Venting Turned the difficulty up.

[Achlys]

A bit of a rant.

Though I'm always in the state of mind to let someone shoot me if given the chance, I'm not persistently in the state of mind to pull the trigger. I've some hope, as hard as it is to see some days, but today's been too much for even me to bear. I think I could take SN/N with no regrets right now if I had some.

Insurance will only cover half of a necessary surgery I have scheduled. Estimate puts me at potentially $100k in the red. Then, today, I found I can't get an updated letter from a doctor. He keeps stalling. Problem is, the surgery is soon, and I need the letter for insurance to even cover just half the cost.

To try and take my mind off of things, I decided to bake some cookies. I was missing an ingredient, so I left to buy some, only to find my car broken into. Windows shattered. Glass everywhere—inside and out. Nothing stolen, either. I was planning on attending school tomorrow after staying home so many days in a row, but...

Too tired. Too overwhelmed.

It feels like someone took a cursory glance at my life, deemed it, "Not bad enough," and turned the difficulty up from hard to death-wish.

Why's everything so painful?

 

[Quiet Desperation]

Sorry you're going through it. My car got broken into not long ago too. By your insurance story you must live in the US. Only here do we screw over sick people so greedy insurance companies can make more profit. Every story I read like yours makes me angry.

 

[Achlys]

Sorry you're going through it. My car got broken into not long ago too. By your insurance story you must live in the US. Only here do we screw over sick people so greedy insurance companies can make more profit. Every story I like yours I read makes me angry.

You indeed guessed right. Thank you for your kind words.

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that it can be very dreadful when things keep on going wrong, this life is very unfair and to me it seems as though life is mostly just suffering. One of the most horrible things about this life is that there is no limit as to how bad things can get and how much we can suffer. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[ikadasui]

A bit of a rant.

Though I'm always in the state of mind to let someone shoot me if given the chance, I'm not persistently in the state of mind to pull the trigger. I've some hope, as hard as it is to see some days, but today's been too much for even me to bear. I think I could take SN/N with no regrets right now if I had some.

Insurance will only cover half of a necessary surgery I have scheduled. Estimate puts me at potentially $100k in the red. Then, today, I found I can't get an updated letter from a doctor. He keeps stalling. Problem is, the surgery is soon, and I need the letter for insurance to even cover just half the cost.

To try and take my mind off of things, I decided to bake some cookies. I was missing an ingredient, so I left to buy some, only to find my car broken into. Windows shattered. Glass everywhere—inside and out. Nothing stolen, either. I was planning on attending school tomorrow after staying home so many days in a row, but...

Too tired. Too overwhelmed.

It feels like someone took a cursory glance at my life, deemed it, "Not bad enough," and turned the difficulty up from hard to death-wish.

Why's everything so painful?

Yeah no kidding! Really is when you're in the mud that catastrophe carriage desides to run you over.

 

[Lullaby]

I'm really sorry, OP. When something bad happens, it's like the go ahead to have everything else pile on top of you. It's exhausting.

You deserve a break from everything, so I wouldn't feel bad staying home.

 

[Achlys]

I'm really sorry, OP. When something bad happens, it's like the go ahead to have everything else pile on top of you. It's exhausting.

You deserve a break from everything, so I wouldn't feel bad staying home.

That's how I've rationalized staying home the past few days... Still, I feel such a visceral unease for doing it. My grades this semester have been sub-par, so I've decided to settle for passing. But, with the way things have been going the last few weeks, it seems I might be jeopardizing all the effort I've spent earlier this semester. Makes me feel all twisted and torn up inside.

Thank you.

 

[Judy Garland]

A bit of a rant.

Though I'm always in the state of mind to let someone shoot me if given the chance, I'm not persistently in the state of mind to pull the trigger. I've some hope, as hard as it is to see some days, but today's been too much for even me to bear. I think I could take SN/N with no regrets right now if I had some.

Insurance will only cover half of a necessary surgery I have scheduled. Estimate puts me at potentially $100k in the red. Then, today, I found I can't get an updated letter from a doctor. He keeps stalling. Problem is, the surgery is soon, and I need the letter for insurance to even cover just half the cost.

To try and take my mind off of things, I decided to bake some cookies. I was missing an ingredient, so I left to buy some, only to find my car broken into. Windows shattered. Glass everywhere—inside and out. Nothing stolen, either. I was planning on attending school tomorrow after staying home so many days in a row, but...

Too tired. Too overwhelmed.

It feels like someone took a cursory glance at my life, deemed it, "Not bad enough," and turned the difficulty up from hard to death-wish.

Why's everything so painful?

You have no idea...but you're absolutely right about someone saying "Not bad enough". Exactly right. I wonder if Peggy Ann was there saying it too.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I understand how you feel. That's how it seems like it has been for me for years and years. Crawling up out of a deep hole, with slippery, wet, mud walls is difficult, at best, but impossible if it never stops raining.