Discussion Turns out I am probably clinically depressed.

[mattwitt]

I've been planning and preparing my suicide for over 5 years now for mostly physical reasons related to my type 2 diabetes. I've always been in denial about major depression and never realized that my physical problems were symptoms of depression. But upon carefully going over this chart and examining myself honestly I was able to strongly identify with 23 out of the 25 symptoms presented in 4 different categories.

 

[Circles]

One symptom you didn't mentioned is the reality we find ourselves in aka societal/family units. It's a major underlying cause for depression as those symptoms are outside of ourselves and cannot control.

 

[weedoge]

Adrenal insufficiency, dodgy sense of self and constant failure and abuse wherever I went in the world. Twisted me into a horribly ill person, I was already susceptible to paranoia and illness but my experiences just compounded it all the past 6-8 years, the time before it feels like yesterday because things have stood still ever since things started going bad.

basically a symptoms come from the reaction to a really unfortunate series of events.... no pun intended. and circumstances and environment and internal factors, it all contributes.

 

[okyeah]

Unsolvable problems makes me a negative person that can't tolerate being a "good worker" who woulda thought

 

[weedoge]

Unsolvable problems makes me a negative person that can't tolerate being a "good worker" who woulda thought

Good concise way of putting it.

 

[mattwitt]

One symptom you didn't mentioned is the reality we find ourselves in aka societal/family units. It's a major underlying cause for depression as those symptoms are outside of ourselves and cannot control.

Symptoms are the result of the root or underlying cause.

 

[Circles]

Symptoms are the result of the root or underlying cause.

The default symptoms or aspects or whatever of life itself. The human condition and the physical laws and constraints of he universe that you cannot control. Apologies I was just using that as a placeholder.

 

[mattwitt]

The default symptoms or aspects or whatever of life itself. The human condition and the physical laws and constraints of he universe that you cannot control. Apologies I was just using that as a placeholder.

No apologies needed : ) Your reply made me re think some things and edit this thread. It made me re examine myself and question some things about the medical community and the chart itself. Thank you !

 

[mattwitt]

I don't like this chart. It's telling me that all of my physical, mental, emotional, and behavior problems are caused by depression which in turn is supposedly caused by some kind of "chemical imbalance" in the brain or from a specific, identifiable external cause as they like to put it. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-in-world/200910/the-true-cause-depression

I don't believe these symptoms I am experiencing are caused by depression. If anything my High Blood Sugar which is a physical problem is causing all of my other physical, mental, emotional, and behavior problems which make it look and seem like I am depressed when I am really not.

Am I right ? Am I back in denial ? Or do I belong somewhere guarded by men in white outfits with butterfly nets ?

 

[weedoge]

I don't like this chart. It's telling me that all of my physical, mental, emotional, and behavior problems are caused by depression which in turn is supposedly caused by some kind of "chemical imbalance" in the brain or from a specific, identifiable external cause as they like to put it. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-in-world/200910/the-true-cause-depression

I don't believe these symptoms I'm experiencing are caused by depression. If anything my High Blood Sugar which is a physical problem is causing all of my other physical, mental, emotional, and behavior problems which make it look like and seem that I am depressed when I am really not.

Am I right ? Am I back in denial ? Or do I belong somewhere guarded by men in white outfits with butterfly nets ?

Why not all three?

 

[jaemus12]

I have most if not all symptoms from three of the four quadrants.

 

[mattwitt]

Why not all three?

There's always that 4th possibility.

 

[Trashcan]

I have been professionally diagnosed, so yes.

 

[Lra888]

It's written on my chart.

 

[sadsoul]

I have most of the symptoms. But the symptoms aren't extremely bad, and that really makes me question whether I have depression or not. I feel like I'm just a piece of shit who is too stupid to handle life and not really a depressed person who is mentally ill. I hate myself for wanting to ctb while there are other people out there who have the craziest depression and still keep fighting.

