Venting Uninspired

[Daxter_87]

You might as well do something else, because this post is crap. My fried, worn out brain just can't come up with anything. Nothing is of interest to me, I just don't care about a damn thing. Too tired to care.

People always are having conversations about stuff, and I just find it so uninteresting and boring. I simply do not care about any of it at all. Everything is fucking boring and useless.

And the worst part is that you can't talk about any of this openly with "normal" people, because they will just resort to their usual ways, which basically are: dismissing, invalidating, blaming and shaming. And, if they don't do any of those, they will just try to brainwash you to see the "excitement" in things. As if you were somehow wrong. As if simply finding it all unappealing was some kind of illness that needs to be fixed.

I believe it's actually the opposite. I believe that the less desires you have, the better. I wish I could reach a 100% desireless state, but apparently that's not possible for us human monkeys.

The wisest thing to desire is non-existence. It really is. If someone has reached that state, it does not mean that they are depressed, or whatever else. It simply means that they've realized that there's nothing to be gained from existence and that the wisest course of action is to put yourself on the safe side.

 

[Darkover]

don't you think it's boring how people talk
Making smart with their words again, well, I'm bored
lip smacking to talk is the worst kind of communication
it's terrible slow, at least AI will have the ability to communicate a whole book in just a second and remember it word for word

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly cannot stand how people treat hating existence as being something irrational or is a result of an mental illness or whatever, that point of view is so insensitive and ignorant. Existing certainly is futile, pointless, meaningless and tedious, I've always wished for non-existence and I think it makes a lot of sense wishing for that as a result of being aware of the fact that existence is just an unnecessary harm. I could personally never understand those who glorify existence so much, I don't get how existence is supposedly appealing, to me it could never be worth enduring.

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

Exactly. Fuck life and its tedium. People who derive some "meaning" out of life are deluded. It's their programming convincing them that they have some purpose even though they are like ants. Miniscule and insignificant, doing nothing but following their arbitrary programming. Not all humans are like that. Some of us have evolved past that, to see through nature's trickery, past the delusions, to realise that everything requires work, nothing is inherently interesting, or beautiful, or fun, they're arbitrary experiences, meaningless, and not shared by everyone. The only thing in common is suffering. But some people, most people, don't experience enough of it to realise that when it dominates one's existence, existence is no longer desirable. It has negative value. Not existing is better than mostly suffering.

I have little interest in anything. When I see people laughing or smiling I recoil, it's hard to imagine how such trivial experiences as they have can counter suffering one experiences. People laugh at the most pathetic jokes. They're uplifted by seeing random things, apparently beautiful. How can the mere appearance of something counter the very real pain and emotional suffering one goes through? How do people get joy jabbering about nonsense with other people? I find it extremely hard to find such things engaging. All I feel mostly is the crushing weight on my soul of the burden that is existence. Energy only seems to flow one way. Out. Life is just hard work with fuckk all returns. It's miserable. It's not worth it at all. Fuck people who decide to have kids. They're delusional

 

[Daxter_87]

Exactly. Fuck life and its tedium. People who derive some "meaning" out of life are deluded. It's their programming convincing them that they have some purpose even though they are like ants. Miniscule and insignificant, doing nothing but following their arbitrary programming. Not all humans are like that. Some of us have evolved past that, to see through nature's trickery, past the delusions, to realise that everything requires work, nothing is inherently interesting, or beautiful, or fun, they're arbitrary experiences, meaningless, and not shared by everyone. The only thing in common is suffering. But some people, most people, don't experience enough of it to realise that when it dominates one's existence, existence is no longer desirable. It has negative value. Not existing is better than mostly suffering.

I have little interest in anything. When I see people laughing or smiling I recoil, it's hard to imagine how such trivial experiences as they have can counter suffering one experiences. People laugh at the most pathetic jokes. They're uplifted by seeing random things, apparently beautiful. How can the mere appearance of something counter the very real pain and emotional suffering one goes through? How do people get joy jabbering about nonsense with other people? I find it extremely hard to find such things engaging. All I feel mostly is the crushing weight on my soul of the burden that is existence. Energy only seems to flow one way. Out. Life is just hard work with fuckk all returns. It's miserable. It's not worth it at all. Fuck people who decide to have kids. They're delusional

I totally agree. One problem that I have, however, is that I suffer from OCD, and when the fucker makes me obsess about something, it's the only thing that exists in the world. A few years ago I got obsessed with the theory of eternal recurrence, and I just couldn't get it out of my head; it was the only thing I could think about. I was terrified of the possibility that there might not be any escape, that the universe simply resets itself and all this carnage starts all over again.

