Understanding impact of CTB on pets

[benetar_apologist]

I've almost made up my mind to CTB in the medium-term (thinking about 4 years when I turn 30), but the only thing holding me back is that I have a dog, and I hold myself responsible for his welfare. He's really the only innocent being in my life, and ultimately the only one that I can't bring myself to abandon if I can't be sure of his welfare. Luckily I have family that will take care of him even after I'm gone, because they consider him part of the family at this point. Money won't be an issue either, I have about 300k saved up (probably will be about 500-600k by the time I CTB) that I plan to leave to my parents to cover expenses related to my death, expenses related to my dog, and whatever remains would serve as recompense for my college tuition and the money spent raising me (i.e. they can use it during their retirement).

However, I'm concerned that my CTB might have some long term emotional impact on my dog. I think I'd be comfortable going through with it if I knew he'd be sad for a couple months and then move on, but if it's gonna cause some long-term depression in him then I may just wait until he passes before I CTB. But that'll be another 10-13 years going by the typical lifespan of his breed, so I'd prefer not to wait that long unless I have to.

Anyone have any experience with how pets respond to the death of their owners? He knows my family very well so it wouldn't be as much of a stressful even as being rehomed entirely, but I have to be sure.

 

[Adûnâi]

I wish I had any idea. My only thought is too edgy to say out loud.

A far less edgy thought would be a suicide pact with the doggo - with the caveat that animals cannot consent?

Maybe let the doggo spend gradually more time with their future family?

Or, you know how people do it - ghost you to protect you from them!

 

[BlazingBob]

My dogs are really old and have health problems. They would be neglected if I were to ctb so I just have to wait until they go which shouldn't be too much longer. It's hard waiting because my life royally sucks and is unbearable due mainly to chronic illness.

 

[sukuna]

I have one cat, ive had her since i was like 16 or something like that and I love her to death but at the end of the day its not like a dog, i dont think cats are super intelligent in like consciously knowing i am gone, shes equally as attached to me as she is attached to the other people that live in our house, as long as she is fed and looked after i'm gone I wouldn't have any problems with that and I don't think she would have the capacity to sense that I am gone. a pet isnt holding me back

 

[CemeteryPet]

I'm pretty much in the same boat. Except the money part. My dog is only 5 and I'm ashamed to say I wish I would've died sooner before we got attached to each other. I'm ashamed to even think that if something were to happen to her it'd make it 10000 times easier on me to CTB. It's a terrible thought. But I believe she'll be okay. She'll adapt. I've seen her experience loss before and it didn't affect her long term. She'll move on, just like people move on after a loss. Most of them, anyway.

Now, I can't know how your dog will react to your loss. Every dog is different. The conclusion I got to is if I really need to get outta here, not in 10 years, as soon as possible, I have to make sacrifices. I have to be selfish. Nothing can stop me. But that's just me. Maybe your/my dog will be better off with someone who can give them 1000%.

 

[benetar_apologist]

I'm pretty much in the same boat. Except the money part. My dog is only 5 and I'm ashamed to say I wish I would've died sooner before we got attached to each other. I'm ashamed to even think that if something were to happen to her it'd make it 10000 times easier on me to CTB. It's a terrible thought. But I believe she'll be okay. She'll adapt. I've seen her experience loss before and it didn't affect her long term. She'll move on, just like people move on after a loss. Most of them, anyway.

Now, I can't know how your dog will react to your loss. Every dog is different. The conclusion I got to is if I really need to get outta here, not in 10 years, as soon as possible, I have to make sacrifices. I have to be selfish. Nothing can stop me. But that's just me. Maybe your/my dog will be better off with someone who can give them 1000%.

I know what you mean. I feel really conflicted about my decision to get my dog, I'd never had a pet before and I didn't really understand some of the implications. He's quite literally the best thing in my life, but I wish I'd known how emotionally developed dogs are before I got into this. If it weren't for him I'd probably CTB right now honestly.

And yeah, I agree ultimately. I gave myself 4 years because I think that's all I have left in me before I need to check out. At that point I'll really be done, and my dog will probably be much better off with my family anyway. My plan is to have my parents and sister watch him more and more so he gradually gets used to the idea of me not being around. But that has its own risks, I'm sure my family will start asking questions the more I do that...

Even when I go on longer trips with my friends he's only sad for the first day or so, but I've never been away from him for more than a week. But not sure how he'll tolerate me being gone forever.

 

[mortuarymary]

I've almost made up my mind to CTB in the medium-term (thinking about 4 years when I turn 30), but the only thing holding me back is that I have a dog, and I hold myself responsible for his welfare. He's really the only innocent being in my life, and ultimately the only one that I can't bring myself to abandon if I can't be sure of his welfare. Luckily I have family that will take care of him even after I'm gone, because they consider him part of the family at this point. Money won't be an issue either, I have about 300k saved up (probably will be about 500-600k by the time I CTB) that I plan to leave to my parents to cover expenses related to my death, expenses related to my dog, and whatever remains would serve as recompense for my college tuition and the money spent raising me (i.e. they can use it during their retirement).

