Uh oh.......

[chernobylmosqut]

So, for context, my biological mother left me when I was three months old. Never heard from her. Didn't even know what she looked like. Well, I found her on Facebook and reached out, not expecting her to respond, because why would she? I was mostly looking for closure before I ctb. But she did respond. She was very nice, all things considered, and she told me I have two younger brothers.

Before, I didn't have any familial obligations. Now this complicates everything. How can I reach out to her only only to leave her? How can my brothers find out they have a sister and immediately lose her? Would they even care? They're a whole separate family now, I'm sure they'll be fine without me. But now I'm starting to understand the familial guilt I see a lot on this site. Should I tell my mother my plans? Is it better she knows or she thinks I didn't want contact after that?

 

[Roseate]

I don't think it's a good idea to tell her since you know she just got back into your life. I think she would care cuz you're her daughter, you know? Unless she's a monster, some parts of her must care for you. I think she cares. But I guess it would depends on her reasons for leaving in the first place? But did she tell your siblings about you? I think they might care too, what do you plan on doing next in terms of whether you want to get to know them or just cutting contact? You said you wanted to get closure, did you get the closure after speaking with her?

 

[chernobylmosqut]

I don't think it's a good idea to tell her since you know she just got back into your life. I think she would care cuz you're her daughter, you know? Unless she's a monster, some parts of her must care for you. I think she cares. But I guess it would depends on her reasons for leaving in the first place? But did she tell your siblings about you? I think they might care too, what do you plan on doing next in terms of whether you want to get to know them or just cutting contact? You said you wanted to get closure, did you get the closure after speaking with her?

I got the closure I needed after speaking to her. Her reason for leaving was because she felt powerless against my father (relatable) and felt she couldn't provide for me. All things considered, of it's true, I completely understand and hold nothing against her.

I don't know if she told my siblings about me yet, and I don't really know what I want going forward. I'm sticking to my current plans, my date just got bumped up, so I think the best thing I can do for them is cut contact.