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StrugglingSienna

StrugglingSienna

Love you, mom. │ Expires May 31st
Mar 16, 2025
116
Type A:

Long time lurker, first time poster here.
Things have gone awry in a tremendous way:
The love of my life for sixty-seven years left me last May.
My son and daughter have both passed away.
I don't think my dog loves me anymore, and my cat never did.

That covers the family, so onto me,
I'm fat, and ugly, and unlikeable, there's no saving this.
Oh, and I have cancer, an osteosarcoma, and type II diabetes.
I haven't had a job in sixty-seven years, nor any education.
CTB today is my temptation,
I've only got one chance.
Because I have to see my parole officer and get drug tested tomorrow,
after a 7 week meth bender.
Also, I am transgender.

So, any shotgun suggestions?


Type B:

hi sasuuuu!!!! i just turned 18!
my life has been ruined so let me explain.
my gf of one week has left me for Chad,
and i got a b in one class so i'm pretty sad.
the worst part about it all? my dick!
only 6.5 inches (flaccid).

so, um, anyways, i have here with me
some nyquil, some tylenol, some benadryl
so can someone please make my week
and tell me which of these will provide
the quick, painless death that i seek?
 
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Halfhourdays

Halfhourdays

"Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt."
Mar 14, 2025
603
Transsexual people who hate puberty for a third category?
 
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Pathetic and Sad

Pathetic and Sad

Just going through life's motions
May 21, 2024
174
Thanks! Loved your piece :)
I would probably be a mix of both I guess.
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,400
Maybe this is just me but I find the second a bit mean spirited. We shouldn't make fun of someone's suffering no matter what when they are considering suicide even if you think their reason to die is irrational.
 
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Halfhourdays

Halfhourdays

"Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt."
Mar 14, 2025
603
Maybe this is just me but I find the second a bit mean spirited. We shouldn't make fun of someone's suffering no matter what when they are considering suicide even if you think their reason to die is irrational.
People are actually dying over their issues, it's pretty serious stuff. But it's also impossible not to make fun of ourselves after a while.
 
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StrugglingSienna

StrugglingSienna

Love you, mom. │ Expires May 31st
Mar 16, 2025
116
Maybe this is just me but I find the second a bit mean spirited. We shouldn't make fun of someone's suffering no matter what when they are considering suicide even if you think their reason to die is irrational.
It is a little bit mean-spirited, but I also feel that I am much closer to type B than to type A. Perhaps some of my own self-hatred came out in that part because of it.
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,400
It is a little bit mean-spirited, but I also feel that I am much closer to type B than to type A. Perhaps some of my own self-hatred came out in that part because of it.
You have a 6.5 inch+ girlcock?! /joke

I definitely understand the self hatred. I myself feel like that for myself as I feel like my problems aren't valid but I have gotten better with it and think it's totally valid for me to ctb as I think any reason to is valid. I also feel like I am more in line with type B, mostly out being a relationship ending quite quickly in the past but I still feel broken and dead inside without a relationship despite it being 3 years since that first one and a year since the 2nd one I was in. I wish I was successful with my ctb attempt somewhat shortly after the break up of the first as I was right I wouldn't get better.
 
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J

Jadeith

Experienced
Jan 14, 2025
281
I guess both can be taken as a bit mean-spirited. Depends on who's reading i guess.
I don't mind a little satire now and then, even if it touches some "grave" matters.
 
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S

snwcolt

ballz deep in ur mom
Apr 1, 2025
39
Type A:

Long time lurker, first time poster here.
Things have gone awry in a tremendous way:
The love of my life for sixty-seven years left me last May.
My son and daughter have both passed away.
I don't think my dog loves me anymore, and my cat never did.

That covers the family, so onto me,
I'm fat, and ugly, and unlikeable, there's no saving this.
Oh, and I have cancer, an osteosarcoma, and type II diabetes.
I haven't had a job in sixty-seven years, nor any education.
CTB today is my temptation,
I've only got one chance.
Because I have to see my parole officer and get drug tested tomorrow,
after a 7 week meth bender.
Also, I am transgender.

So, any shotgun suggestions?


Type B:

hi sasuuuu!!!! i just turned 18!
my life has been ruined so let me explain.
my gf of one week has left me for Chad,
and i got a b in one class so i'm pretty sad.
the worst part about it all? my dick!
only 6.5 inches (flaccid).

so, um, anyways, i have here with me
some nyquil, some tylenol, some benadryl
so can someone please make my week
and tell me which of these will provide
the quick, painless death that i seek?
Maaannnn please for the love of fuck don't end yourself as a teenager. No offense fr but it's fucking stupid. Nothing that seems important is as critical as you think and absolutely nothing that seems permanent in is even close to being so. Your post seems pretty satirical anyway so hopefully this is a joke but if you really wanna talk meth send me a mother fuckin dm and I'll school you on some shit bro. You just tryna bust some balls tho ain't you?
 
StrugglingSienna

StrugglingSienna

Love you, mom. │ Expires May 31st
Mar 16, 2025
116
You have a 6.5 inch+ girlcock?! /joke
...Yes, actually. Right around 6.5. Although it has definitely shrunk since starting HRT...


I definitely understand the self hatred. I myself feel like that for myself as I feel like my problems aren't valid but I have gotten better with it and think it's totally valid for me to ctb as I think any reason to is valid. I also feel like I am more in line with type B, mostly out being a relationship ending quite quickly in the past but I still feel broken and dead inside without a relationship despite it being 3 years since that first one and a year since the 2nd one I was in. I wish I was successful with my ctb attempt somewhat shortly after the break up of the first as I was right I wouldn't get better.

