MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
If you dont wanna read intro-skip to Help bit-In Bold-Thanks
Intro: Hi, I am feeling very very trapped and not sure what to, I have been independent from a young age-but now in my late 30s I have ended up living at my dads house (with stepmum) for coming on to 9 months now, he left when i was young and has all but ignored me for most of my life, hes totally emotionally unavailable, cold and I believe has never really cared at all-as proved by the little he has done for me throughout my existence. I believe he felt backed into putting up due to my severe breakdown & suicide attempts, so they were contacted by my friends and doc. Anyway I am going on a tangent now- basically it is a horrible, toxic atmosphere- much worse this they found my sn- I being called selfish,emotionally manipulative, mentally ill (i havent been diagnosed with anything aside from situational depression) they shout at me for & are enraged by the fact I want to ctb- This does not stem from love-but from that whole moral obliagation thing and shouldering the burden of guilt if I were to do it. They said I have disrupted their lives, effected their work and almost causing them to have mental health issues - all the more reason for me to have kicked the bucket by now which I would have done if id had SN! I have too scared of other methods- as I have tried ALOT!!
Help: Basically I need to find short term accomodation- maybe 2weeks to month- long enough to re-order the stuff. Im struggling with very basic tasks at the moment and have severe breakdowns alot, strong panic attacks, agoraphobia, almost constant distess- so it would be V.had to go around to estate agents- and pretend to be normal to try and rent a flat-plus I dont have enough for a deposit etc, they wont be my guarantors, I have no references, Im out of work-on sick pay etc. I dont think I could cope in a hostel as I cant handle being around other people much - i will get very freaked out.
Has anyone ever done an air B and B for something like a month or just over? Or where else that doesnt require all the things renting an apartment would? I cant afford to live in a hotel for a month- and not sure many places would do that any way- as that it quite unusual.
I am totally trapped- I dont want to hangself- Ive tried too many times also- and for me it is too hard- its not because I have some hope left or must not really want to- I just cant - my SI in this way is to damn strong.
So i need: somewhere to live for approx month, cheapish, not too far from where I am now, they dont need too much paper work & they wont ask me too many questions.
SO SO TRAPPED :(
Intro: Hi, I am feeling very very trapped and not sure what to, I have been independent from a young age-but now in my late 30s I have ended up living at my dads house (with stepmum) for coming on to 9 months now, he left when i was young and has all but ignored me for most of my life, hes totally emotionally unavailable, cold and I believe has never really cared at all-as proved by the little he has done for me throughout my existence. I believe he felt backed into putting up due to my severe breakdown & suicide attempts, so they were contacted by my friends and doc. Anyway I am going on a tangent now- basically it is a horrible, toxic atmosphere- much worse this they found my sn- I being called selfish,emotionally manipulative, mentally ill (i havent been diagnosed with anything aside from situational depression) they shout at me for & are enraged by the fact I want to ctb- This does not stem from love-but from that whole moral obliagation thing and shouldering the burden of guilt if I were to do it. They said I have disrupted their lives, effected their work and almost causing them to have mental health issues - all the more reason for me to have kicked the bucket by now which I would have done if id had SN! I have too scared of other methods- as I have tried ALOT!!
Help: Basically I need to find short term accomodation- maybe 2weeks to month- long enough to re-order the stuff. Im struggling with very basic tasks at the moment and have severe breakdowns alot, strong panic attacks, agoraphobia, almost constant distess- so it would be V.had to go around to estate agents- and pretend to be normal to try and rent a flat-plus I dont have enough for a deposit etc, they wont be my guarantors, I have no references, Im out of work-on sick pay etc. I dont think I could cope in a hostel as I cant handle being around other people much - i will get very freaked out.
Has anyone ever done an air B and B for something like a month or just over? Or where else that doesnt require all the things renting an apartment would? I cant afford to live in a hotel for a month- and not sure many places would do that any way- as that it quite unusual.
I am totally trapped- I dont want to hangself- Ive tried too many times also- and for me it is too hard- its not because I have some hope left or must not really want to- I just cant - my SI in this way is to damn strong.
So i need: somewhere to live for approx month, cheapish, not too far from where I am now, they dont need too much paper work & they wont ask me too many questions.
SO SO TRAPPED :(
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