Under which circumstances is it okay to break a promise?

[noname223]

It is not exactly the thing which is in the title but I have a similar question in mind.

When you give your computer to an IT expert what if he finds illegal or evil content? What if someone describes planning a murder or even a terror attack. Under which circumstances do they have to call the police? I am not really sure what the law says about it. And how the normal practice looks like.

Now in another context. Concerning friendships. I have 3 close friends two of them have current updates about my suicidality. When I almost bought SN they were quite scared. I am not sure whether they would keep the secret in case I have acute suicidality and plan to do it. I am not sure whether I will tell them all the details. I don't want that they have a guilty conscience that they did not stop me. On the other hand I think having someone to talk to can be relieving, maybe my last words can comfort them and they are really trustworthy. I sometimes have the feeling they are not aware how screwed up my situation is. I have the feeling they have kind of a bias about the evaluation of my life. On the other hand it might be usual that they cannot worry about me all the time. I think most of the things that happen to me currently are rather a facade. I cannot really escape the underlying problems that haunt me.

I don't like promises that much because I know how hard people can get hurt when I break them. Sometimes unexpected things happen and we reevaluate our views. When I know my friends rely on me I try not to disappoint them. Recently I accidentally spoilered one of my friends about a series. I apologized and promised I try to avoid it in the future. I take this quite serious and try not to break it. For friendships trust is quite essential. Especially when exchanging secrets or stuff like that.

 

[whatevs]

I think most of the things that happen to me currently are rather a facade. I cannot really escape the underlying problems that haunt me.

This is -- e x a c t l y -- how I have felt the last two years of my life, in which I managed to finish a programming course and got a job where my performace is mediocre at best due to chronic sleep problems and low-grade depression trying to evolve into a more lethal form.

My family thought these were steps to avoid suicide but more than anything they have felt like something to pass the time as doom (or illumination) approaches. Illumination in the hardcore form I seek would mean death to them either way, so let's just say doom. There's a certain feeling of being already gone that people in here must be familiar with, regardless of whether you have plans to kill yourself or not.

AS PER the question in your thread, I can't answer. Generally I would try to avoid breaking promises, as you said trust is the first thing that's needed in human relationships.