And now... well, now I'm obsessed with being delusional. Literally. Like, I'm paranoid that pro-lifers have brainwashed me and now I'm (sort of) one of them. The whole thing feels surreal, you can't even know what you are. OCD is a bitch, it can make you doubt literally anything. Or perhaps it's true that I'm delusional, just like it might be true that the universe resets itself. Who knows...

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

I totally agree. One problem that I have, however, is that I suffer from OCD, and when the fucker makes me obsess about something, it's the only thing that exists in the world. A few years ago I got obsessed with the theory of eternal recurrence, and I just couldn't get it out of my head; it was the only thing I could think about. I was terrified of the possibility that there might not be any escape, that the universe simply resets itself and all this carnage starts all over again.

And now... well, now I'm obsessed with being delusional. Literally. Like, I'm paranoid that pro-lifers have brainwashed me and now I'm (sort of) one of them. The whole thing feels surreal, you can't even know what you are. OCD is a bitch, it can make you doubt literally anything. Or perhaps it's true that I'm delusional, just like it might be true that the universe resets itself. Who knows...

That sounds tough. I'm glad I don't have OCD on top of everything else. Do you know any grounding techniques? There must be some tricks for resetting OCD thoughts. Maybe you just need to make sure you talk to people about it.

Don't worry about being pro-life, I am pretty sure you probably have a fairly balanced view. On the plus side, brainwashing isn't really possible. So don't worry about that.

I'm also glad that it's incredibly unlikely that there is any such thing as reincarnation. Science incredibly strongly points to the likelihood that reincarnation is a myth. We just love once, then that's it. We disappear into nothingness. Like before we were born. Peacefulness. I'm looking forward to it. Still a long way to go though, unfortunately

 

[MrDarkness]

Yeah it sucks how other people need to shit on others cause it doesn't fit the social norms, it's always going to be like that. I also wish I could remove all my desires, I always suggest to find interest in something, idc what it is tbh, the human mind tends to be at peace when doing something. But yeah overall humanity is shit

 

[L'homme Triste]

This is hitting me hard after having dedicated my life to a creative field. When everyone and everything is so uninspiring and grey, there's just no reason to create. A lot of people can find inspiration in that feeling / state of being itself, but I can't go there; futility takes over and I shut down.

 

[Daxter_87]

That sounds tough. I'm glad I don't have OCD on top of everything else. Do you know any grounding techniques? There must be some tricks for resetting OCD thoughts. Maybe you just need to make sure you talk to people about it.

Don't worry about being pro-life, I am pretty sure you probably have a fairly balanced view. On the plus side, brainwashing isn't really possible. So don't worry about that.

I'm also glad that it's incredibly unlikely that there is any such thing as reincarnation. Science incredibly strongly points to the likelihood that reincarnation is a myth. We just love once, then that's it. We disappear into nothingness. Like before we were born. Peacefulness. I'm looking forward to it. Still a long way to go though, unfortunately

If it's really just OCD and I'm not as delusional as I think, the only solution is to not think about it. Literally. The more you ruminate about it, the more tangled the mess gets.

However, it might be possible that it's not just my OCD and there's some truth to it. You say that brainwashing isn't possible, but I disagree. Not only it's possible, it is literally happening to everyone on a daily basis. Every time a person comes to you, for example, to encourage you to do an activity, they are trying to ingraine that desire into your brain.

Brainwashing is the very reason why we keep our society alive. If nobody encouraged anyone to have children, I'm pretty sure the birth rate would drop drastically. Many people don't even want to have children, they are just told by absolutely everyone around them to do it. Because it's "beautiful". Because it's a "gift". Because it will bring you joy. Or whatever other bullshit they come up with.