• If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
  • Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt
    ETH: 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
L

LozirM

New Member
Feb 26, 2025
1
Please excuse my English as it's not my main language. Fortunately, modern web translators are advanced enough to automatically translate entire sites, giving me access to a wealth of opinions and information I've wanted to explore for a long time. This includes topics like CTB.


To get to the point, this post in the recovery sector aims to address what I consider one of the first rungs in the ladder of suicidal ideation: UNEMPLOYMENT.


I believe suicidal motivation functions similarly to Maslow's pyramid, but with different components. It's difficult to fully articulate as the concept isn't completely formed in my mind yet. Looking at the original pyramid, we see it's based on fundamental needs (physiological requirements, shelter, security), followed by psychological needs, and finally self-actualization. This is a simplified description for those familiar with the theory, as each category contains many more elements. If you're unfamiliar with the subject, you can read about it on Wikipedia.


Why mention this? Because while I acknowledge that all causes leading to CTB are valid, I believe some erode one's will to live more quickly than others. That's why I want to use this thread to gather insights, stories, and ideas about solving this problem. My personal journey with mental health and suicide attempts has been a roller coaster—my first attempt was in 2010. I've fallen into depression and risen from failures many times over the years, always with suicidal thoughts lurking in the shadows like a persistent buzz that sometimes becomes a deafening alarm. Currently, I've managed to reframe many ideas and emotions that damaged my mental health. However, due to past poor choices and emotional struggles, I've been unemployed for 14 months .:notsure:


I have a plan to move forward with my life in a more stoic and resilient way, but unemployment remains like a painful hemorrhoid I can't get rid of, causing me to continue contemplating CTB.


I would appreciate hearing your recommendations, stories, failures, and ideas. I believe focusing on the issue of unemployment in this thread could greatly help many people.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: 995. and Saponification
SoulCage

SoulCage

Student
Dec 28, 2023
118
I know you posted this in the recovery section, so I feel bad when I tell you that I don't have any ideas or recommendations for this topic. Unemployment sucks, but I have been trying out different jobs and I personally hate having a job even more. I have anxiety and panic attacks just thinking about returning to the grind. Society doesn't really care that you are unwell during employment, because most people don't like their job and you are just seen as lazy and/or weak. Everyone just hopes that your survival instinct is strong enough so you have to work.
But personally, I'd rather CTB than going back to a job that makes my life even harder to endure than unemployment
I am in a fortunate position that my basic needs (food, shelter, some luxuries) are currently covered, because I have a lucky relationship with someone who cares about me. I bonded with this person while I was still strong and hopeful. Now we live in symbiosis, I do house work and he works a job for money. This situation has no future, especially when he decides he had enough of this one sided responsibility. Or what happens if he dies before me (accident, sickness)? Then I have no securities anymore.
I just live in the now and don't care about the future. I have therapy and medication, showing that I want to get better, but I don't believe I can be fixed. I think it's pointless. The past has shown me that I am not good/strong enough for the rules of survival in our civilization. Something went wrong in my development or maybe my genetics are too messed up. Either way, I am alive until my partner decides he wants a life without a broken person.
Sorry that I can't share anything that helps. My only hope is that any readers of my posts find comfort in the fact that they are not alone with having the thoughts of defeat.
 
995.

995.

Member
Dec 30, 2024
27
I agree and relate.

Chronic deprivation of these basic needs escalates our emotional pain and hopelessness. It also causes immediate crisis situations - in my case, countless part-time job rejections has made me resort to amateur escorting to support my household, whilst I've been trying to balance college. How can I have any self-respect or esteem after that? How can I self-actualise when my quality of life is so chaotic - I feel constantly trapped, powerless, so worthless, ashamed and purposeless - it's exhausting to say the least.

I'd say my household's lack of financial security, and my inability to get a basic job is why I am where I am now/the main reason I don't want to live anymore.
 

Similar threads

painter-of-sorts
Replies
3
Views
142
Suicide Discussion
zappynomore
Z
D
Replies
7
Views
275
Suicide Discussion
drearylove
D
sancta-simplicitas
Replies
10
Views
205
Suicide Discussion
Pon
Pon
quietism
Replies
1
Views
96
Recovery
foggyskies_
foggyskies_
ItsAllSoTiresome
Replies
8
Views
286
Suicide Discussion
LaVieEnRose
LaVieEnRose