the real world.

Hugs x

I was going to say something similar. I have a bachelor of science and a master of science majoring in neuroscience and I've been unemployed about eight months, and even if I was working I'd still be making preparations to kill myself. My mental health problems aren't any better now that I understand them, and having degrees has made it harder to get a job, not easier. I feel like my life would be the same without it.

But, I also learnt in psychology that people regret the things they didn't do, not the things they mistakenly did do. I guess we imagine this alternative life if only we'd done "X". But that's pretty much a load of bullshit in my opinion, your life is what it is, and you'll never know how much better or worse it would be if you'd done something differently. Probably not that different in most cases.

 

[Trashcan]

*hugs*

You're not alone. If it helps you feel better, I was put on academic probation twice...

 

[Pallf]

Just noticed the grammar mistakes I made in my post. I should not attempt writing at three in the morning.

 

[cap]

I was studying psychology at the best university of my country. Had to leave it due to mental problems. Now I am studying at a shitty college, living with my parents. Everyday I feel bad for having to leave my old uni but there is nothing I can do now. Feel you.