Venting TW sh shame 💔

[illbedead]

TW SH shame
last night i cut my whrist out of impulse. i dont even know why and im ashamed now. i mean. i know i was in a delicate mental state, but now that im out of it i feel stupid and ashamed. i know my reasons but feel like ill have to explain myself and dont want to. im scared and ashamed people will think i did it for their attention. maybe i do need attention (not in a selfish way but in a help me way) and being taken seriously, but they wont see it like that, nobody takes seriouslly my agony, i could and should be dead rn. sorry if ur the same and i make u feel bad, it just me venting my insecurity, i didnt want to be here with a bunch of whrist cuts at my rape age of 23.

also having pysch appt on friday and dont know hoy to go about it with the cuts, im ashamed and scared of being questioned and invalidated

 

[blank_slab]

I'm sorry that your feeling these emotions i often have the same worries about people thinking less of me or being questioned I hope it all works out for you

 

[LoiteringClouds]

TW SH shame
last night i cut my whrist out of impulse. i dont even know why and im ashamed now. i mean. i know i was in a delicate mental state, but now that im out of it i feel stupid and ashamed. i know my reasons but feel like ill have to explain myself and dont want to. im scared and ashamed people will think i did it for their attention. maybe i do need attention (not in a selfish way but in a help me way) and being taken seriously, but they wont see it like that, nobody takes seriouslly my agony, i could and should be dead rn. sorry if ur the same and i make u feel bad, it just me venting my insecurity, i didnt want to be here with a bunch of whrist cuts at my rape age of 23.

also having pysch appt on friday and dont know hoy to go about it with the cuts, im ashamed and scared of being questioned and invalidated

hello @illbedead,
People around you might not understand unhappiness isn't your choice.
But please know that you have a voice.
Here, everyone has a voice if they aren't yet dead.

People might say, "there's no rhyme or reason to your suffering"
But I know it's real, so I made up this rhyme.
If you are comfortable please tell us why are you lamenting?
We will never judge you; please tell us if you think it's your time.

Can you hide your wounds if you don't want to disclose your self-harm?
Or it's too large or obvious?

I used to self-harmed, too, and I worn a wrist support band to hide my scars.
In my case people around me didn't care about it but I know everyone is different.
I hope your appointment goes well

 

[SpiderLink]

TW SH shame
last night i cut my whrist out of impulse. i dont even know why and im ashamed now. i mean. i know i was in a delicate mental state, but now that im out of it i feel stupid and ashamed. i know my reasons but feel like ill have to explain myself and dont want to. im scared and ashamed people will think i did it for their attention. maybe i do need attention (not in a selfish way but in a help me way) and being taken seriously, but they wont see it like that, nobody takes seriouslly my agony, i could and should be dead rn. sorry if ur the same and i make u feel bad, it just me venting my insecurity, i didnt want to be here with a bunch of whrist cuts at my rape age of 23.

also having pysch appt on friday and dont know hoy to go about it with the cuts, im ashamed and scared of being questioned and invalidated

I feel u, I used to cut a lot, every time I did, I would feel ashamed after, and something to keep on "high alert" so no one would notice. What makes u worried about your psych appointment? Have they judged you before?

 

[illbedead]

I'm sorry that your feeling these emotions i often have the same worries about people thinking less of me or being questioned I hope it all works out for you

thanks love, hope it works out for you too

hello @illbedead,
People around you might not understand unhappiness isn't your choice.
But please know that you have a voice.
Here, everyone has a voice if they aren't yet dead.

People might say, "there's no rhyme or reason to your suffering"
But I know it's real, so I made up this rhyme.
If you are comfortable please tell us why are you lamenting?
We will never judge you; please tell us if you think it's your time.

Can you hide your wounds if you don't want to disclose your self-harm?
Or it's too large or obvious?

I used to self-harmed, too, and I worn a wrist support band to hide my scars.
In my case people around me didn't care about it but I know everyone is different.
I hope your appointment goes well

thank you so much for your kind words, trully<3
idk if its my time right now, since just now my parmts are trying to help me so im trying for them.
im just tired of everything. i have bpd, adhd and prolly autism, depression, and ptsd. so yep, everyday its a war that i no longer have the power to confront and i just rotten in my bed being a burden for my cyrcle. so i want to free us all, its been years.
tysm, i hope too. i kind of feel weird speaking my thruth such as SI, SH or feelings in grneral, but will try my best to make it worth it, since its super expensive in my country (chile)
hope ur good

I feel u, I used to cut a lot, every time I did, I would feel ashamed after, and something to keep on "high alert" so no one would notice. What makes u worried about your psych appointment? Have they judged you before?

ty
im worried she'll treat me like im dumb or not good at ctb. like if im so suicidal why havent i. last therapist told me that people that want to do it just do it and are not telling anyone like i did at that time, in an emergency session.
been reading a lot of other peoples experinces on sh being not that harmfull (not so deep or bad) and so being invalidated. i think i have impostor syndrome or sm like that bc i feel weird telling my things like… i have a really hard time socializing, getting out of bed, being percived, and so many other things I KNOW HAUNTS ME, but when i tell others i feel stupid bc it may sound easy, i tell muself just gonna try harder but its been years and i cant. so its a problem. im afraid she invalidates my struggle or going in the wrong path therapy wise
ty for answering