FallenStar
Hopeless
- Aug 3, 2024
- 2
My twin sister and I have been as thick as thieves since the day we were born. We grew up playing with each other every moment that we had together and now its almost a default setting sitting and being in the same room with her. I Haven't spent longer than 5 days at a time without seeing her but she will be moving out to the big city with her boyfriend at the end of the month. I know she will be taken care of and having time apart like this was inevitable to happen to us one day in life but I fear loneliness is going to overcome me when she is gone. I work in a factory which is not very mentally stimulating work so I always find myself thinking of all the bad things about myself and qualities of life I don't enjoy. I personally have never had a boyfriend in my 22 years of life and chronically run away and self sabotage possible lovers out of fear they are going to realize how much I really do suck and how much my perceived happiness is really a mask for others. I'm scared that without her, I might finally get the courage to CTB and I really don't want to do that to her because I know it very well could ruin her relationship or life losing me like that. I love her more than anything else in this world. I hope I can hold on.
