Venting Unable to live or die for myself

[Exact Change]

My wife and I have worked for 35+ years. We saved, lived frugally, even inherited from family. Yet still have two adult children in the house that rely on us and one kid who is just so lost and unable to be independent. I hate to say it but I feel trapped by them. Not only do I need to live, but also keep working rather than retire.

So, I drink a lot, but I'm able to hide it. Every few days I'll be sick enough that I need to throw up and I can't really eat or drink anything. It's to the point where vomiting if my greatest relief.

the sooner I'm able to die, the better.

 

[Sleeper System]

You're going through something that's starting to become the norm in todays society.
Children aren't leaving the nest anymore like they once did.
There are many factors like the economy and just bad mental health in general.
I'm not making excuse for them. I just hope they realize how lucky they are to have you and appreciate you.
Some of us don't have parents we can rely on (Wheather they'd like it or not) and life is harder because of it.

The reality of the situation is that a family is a life time burden.
One day you WILL die and they will have to either sink or swim.
No one can control the outcome of every choice they make.
You could tell them all to fuck off and they could all become independant.
They could also be put into horrible circumstances and leave you with regret.

I feel for you my friend and I say drink. Drink as much as you want. Do whatever it takes to hang on.
No one lives without a vice or something quickening their death in some way or another. Fuck it.

 

[foxgirl]

I'm drinking right now. I wish it (or something) would just kill me. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.. life is so unbelievably cruel and difficult for us

 

[WatusiMuchacho]

My wife and I have worked for 35+ years. We saved, lived frugally, even inherited from family. Yet still have two adult children in the house that rely on us and one kid who is just so lost and unable to be independent. I hate to say it but I feel trapped by them. Not only do I need to live, but also keep working rather than retire.

So, I drink a lot, but I'm able to hide it. Every few days I'll be sick enough that I need to throw up and I can't really eat or drink anything. It's to the point where vomiting if my greatest relief.

the sooner I'm able to die, the better.

Wow. As a recovering alcoholic, I would like to suggest you try AA or Refuge Recovery or another program and get off alcohol the first thing you do. It is itself a depressant and tends to take one to dark places. Really. You probably have depression which CAN be addressed. I used Lexipro and Wellbutrin and they make a big difference. I dont know what to suggest about the kids, but I dont think killing YOURSELF is going to help them. Try kicking THEM out, rather than offing yourself. Sneak out and dont leave a forwarding address. Hey, you were going to do WORSE THAN THAT, so work on a less self-harmful strategy. It might be the kick in the pants they need. Just my thoughts. Good luck