TW: I hate how everything is s*xual and it’s driving me insane(plus my job…)

[777puppy777]

I hate it. I can't stand it. Everywhere I look something weird and sexual is going on in the internet. I can't stand people who makes those jokes. I hate when people say I'm pretty and try to get with me but I know I'm just average. I want to recover from this but it's so hard, obviously bad stuff has happened to me-and I can't stand it whether if it's from a man or woman or whoever. The voices make it a million times worse though, they're always moaning or assaulting me or doing stuff with eachother or flirting with me in a sexual way it's driving me insane. Even annything slightly flirty drives me fucking insane. Anything romantic too. Unfortunately the job I have has to do with sexual themes, it's legal though thankfully. But the thing is-is that I need this job because it pays enough for my hobbies and rent and all that. I can't get any other job, but it's absolutely tearing me apart. But then again it provides enough income for me to live my life fully. I just hope this new medicine will help me completely get rid of those voices. Those are the main issue. I could handle this if the voices weren't constantly saying perverted shit to me. I know I'll be okay. I have faith, I'm just in a rough spot and it sucks when you live and grow up in a culture where sex is just in your face all. the. damn. time.

Please be nice if you're reading this and want to reply, this life is all I've known. I just wish I could make amends with it and embrace this all as normal human functioning but my body refuses to let that be allowed and I just get disgusted.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I'm sorry you're going through this. Hearing voices can be so scary and tiring...I can relate to things you said. Several years ago I used to hear voices and them talking all the time consumed all my energy, then them shouting at each other was just more conflict and tiredness.

I hope medication helps you as well, I don't wish voices on anyone.

My past boyfriend had a job in the sex industry, he was a programmer for hentai games. Only job that hired him and he needed the money... I wouldn't have been able to handle it but he said that what he would do was just kind of work and think about something else completely. Imagine he was doing something else. I don't know how much it helped.

I do share your disgust for everything being so sexual, I had issues with that all my life. I wish society wasn't so addicted to sexual themes, makes everything feel so cheap and perverted.

I wish you the best

 

[777puppy777]

I'm sorry you're going through this. Hearing voices can be so scary and tiring...I can relate to things you said. Several years ago I used to hear voices and them talking all the time consumed all my energy, then them shouting at each other was just more conflict and tiredness.

I hope medication helps you as well, I don't wish voices on anyone.

My past boyfriend had a job in the sex industry, he was a programmer for hentai games. Only job that hired him and he needed the money... I wouldn't have been able to handle it but he said that what he would do was just kind of work and think about something else completely. Imagine he was doing something else. I don't know how much it helped.

I do share your disgust for everything being so sexual, I had issues with that all my life. I wish society wasn't so addicted to sexual themes, makes everything feel so cheap and perverted.

I wish you the best

Thank you for your kind words they mean a lot. And yeah, today was a good day, the medicine really helped I just gotta keep taking it to get to a good point. But it seems being alone has them really acting up, (hence why I wrote this because I live alone and I'm alone rn) but I'm sure I'll find a good way to cope along with the medicine very soon. I have hope for myself.

 

[onceinthefuturewas]

may i know what medicine you are taking? i think i have a similar condition

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Thank you for your kind words they mean a lot. And yeah, today was a good day, the medicine really helped I just gotta keep taking it to get to a good point. But it seems being alone has them really acting up, (hence why I wrote this because I live alone and I'm alone rn) but I'm sure I'll find a good way to cope along with the medicine very soon. I have hope for myself.

Oh this is so nice to read ❤
I'm very glad the medicine has helped! I can confirm that being alone makes them way worse, that was it for me as well, if I was alone, sad or bored they would be so loud. If I could focus on something or I was talking with someone, it would be harder for them.

I think the brain can't do so many things at the same time.

Thank you for giving this update, it's so nice to see someone having some hope and recovering even if just little by little. Means a lot, I truly wish you good days from here on out. There will be ups and downs I'm sure but I wish you a nice recovery, so you can feel calm and content

 

[777puppy777]

may i know what medicine you are taking? i think i have a similar condition

Hello yes. I am on Latuda and I am taking hydroxyzine with it to prevent the akathisia side effect from Latuda-basically restlessness.

Oh this is so nice to read ❤
I'm very glad the medicine has helped! I can confirm that being alone makes them way worse, that was it for me as well, if I was alone, sad or bored they would be so loud. If I could focus on something or I was talking with someone, it would be harder for them.

I think the brain can't do so many things at the same time.

Thank you for giving this update, it's so nice to see someone having some hope and recovering even if just little by little. Means a lot, I truly wish you good days from here on out. There will be ups and downs I'm sure but I wish you a nice recovery, so you can feel calm and content

Thank you once again your kind words mean a lot, it can be rough out there and talking to kind souls like you really help. I hope whatever you're dealing with gets sorted out as well-I'll send my wishes or prayers-whatever you prefer lol lol and yeah they get so annoying when I'm alone, but at least I'm aware! That's a step to coping and recovery.

 

[Life_and_Death]

100%!!!

i even only stick to kids movies and things like that, i still cant f'en get away from it!

 

[Tesha]

I'm so pleased you've been able to share how you're feeling with us. It's not easy to express all the shit negativity that we internalise, especially when relates to things as personal as sex. I can only imagine it's even harder when your internal dialogue is also kicking you.

It sounds like you're really trying, that the medication is helping and that you're aware of things that trigger you. That's a fairly good foundation for pulling yourself back on track.

Many of the things you mentioned are outside of your control, so try and keep focusing on the stuff you can influence. The arseholes that use sex as some sort of intimidation technique or as a means to relate to you, are just that.. they're arseholes.

It sounds like you know your job isn't helping - but right now, it's probably better to have an income that allows you to do some nice things for yourself, such as your hobbies. Once you've got more of a handle on those voices, your general mood and outlook, then you'll be in a much stronger position to seek a different direction for your career.

I appreciate I'm probably coming across as a bit 'tell you what to do'. Sorry, if that's the case - I suppose I just saw a fighter in you and wanted to encourage you to keep going.

 

[777puppy777]

I'm so pleased you've been able to share how you're feeling with us. It's not easy to express all the shit negativity that we internalise, especially when relates to things as personal as sex. I can only imagine it's even harder when your internal dialogue is also kicking you.

It sounds like you're really trying, that the medication is helping and that you're aware of things that trigger you. That's a fairly good foundation for pulling yourself back on track.

Many of the things you mentioned are outside of your control, so try and keep focusing on the stuff you can influence. The arseholes that use sex as some sort of intimidation technique or as a means to relate to you, are just that.. they're arseholes.

It sounds like you know your job isn't helping - but right now, it's probably better to have an income that allows you to do some nice things for yourself, such as your hobbies. Once you've got more of a handle on those voices, your general mood and outlook, then you'll be in a much stronger position to seek a different direction for your career.

I appreciate I'm probably coming across as a bit 'tell you what to do'. Sorry, if that's the case - I suppose I just saw a fighter in you and wanted to encourage you to keep going.

Thank you so much, oddly enough I'm in the middle of a psychosis episode but I'm pushing through. It feels so weird, but I've been in worse places. It will def sort itself out. Thank you so much for all your kind words it means a lot you see the fighter in me I really appreciate it