Turned on by my own blood

[scratchinglemons]

I used to S/H when I was a really little kid, maybe 4th grade. I've always dealt with a shitty family and shitty people. It had been an on and off thing up until now. I've started again, but for a long time now, I've partially enjoyed pain. Obviously nobody likes getting hurt, but in some situations recently it's just felt nice to sort of get that adrenaline jolt.
I was with my boyfriend and I was talking to him about it, and we tried knife play. He ended up cutting me a little on my thigh, on accident but we both ended up getting really turned on by it. At some point now it's sort if like a turn on to self harm during sex one way or another, and I keep thinking of how pretty the blood looks through the cuts that cone through. Scarring isn't a huge issue for me since I don't care, but I don't know why I find blood dripping down really pretty. I kind of want to find more places to self harm or what to self harm with rather then only blades (but I like blades too). Maybe it's a mental illness or maybe it's just okay, but a part of me is starting to enjoy seeing the blood during s/h sessions. Sometimes I like to go in the shower and turn on scalding hot water so I can numb myself and cut deeper do I can both burn myself with the water and cut. Anyways if anyone has any thoughts or ideas feel free

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

I too find my blood delicious to observe, i like when it runs down my arms over the hairs and soaks in.

It makes me hungry, often an excuse to eat something while watching it soak into my skin.

Then you run your tongue up and down lapping up that sweet copper flavoured delight with primal satisfaction