However, I'm concerned that my CTB might have some long term emotional impact on my dog. I think I'd be comfortable going through with it if I knew he'd be sad for a couple months and then move on, but if it's gonna cause some long-term depression in him then I may just wait until he passes before I CTB. But that'll be another 10-13 years going by the typical lifespan of his breed, so I'd prefer not to wait that long unless I have to.

Anyone have any experience with how pets respond to the death of their owners? He knows my family very well so it wouldn't be as much of a stressful even as being rehomed entirely, but I have to be sure.

I've 3 dogs and I've made allowances just like you. When my ex husband died, our labradoodle was very upset. I had to get another dog so he would have company. That did help. I've a dog who turned 13 yesterday. He's got his sisters but we have a bond so tight. I think it wouldn't be long when he'd follow me. Dogs do get emotiona. They love and they will miss you xx

 

[benetar_apologist]

I've 3 dogs and I've made allowances just like you. When my ex husband died, our labradoodle was very upset. I had to get another dog so he would have company. That did help. I've a dog who turned 13 yesterday. He's got his sisters but we have a bond so tight. I think it wouldn't be long when he'd follow me. Dogs do get emotiona. They love and they will miss you xx

I'm sorry about your ex-husband and your labradoodle, I'm glad getting another dog helped him. That's definitely something I'm considering, he loves my family but I live alone with him in a tiny apartment so I'm his only person most of the time. And I raised him from 12 weeks old so this is basically the only life he's known. He seems to do well with my parents and sister (especially my sister) when I'm not around, though. But that's only for a few days at a time.

No worries if you'd rather not discuss it, but do you mind if I ask how long it took before your dog "realized" your ex husband wasn't coming back? I assume it was a different reaction than when he was just gone for a few days or something.

Would help me get a sense for how my dog might react, given that he's been really good in my absence in the past...

 

[mortuarymary]

I'm sorry about your ex-husband and your labradoodle, I'm glad getting another dog helped him. That's definitely something I'm considering, he loves my family but I live alone with him in a tiny apartment so I'm his only person most of the time. And I raised him from 12 weeks old so this is basically the only life he's known. He seems to do well with my parents and sister (especially my sister) when I'm not around, though. But that's only for a few days at a time.

No worries if you'd rather not discuss it, but do you mind if I ask how long it took before your dog "realized" your ex husband wasn't coming back? I assume it was a different reaction than when he was just gone for a few days or something.

Would help me get a sense for how my dog might react, given that he's been really good in my absence in the past...

Well he used to work away, so the dog always sulked when he was gone. I think after a week, he somehow realised something was up.
I've heard that some owners ask the new dogs companions to take them to the funeral home, just so they can see. Plus, they have this sixth sense that they've passed over.
Here to chat if you need to.

 

[Lavender Dreams]

It depends on the pet, I think. Some do get very depressed when their owners pass away, others not as much. I know one of my cats didn't take our dog passing away or me moving well, so it devastates me to think how he might react if I ctb.

Maybe you could test it by going on a holiday if possible and having your dog stay with the family for a a bit?

 

[mortuarymary]

It depends on the pet, I think. Some do get very depressed when their owners pass away, others not as much. I know one of my cats didn't take our dog passing away or me moving well, so it devastates me to think how he might react if I ctb.

Maybe you could test it by going on a holiday if possible and having your dog stay with the family for a a bit?

That's a great idea.

 

[iusedtobehappy]

About 2 years after my husband died, I was playing his last voicemail to me on my laptop and our kitty got up from the couch and started walking around the room looking for him. I had to pick him and comfort him. FWIW.

 

[benetar_apologist]

Well he used to work away, so the dog always sulked when he was gone. I think after a week, he somehow realised something was up.
I've heard that some owners ask the new dogs companions to take them to the funeral home, just so they can see. Plus, they have this sixth sense that they've passed over.
Here to chat if you need to.

It depends on the pet, I think. Some do get very depressed when their owners pass away, others not as much. I know one of my cats didn't take our dog passing away or me moving well, so it devastates me to think how he might react if I ctb.

Maybe you could test it by going on a holiday if possible and having your dog stay with the family for a a bit?

About 2 years after my husband died, I was playing his last voicemail to me on my laptop and our kitty got up from the couch and started walking around the room looking for him. I had to pick him and comfort him. FWIW.

Thanks everyone for your responses. After giving it some thought I've decided I won't end things until my dog goes first. He's very emotionally sensitive and I can't make him experience a loss that he can't even understand

 

[iusedtobehappy]

Thanks everyone for your responses. After giving it some thought I've decided I won't end things until my dog goes first. He's very emotionally sensitive and I can't make him experience a loss that he can't even understand

So happy to hear that! Love on that baby and let him love on you back. They are very healing

 

[mortuarymary]

Thanks everyone for your responses. After giving it some thought I've decided I won't end things until my dog goes first. He's very emotionally sensitive and I can't make him experience a loss that he can't even understand

I'm so very glad x

 

[Lavender Dreams]

Thanks everyone for your responses. After giving it some thought I've decided I won't end things until my dog goes first. He's very emotionally sensitive and I can't make him experience a loss that he can't even understand

Also very glad to see this. Sometimes when you can't do it for yourself anymore, you do it for others. Pets included. Wishing you the best of luck