 

[worldexploder]

Clinical diagnosis: major depressive disorder

Personal diagnosis: Shit life.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

Exactly. I accept the diagnosis because the classifications make it easier to talk about things. But all in all, there is nothing wrong with me! My life was shitty. My natural disposition didn't equipment me to deal with a lot of bullshit. My caregivers were shit. Instead of providing a healthy environment for me to grow into a self assured person that can handle adversity, they heaped on abuse and eventually neglect. Then left to my own devices, i realized none of this is even worth my time and energy cause I'm just going to die anyway fucking way. BUT getting out is hard as hell. I feel defeated. I'm angry, and lethargic, and cry often and sleep too much and not enough and whatever the hell else they want to label as depression.

 

[mattwitt]

I only identify with 3 of the symptoms, loss of motivation, sadness and thoughts about death/suicide

This chart drives me crazy because after identifying with 23 out of the 25 symptoms they present I could spend hours asking myself on a scale of 1 - 10 how severe is each symptom ?

 

[sadsoul]

This chart drives me crazy because after identifying with 23 out of the 25 symptoms they present I could spend hours asking myself on a scale of 1 - 10 how severe is each symptom ?

Same, this shit drives me crazy too. Like am I depressed? Am I not depressed? How severe are my symptoms? 3? No, my symptoms are stronger. 7? 8? No, it's not that bad. Or is it? No? Yes? God, I don't know, I don't know anything, fuck this.

 

[mattwitt]

Same, this shit drives me crazy too. Like am I depressed? Am I not depressed? How severe are my symptoms? 3? No, my symptoms are stronger. 7? 8? No, it's not that bad. Or is it? No? Yes? God, I don't know, I don't know anything, fuck this.

The mental health community with all of their books, charts, torture therapy, brain scans, brain surgery, and drugs puts people on the path to more drugs, the insane asylum, and ultimately suicide.

 

[sadsoul]

The mental health community with all of their books, torture therapy and drugs puts people on the path to more drugs, the insane asylum, and ultimately suicide.

It's funny how many people think that the mental health community is soooo progressive nowadays. If you know history, then you know how horribly mental health was handled back then and how this still impacts how we view and handle mental health today. It's basically still the same bullshit like back then, we just made it a little friendlier. Rainbow bullshit.

 

[mattwitt]

It's funny how many people think that the mental health community is soooo progressive nowadays. If you know history, then you know how horribly mental health was handled back then and how this still impacts how we view and handle mental health today. It's basically still the same bullshit like back then, we just made it a little friendlier. Rainbow bullshit.

They like to turn people into vegetable's with drugs or lobotomy's and call it successful therapy.

 

[sadsoul]

They like to turn people into vegetable's with drugs or lobotomy's and call it successful therapy.

Or they just talk to you (which literally anyone could do) and give it the fancy name talk therapy.

 

[mattwitt]

Or they just talk to you (which literally anyone could do) and give it the fancy name talk therapy.

And charge someone 250 bucks an hour to do 99 % of the talking !

 

[mattwitt]

It's funny how many people think that the mental health community is soooo progressive nowadays. If you know history, then you know how horribly mental health was handled back then and how this still impacts how we view and handle mental health today. It's basically still the same bullshit like back then, we just made it a little friendlier. Rainbow bullshit.

I don't blame or get mad at individuals within the medical community. For them It was a career decision they made or their parents made for them before they were even born. Their just like everyone else in this goofy, backwards, opposite, screwed up world we live in. Their Just trying to survive, make a living, and eat their cake also. It's not their fault Their college, professors and text books got it all wrong for them.

 

[sadsoul]

And charge someone 250 bucks an hour to do 99 % of the talking !

Fortunately my health insurance covers it but yeah, not everyone is that lucky.

 

[tevati]

Anhedonia and apathetic here is soul sucking.


I am and doc not even sure it's depression.

 

[Midnight]

I find myself in 23 out of 25 of those symptoms aswell. Just no crying and no changes in appearance.

Start to add a load of physical/financial/relational issues aswell and you got a recipe for disaster right there. And people would still be "why u down bro?" It's hilarious ... Or enfuriating at times.

 

[Fucking loving it]

I have bipolar. I get those symptoms as well.