Venting turns out SI is a bitch

[freight_train]

thought i'd be gone by now but I still haven't cbt'd for some reason. I got everything I need.

perhaps i don't have enough motivation yet, because I don't work currently and can afford copes like alcohol and weed. but once i'm forced to get a 9-5... pretty sure that'll be the last straw. we'll see.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

same here. I'm only alive right now because of SI.

I prepared everything for my attempt and then backed off on the last hour.

next time I'll use benzodiazepines on the day of the attempt.

I'll use the highest dose possible that doesn't make me sleep. then I guess it'll be easier.

 

[Cryptonite]

same here. I'm only alive right now because o SI.

I prepared everything for my attempt and then backed off on the last hour.

next time I'll use benzodiazepines on the day of the attempt.

I'll use the highest dose possible that doesn't make me sleep. then I guess it'll be easier.

Good idea!

 

[jodes2]

Sorry it didn't work out, glad you're still here

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide can be difficult as even know we want to be gone, we are programmed to survive. I think that this is what keeps many people here trapped in their lives filled with endless misery. But at least you have a plan to leave for when the time is right. I wish you the best.

 

[Amnesiaisalloverme]

same here. I'm only alive right now because o SI.

I prepared everything for my attempt and then backed off on the last hour.

next time I'll use benzodiazepines on the day of the attempt.

I'll use the highest dose possible that doesn't make me sleep. then I guess it'll be easier.

What is SI

 

[NeverEndingPain]

What is SI

Survival instinct

 

[lanahelp]

same here. I'm only alive right now because o SI.

I prepared everything for my attempt and then backed off on the last hour.

next time I'll use benzodiazepines on the day of the attempt.

I'll use the highest dose possible that doesn't make me sleep. then I guess it'll be easier.

How many would do the job? I she Xanax and klonopinither eda too. My n was confiscated. Sn thrown away.

 

[cemetorium]

same. I've owned a rope for a long time, just haven't used it in a serious attempt yet. I'm 98% sure I will die by suicide but some primal part of my brain is afraid of death.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

How many would do the job?

it's impossible to answer that question. each person has their personal sensitivity and personal tolerance to benzodiazepines. it's better to test yourself on a day away from the day of the attempt.

Good idea!

yea man, I saw your thread about benzos. although I did not comment on it, I was going to and, long story short: I really think my attempt would have been successful if I was "high" on benzodiazepines.

it happened that I was also sleep deprived, but that's another story.

but TL;DR: I'll try again one day without sleep deprivation and WITH benzodiazepines.

benzos are powerful drugs! in a way, they make us simply do not care. the relaxation and peacefulness they cause is just amazing.

the thread I mentioned:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/on-the-usefulness-of-benzos-against-si.99778/

 

[deathisnear]

It is a bitch, and a very annoying one. I'm in the same position. And I hate myself more and more everyday for sticking around. It's torture, to have what you need and have SI block it. I'm only here because I keep thinking of how people will freak out when I do it, I want to just block it out and do it. It's so fucking hard though. Hopefully we can both get what we need soon.

 

[Amnesiaisalloverme]

Survival instinct

O. I also feel like i have a high SI coz i have been suffering since the age of 13 and somehow manage to live. Gaawd. I am 24 now. Wanna put this to end so bad . I want to go with SN method as this is the only accessible method but still have some second thoughts

 

[makethepainstop]

thought i'd be gone by now but I still haven't cbt'd for some reason. I got everything I need.

perhaps i don't have enough motivation yet, because I don't work currently and can afford copes like alcohol and weed. but once i'm forced to get a 9-5... pretty sure that'll be the last straw. we'll see.

Unfortunately our evolution has programmed us to live, si is a part of that package. Shame really, when the logic part of your brain is telling you, things cannot get better, time to end this. Then that damn si kicks in and says hell no!