Uncomfortable leaving the house?

[837]

When I`m outside I count how long I'll have before I return. My room is the only place I feel like I belong. I feel so out of place outside. When there's a crowd of people I shy away from it. I feel trapped when im there. My favorite time is being my room at night when it's dark, right before I go to sleep. I feel i am used to it though.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

When I`m outside I count how long I'll have before I return. My room is the only place I feel like I belong. I feel so out of place outside. When there's a crowd of people I shy away from it. I feel trapped when im there. My favorite time is being my room at night when it's dark, right before I go to sleep. I feel i am used to it though.

You sound so so like me....

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

I do this too when I'm back to my hometown cause it's small and I happen to live near lots of people from my past so...
Let's just say going to the grocery store feels like a RPG horror game.

 

[kkatt]

When I`m outside I count how long I'll have before I return. My room is the only place I feel like I belong. I feel so out of place outside. When there's a crowd of people I shy away from it. I feel trapped when im there. My favorite time is being my room at night when it's dark, right before I go to sleep. I feel i am used to it though.

I'm 47 years old and still fel exactly like this. That's probably how I managed to last this long. Just by counting down time until next sleep or at least until I can lock my door and know there is nobody but me for the next x number of hours

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I haven't really left this house since I moved here at the end of August. This due to ill health, weakness and malnutrition.

Tomorrow I'm off to have a ct scan for my impacted bowel. If I didn't have the aforementioned condition I'd be bricking it!

 

[Moonicide]

I'm the same way... One time it was so bad I didn't leave my house for 5 years straight.
Now I only go out for doctor appointments / therapy.
Even then my hands will be shaking and people have to repeat themselves for me to follow the conversation. Other times I can barely breathe at all. Rock bottom for me was when I was shaking terribly that I was trying to reach for my medication to help calm myself down, and I couldn't even get pills in my mouth. Instead they fell to the floor due to how bad I was trembling. So, so, sad. So tired of living that way.

 

[End Piece]

Oh I have so much trouble leaving my house, even though I know it's good for me. I feel so much better when I am out and about, but it's also fucking cold here in Canuckistan.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

there's to many people out there, I get laughed at if I struggle to go to the supermarket, one person in an aisle and I will refuse to go down it, to much people is my reply, Not doing that.... apparently one person won't hurt, in my eyes one person is still one person to many!
I dont like outside, it's not safe out there

 

[kkatt]

I haven't really left this house since I moved here at the end of August. This due to ill health, weakness and malnutrition.

Tomorrow I'm off to have a ct scan for my impacted bowel. If I didn't have the aforementioned condition I'd be bricking it!

Good luck at the hospital.
I had an issue with my intestine (probably due to inactivity over a long period of time). But during those 6 months,I attended and discharged myself from hospital 4 times before being admitted for emergency surgery and a resection.
Advice is,just get it out the way. It is so horrible but it only gets worse

 

[Little Mook]

You're not alone OP

balloons" by Charles.
I saw too many faces today
faces like balloons.
at times I felt like
lifting the skin
and asking,
"anybody under there?"
there are medical terms for
fear of height
for
fear of
enclosed spaces.
there are medical terms for
any number of
maladies
so
there must be a medical term
for:
"too many people."
I've been stricken with
this malady
all my life:
there has always been
"too many people."
I saw too many faces
today, hundreds of
them
with eyes, ears, lips,
mouths, chins and so
forth
and
I've been alone
for several hours
now
and
I feel that I am
recovering.
which is the good part
but the problem
remains
that I know I'm going to
have to go out there
among them
again.

 

[Final Escape]

When I`m outside I count how long I'll have before I return. My room is the only place I feel like I belong. I feel so out of place outside. When there's a crowd of people I shy away from it. I feel trapped when im there. My favorite time is being my room at night when it's dark, right before I go to sleep. I feel i am used to it though.

You should try emdr therapy. There is now online virtual emdr. It could help with excessive anxiety so u can finally feel calm going places and to manage social anxiety. They do give money back and/or free trial period. I heard there might be an app now but u can only do it on tablet or laptop bc u need enough screen space to use the eye movement tool.

 

[ObsessiveCompulsive]

I only left my home twice in the past 2-3 weeks, room is my sanctuary.

 

[cowbain]

When it was at it's worse I didn't leave my house for a year. The only time I did leave was to go to the hospital, doctor appointments, or small outings. Midway it started getting so bad to the point where I couldn't leave because I would have a severe panic attack and projectile vomit.

 

[Sweet emotion]

God I'd kill to be able to leave my house. I have a severe pain condition and I've been isolated in it for over 14 years. Sound is extremely painful to me. So going out is out of the question. The only time I leave is when I have to go to the doctors office so I get very anxious because who just only wants to go out to see a doctor? Or the hospital. Or when I have to sit in my car somewhere because so done is doing lawn work. I'm in solitary confinement here. My home and my body are my prisons.

there's to many people out there, I get laughed at if I struggle to go to the supermarket, one person in an aisle and I will refuse to go down it, to much people is my reply, Not doing that.... apparently one person won't hurt, in my eyes one person is still one person to many!
I dont like outside, it's not safe out there

People actually laugh at you? That is disgusting.