Yeah, ultimately I'm still new to this website and I'm still unlearning the societal conditioning that suicide is always wrong. I've never really believed that anyways, but the indoctrination goes deep. And like you said, it's sometimes hard to view our problems as valid. I talk a lot about how my dysphoria is my main reason for ctb but I don't mention the fact that I pass as cis very often, because a lot of people, even here, would then see my reason for ctb as invalid. I know that your reasons are totally different, but that is my reason. But ultimately, regardless of how our lives look from the outside to others, these problems make our lives hell and for them to drive us to ctb is plain evidence that our reasons are valid.

I get you on the relationship stuff too. It's not my main reason to ctb but it's been two years since my divorce and it fucking sucks. Even if your relationships were short, it feels awful to experience having a person take care of you, someone that makes you want to live and be your best self so you can take care of them as well, and then to have them ripped away from you just as fast. It leaves a hole inside of you that is not easily filled. Even if you get into a new relationship... it will never be them.
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,400
...Yes, actually. Right around 6.5. Although it has definitely shrunk since starting HRT...
You probably never expected to say this info on a suicide website lol
Yeah, ultimately I'm still new to this website and I'm still unlearning the societal conditioning that suicide is always wrong. I've never really believed that anyways, but the indoctrination goes deep. And like you said, it's sometimes hard to view our problems as valid. I talk a lot about how my dysphoria is my main reason for ctb but I don't mention the fact that I pass as cis very often, because a lot of people, even here, would then see my reason for ctb as invalid. I know that your reasons are totally different, but that is my reason. But ultimately, regardless of how our lives look from the outside to others, these problems make our lives hell and for them to drive us to ctb is plain evidence that our reasons are valid.

I get you on the relationship stuff too. It's not my main reason to ctb but it's been two years since my divorce and it fucking sucks. Even if your relationships were short, it feels awful to experience having a person take care of you, someone that makes you want to live and be your best self so you can take care of them as well, and then to have them ripped away from you just as fast. It leaves a hole inside of you that is not easily filled. Even if you get into a new relationship... it will never be them.
I hope you can escape the indoctrination fully so you don't have to be ashamed about your suicidalness at all and being able to make a better decision on whether life or death is if less suffering for you. Sadly even some members here think some reasons aren't enough to ctb which I think is mean and unempathetic.

Yea :< I just feel like I have felt something so great and now lost it and can't live without it anymore like it's a drug I am highly addicted to. I have mostly been alone throughout my life before that first relationship so that probably made break more from losing it.
Maaannnn please for the love of fuck don't end yourself as a teenager. No offense fr but it's fucking stupid. Nothing that seems important is as critical as you think and absolutely nothing that seems permanent in is even close to being so. Your post seems pretty satirical anyway so hopefully this is a joke but if you really wanna talk meth send me a mother fuckin dm and I'll school you on some shit bro. You just tryna bust some balls tho ain't you?
Well this what I mean by other members being mean. While you are partially right about things can improve If I continue to live but if I committed suicide when I was a teenager I won't have to experience more suffering and wouldn't have lost anything from dying early as I can't regret it. My teenager self was correct in that it would have been better for me to die early as I am still wanting to die to this day.
 
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StrugglingSienna

StrugglingSienna

Love you, mom. │ Expires May 31st
Mar 16, 2025
116
You probably never expected to say this info on a suicide website lol

Nah, when I first joined I kind of figured this website would be full of trans women because that's just how we often are. And in any place with trans women I expect there to be some weird sex talk eventually. Again, because that's just how we are...

I hope you can escape the indoctrination fully so you don't have to be ashamed about your suicidalness at all and being able to make a better decision on whether life or death is if less suffering for you. Sadly even some members here think some reasons aren't enough to ctb which I think is mean and unempathetic.

I think I'm pretty close already. I definitely have no plan on leaving this website despite not being a fan of some users, I've met too many great people like you and @TransTaxEvader already.

Yea :< I just feel like I have felt something so great and now lost it and can't live without it anymore like it's a drug I am highly addicted to. I have mostly been alone throughout my life before that first relationship so that probably made break more from losing it.
I'm so sorry, Namelesa. I know how hard it is. I hope you're able to find someone who gives you lots of huggies, or that you're eventually able to find peace in death, or both ❤️
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,400
Nah, when I first joined I kind of figured this website would be full of trans women because that's just how we often are. And in any place with trans women I expect there to be some weird sex talk eventually. Again, because that's just how we are...
True, I would know cus of what I do in the NSFW chat on this site hehehe.

I think I'm pretty close already. I definitely have no plan on leaving this website despite not being a fan of some users, I've met too many great people like you and @TransTaxEvader already.

I'm so sorry, Namelesa. I know how hard it is. I hope you're able to find someone who gives you lots of huggies, or that you're eventually able to find peace in death, or both ❤️
Thank you and I glad you think that way about me <3
 
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StrugglingSienna

StrugglingSienna

Love you, mom. │ Expires May 31st
Mar 16, 2025
116
Maaannnn please for the love of fuck don't end yourself as a teenager. No offense fr but it's fucking stupid. Nothing that seems important is as critical as you think and absolutely nothing that seems permanent in is even close to being so. Your post seems pretty satirical anyway so hopefully this is a joke but if you really wanna talk meth send me a mother fuckin dm and I'll school you on some shit bro. You just tryna bust some balls tho ain't you?
Oh for sure I'm just trying to bust some balls here. I didn't expect a stupid poem that I wrote in 5 minutes to get this many replies.

I'm between the two extremes. I know plenty about meth at this point, used to be very very addicted to it. Usually stick with regular speed now (shhh... I know that it's basically just as bad, but most normies don't know that!)
 
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