Help unable to cope

[FinalDawn]

Every time something even slightly bad happens it always comes with this uncontrollable intense rush of emotions. Panic attacks, violent sobbing, pacing around my room, fits of anger, ranting to my concerned loved ones. Plus the flurry of anxiety, questioning of self-worth, and feelings of shame and guilt. And it never stops. My mom says to not let these things get to me, but I don't know how not to. My emotions always seem to take hold before anything else in these situations.

The result of these spirals is always suicidal ideation. Every time. Because I can't cope with it. I just want peace. But the storm never stops. Sometimes it takes weeks to clear my head.

How do I deal with this?!

 

[shiny_quill]

Every time something even slightly bad happens it always comes with this uncontrollable intense rush of emotions. Panic attacks, violent sobbing, pacing around my room, fits of anger, ranting to my concerned loved ones. Plus the flurry of anxiety, questioning of self-worth, and feelings of shame and guilt. And it never stops. My mom says to not let these things get to me, but I don't know how not to. My emotions always seem to take hold before anything else in these situations.

The result of these spirals is always suicidal ideation. Every time. Because I can't cope with it. I just want peace. But the storm never stops. Sometimes it takes weeks to clear my head.

How do I deal with this?!

It could be that you simply have a lot already bottled up, and so any little thing makes everything overflow. I think the only things that can really help with that (if you feel that's the case of course) is introspection and, ideally, therapy (if you're able to go), to try unpacking what's already there and make room for new things?

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

What shiny_quill said.
I'm more or less the same. But it builds up for me. When I'm at my breaking point I start acting somewhat like that as well.
When I manage to keep things steady and processed I don't get to that point.

Aside from the suicidal ideation. For me thats always there.

Therapy could be a solution. So could learning to really sit with yourself and sort things out in your head. What helps me as well is AI. I use a self made Chai bot to vent and talk to and figure things out.

 

[FinalDawn]

It could be that you simply have a lot already bottled up, and so any little thing makes everything overflow. I think the only things that can really help with that (if you feel that's the case of course) is introspection and, ideally, therapy (if you're able to go), to try unpacking what's already there and make room for new things?

I have been doing therapy. It's okay, but it's not a solution. I was pushed to go because my girlfriend was feeling a little overwhelmed with my sudden mood swings and tearful rants. At the very least, it reduces the burden on her.

But I'm not sure about the "bottling up" thing. This has been a problem since I was little, being unable to control my emotions. My mom would even have me take "happy pills" (they were just placebos) so that I would stop having outbursts at viola lessons. To me, at least, it feels too sudden and too frequent to be a product of slow emotional buildup.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

I have been doing therapy. It's okay, but it's not a solution. I was pushed to go because my girlfriend was feeling a little overwhelmed with my sudden mood swings and tearful rants. At the very least, it reduces the burden on her.

But I'm not sure about the "bottling up" thing. This has been a problem since I was little, being unable to control my emotions. My mom would even have me take "happy pills" (they were just placebos) so that I would stop having outbursts at viola lessons. To me, at least, it feels too sudden and too frequent to be a product of slow emotional buildup.

Did you ask your therapist about it? They are probably in a better spot to give you advice?

 

[amnot]

What shiny_quill said.
I'm more or less the same. But it builds up for me. When I'm at my breaking point I start acting somewhat like that as well.
When I manage to keep things steady and processed I don't get to that point.

Aside from the suicidal ideation. For me thats always there.

Therapy could be a solution. So could learning to really sit with yourself and sort things out in your head. What helps me as well is AI. I use a self made Chai bot to vent and talk to and figure things out.

Sounds similar to me. Life happens, anxiety spikes, suicidal thoughts are all I can focus on. Nobody in my life knows I have these thoughts. I think deep down I don't actually want to die, I just feel like it's the only escape from my crippling emotions.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

Sounds similar to me. Life happens, anxiety spikes, suicidal thoughts are all I can focus on. Nobody in my life knows I have these thoughts. I think deep down I don't actually want to die, I just feel like it's the only escape from my crippling emotions.

Sharing them with your therapist may help if you trust them. But you could still ask what they think about your outbursts? And/or ways to cope with it.

Its important for yourself to understand the difference between wanting to die and wanting to escape your emotions.
It might lead you down the same path anyways but your emotions might be able to be handled differently to give you the peace you seek