 

[NitriteAnatomy]

Between snow and respiratory infection, I haven't stepped outside in around 3 months. Not like that's any different any other time of the year. I only go out to buy food and necessities. To leave the house, means having to associate or be around others. I am not fond of people and living in a small town, all they do is run their mouths behind your back 'because you're not like them.' Good, damn proud not to be like the rest of these plastic, fake ass people.

 

[Sweet emotion]

Between snow and respiratory infection, I haven't stepped outside in around 3 months. Not like that's any different any other time of the year. I only go out to buy food and necessities. To leave the house, means having to associate or be around others. I am not fond of people and living in a small town, all they do is run their mouths behind your back 'because you're not like them.' Good, damn proud not to be like the rest of these plastic, fake ass people.

I wish you lived in a nicer town because it's wonderful to be outside. It really takes your mind off of things and if you live where there is a lot of nature....even better. Unfortunately I live in the city.

Between snow and respiratory infection, I haven't stepped outside in around 3 months. Not like that's any different any other time of the year. I only go out to buy food and necessities. To leave the house, means having to associate or be around others. I am not fond of people and living in a small town, all they do is run their mouths behind your back 'because you're not like them.' Good, damn proud not to be like the rest of these plastic, fake ass people.

I wish you lived in a nicer town because it's wonderful to be outside. It really takes your mind off of things and if you live where there is a lot of nature....even better. Unfortunately I live in the city.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I feel even uncomfortable even moving in my house atm there is some man outside i live in a estate but obviously me being me im paranoid his out to get me like everyone...i try to not care but dam i hate going out i try to avoid it as much as possible!

 

[NitriteAnatomy]

I wish you lived in a nicer town because it's wonderful to be outside. It really takes your mind off of things and if you live where there is a lot of nature....even better. Unfortunately I live in the city.

I wish you lived in a nicer town because it's wonderful to be outside. It really takes your mind off of things and if you live where there is a lot of nature....even better. Unfortunately I live in the city.

I do live where there's a lot on nature. I grew up in Los Angeles, CA, but I hate living in a city, so decided to live in the country. Only downside is in a small town, people are bored as all hell, so their entertainment is usually gossip. So they see a 34yr old man that barely comes out of the house (except at night, when I feel more comfortable to go for a walk) they tend to point out how strange I am that I don't go to church, that I don't attend this or do that. Well, my choice and I'm an adult.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Good luck at the hospital.
I had an issue with my intestine (probably due to inactivity over a long period of time). But during those 6 months,I attended and discharged myself from hospital 4 times before being admitted for emergency surgery and a resection.
Advice is,just get it out the way. It is so horrible but it only gets worse

Thx. It went fine today. Not sure how the contrast dye will effect me.

I know I need a resection but they won't do that for me. Until it's an emergency. I've already been turned away from a&e once.

 

[837]

Thanks everyone for the replies, I don't think I'll have normal social interactions even after I go out, Im too nervous and can't make eye contact. I don't want to be rude or look awkward so i avoid it altogether, i know its not good but Im too scared to do it

 

[not4us]

I don't think I'll have normal social interactions even after I go out, Im too nervous and can't make eye contact.

i had been there, and yes you can have (almost) normal social life, it will take lots of energy and effort though... btw eye contact is the hardest

 

[kkatt]

Thx. It went fine today. Not sure how the contrast dye will effect me.

I know I need a resection but they won't do that for me. Until it's an emergency. I've already been turned away from a&e once.

Keep on at them if you need the resection because if they can manage it with a laparoscopy,it only takes a few weeks to heal. If it requires a laporectomy,it takes a good 6 months to heal

 

[Xaphous]

I know the feeling having gone up to months without leaving at all, you become dissillusioned and more confused. For me having no socialising on top just multiplies the hell feelings. I feel a constant state of trauma because I let years pass without rectifying the screaming problem of being lonely and not socialising. Don't let too much time pass, I was fine with it for a while then it can become a psychological trap.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Keep on at them if you need the resection because if they can manage it with a laparoscopy,it only takes a few weeks to heal. If it requires a laporectomy,it takes a good 6 months to heal

Unfortunately they have hands down refused elective surgery. I'll only get emergency surgery. And only then when I'm so I'll I can't call for an ambulance. See the problem here?
Catch 22.

 

[kkatt]

By the time I let them treat me,I was literally hours from death. You might want to make a complaint or seek a second opinion.
People really underestimate how dangerous it is

 

[Deleted member 1465]

By the time I let them treat me,I was literally hours from death. You might want to make a complaint or seek a second opinion.
People really underestimate how dangerous it is

Tried that. Second third fourth opinion. Gps, three gastros, two endocrinologists, a surgeon and the main consultant running a&e. And a partridge in a feck in pear tree! All said the same thing. That I don't really have a problem.
I haven't given up, I've just run out of places to look for help
Oh and sorry op, bit of a thread hijack there

 

[SoupSnakes]

Unfortunately they have hands down refused elective surgery. I'll only get emergency surgery. And only then when I'm so I'll I can't call for an ambulance. See the problem here?
Catch 22.

They definitely won't do this from A&E unless it's an emergency but you should have a surgical consultant who you see who you should be able to ask to book you in for elective. They can't flat out refuse you unless the hospital is refusing patients due to overcrowding which I don't believe any hospitals in the UK currently are!