Trying to see if I can commit

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I figure I'll go for a walk today. Don't tell anyone where the fuck I am going. I am gong to go to train station, one I thought of ending my life at and see if am ready. No suicide notes, no preparation. I want to see if I can do it. I am gonna test myself. if this is the last post I make, then you will know what I did

Au revoir

 

[SuicideDJ]

Be prepared for SI.
The adrenaline will be flowing

 

[ZardozOmega]

Good luck, dude. Are you going to try hanging?

 

[Joey]

Wish I would've done something :(

 

[Deleted member 19276]

I wish, I seriously wish we could have helped more though.

 

[bigdog]

I have tried a bit of SN now while waiting for benzos and I must admit it works. It makes you dizzy and shortness of breathing I am pretty confident it will work with proper dose
I wish I would have N

 

[braketimez]

I have tried a bit of SN now while waiting for benzos and I must admit it works. It makes you dizzy and shortness of breathing I am pretty confident it will work with proper dose

I promise you, there's absolutely no way to tell if SN will work based on a sample.

 

[Moonbounce]

I have tried a bit of SN now while waiting for benzos and I must admit it works. It makes you dizzy and shortness of breathing I am pretty confident it will work with proper dose

If you actually did do this I pray for you. You're never intended to test sample SN. You can cause serious long term damage to your organs by even taking as much as you may have. Unless of course your intention is to follow through with a full dose later which \o.o/ idk

 

[braketimez]

If you actually did do this I pray for you. You're never intended to test sample SN. You can cause serious long term damage to your organs by even taking as much as you may have. Unless of course your intention is to follow through with a full dose later which \o.o/ idk

This is not true. You can't do long term damage to your organs with SN. It's just not a good idea to sample it, because it can unexpectedly kill you before you plan for it, or make you very sick to the point you have to call for help and reveal your plans.

 

[Torbasco]

I hope things can turn up better for you. I know you've been suffering a lot, and you deserve some sort of peace.

 

[BPD Barbie]

If you actually did do this I pray for you. You're never intended to test sample SN. You can cause serious long term damage to your organs by even taking as much as you may have. Unless of course your intention is to follow through with a full dose later which \o.o/ idk

Thats one of the beautiful things about SN is if you're found and saved there isn't much risk of any long term damage being done. Another reason why it's so popular.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Update:

I dont think I can do it. My brothers talking me out of it again

 

[Joey]

Update:

I dont think I can do it. My brothers talking me out of it again

Give yourself at least till the end of the year :(

 

[Moonbounce]

I dont think I can do it. My brothers talking me out of it again

No one is pressuring you into doing it now either hun. It's a big decision. We're all here no matter the choice.

 

[braketimez]

Update:

I dont think I can do it. My brothers talking me out of it again

I'm starting to learn that if I say any word to anybody about how I'm feeling, I end up second-guessing my choice.
The longer I've purposely kept my true feelings to myself, the more my desire to carry it out has festered.

Holding it in makes me see life as it really is, without the influence of anybody else's ideas to distract me.

Regardless, it's okay if this isn't your time right now. I'm sorry you're in so much pain.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Update:

I dont think I can do it. My brothers talking me out of it again

If you don't wand to do it, then you shouldn't. I believe that clarity and confidence in your decision are of utmost importance if you're going to take that step. That being said, loved ones and others who care about you have an important role to play, but the decision is not theirs. Your brother is talking you out of it because he loves you and wants you to stay. He cannot put himself fully in your shoes. His role in your life may very well play an important role in your decision, but it is still YOUR decision. Don't forget that.

 

[falloutcarter13]

I promise you, there's absolutely no way to tell if SN will work based on a sample.

If the SN is pure enough, and you take/hold down enough of it, its fatal. I don't know why people sample SN, I guess everybody has different reasons...maybe they can't test it scientifically and are trying to test it to see if its the right stuff the only way they can. Maybe they feel like experiencing some of the symptoms in some mild way will help them prepare for the actual attempt. Maybe its just an irresistible siren song...suicide is deeply rooted in compulsive thoughts, and so is "small cutting" type deals. Maybe they just want to punish themselves a little more before they're ready to actually go through with it. Who knows why sampling SN is so common...even though I know logically that there's no real benefit to doing it, its hard for me to resist myself and I don't even understand my own reasons.

 

[GreenTree]

I had same plan but to hang myself and spent all day in the woods. Was waiting till dark and then some people showed up. I dont think I got the bottle. Its so hard as convinced it's the right thing to do. How does God allow us to get in this situation. Hope your ok deathisthewayout99. I feel your pain and hope you can get better.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Seems that you survived this experience. Kinda glad to have you around still but sorry you went through all this stress.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

How does God allow us to get in this situation

Either there is no God, or there is but it is either not all powerful, or it does not concern itself with suffering on earth (because either amoral or possibly immoral).

 

[bigdog]

I was dizzy all day today but no pain
There is no God definitely