Pure
Specialist
- Jun 29, 2021
- 366
I've been lying in bed for about a week now losing my goddamn mind. My mother said something very upsetting to me last week and I couldn't brush it off and it ended up being the icing of the shit cake in terms of all the shitastic things my family has done to me :')
I can't even begin to describe my mental health over the years lol but I thought I had more or less recovered but nahhh. It just dawned on me (again) how awful I am and ugly and terrible to be around. It's no wonder nobody wants to be near me.
I keep having palpitations that my parents are just gonna come into my room to scream at me for being stuck in my bed (like they used to when I lived with them) but I have to remind myself that I live in my own apartment.
I have SN chilling in my shopping cart wondering if I should just hit buy. But I feel like I have too many academic burdens but idk I think I overestimate my role in people's lives.
Anyways I'm just trying to will my heart to stop lmao pretending that I'm actually dying when I fall asleep.
I can't even begin to describe my mental health over the years lol but I thought I had more or less recovered but nahhh. It just dawned on me (again) how awful I am and ugly and terrible to be around. It's no wonder nobody wants to be near me.
I keep having palpitations that my parents are just gonna come into my room to scream at me for being stuck in my bed (like they used to when I lived with them) but I have to remind myself that I live in my own apartment.
I have SN chilling in my shopping cart wondering if I should just hit buy. But I feel like I have too many academic burdens but idk I think I overestimate my role in people's lives.
Anyways I'm just trying to will my heart to stop lmao pretending that I'm actually dying when I fall asleep.