Venting Uncomfortable with living?

[dumblosergirl]

I feel gross in my own skin. I feel like I shouldn't be alive. I often think of a future and it makes me sad like I'm being forced to die but I'm not. I feel like I should die and I have to die. I don't know if that makes any sense. It feels wrong to breathe. It feels wrong to experience any joy. It feels wrong to be awake. Being asleep is where I'm most at peace. What's stopping me is fear of doing the act and leaving behind the people I really care about. I also can't even decide on the method between hanging and SN. It actually hurts to exist. It's painful. Gross. I can't stand this feeling.

 

[lostforever77]

I am so very sorry that you feel that way about your self, and there are no easy words that can solve that. I think some times we have a disconnection between our mental self and our physical self, and that can cause issues. Maybe even an outside force that has wispered in your ear one to many times about how worthless you are, I know how that feels, I really do. Shoot I have ptsd because of the one person that I love. But as stupid as this sounds I know its not the truth, its just a matter of how do you get that one fact past all of those terrible emotions.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly see sleeping as the best way to pass the time in my case as it's the closest to not existing. It must be dreadful what you are going through, existing really can be so burdensome and torturous, but anyway best wishes.