Venting Trying to find a reason to live

[Gloomislost]

I keep trying to find a reason to live. I know there's many and sometimes I do find something, but then I end up at square one. I end up having my suicidal thoughts back and I keep repeating this cycle of wanting to live then die.
Like graduating, moving out, starting a buisness. Those all make me want to keep going but it's so much fucking work. I don't want to do any of it in the end because I don't care all that much.
I don't really know how to explain it, just shitty mood swings.

 

[strawberry_lemons]

feelings are mess of tangled colored webs that feel impossible to sort. what you feel is okay and it happens, people are a weird thing. im here of you ever need anything <3

 

[Gloomislost]

feelings are mess of tangled colored webs that feel impossible to sort. what you feel is okay and it happens, people are a weird thing. im here of you ever need anything <3

Thank you <3 I'm gonna try to really think about my thoughts and see if I actually want to continue with life or just stop.

 

[OrphicEnd]

It always seems insurmountable when you're not right in it. Like climbing the top of a mountain, you prefer to give up in advance but when you get to the middle, you don't find it so hard, and in the end, you are proud of what you have done. Even when it was not a success. Because we have done something hard even if a bitter taste remains. We keep this taste in our mouth to better take revenge on the second mountain. After all, if it were too easy, it would be boring.
Best wishes.

 

[Minsu]

I actually can't find a single reason to live.. everything seems meaningless for me. Why to have kids? They also die.. Etc. Vicious circle

 

[jar-baby]

Those all make me want to keep going but it's so much fucking work. I don't want to do any of it in the end because I don't care all that much.

I feel exactly the same way about the things I wanna do

 

[theboy]

me 2

 

[Gloomislost]

It always seems insurmountable when you're not right in it. Like climbing the top of a mountain, you prefer to give up in advance but when you get to the middle, you don't find it so hard, and in the end, you are proud of what you have done. Even when it was not a success. Because we have done something hard even if a bitter taste remains. We keep this taste in our mouth to better take revenge on the second mountain. After all, if it were too easy, it would be boring.
Best wishes.

That's how life kinda feels. It feels boring to me, so everything I do to try and fix it just leaves me bored again.

I feel exactly the same way about the things I wanna do

We're in this together

 

[SVEN]

Maybe pop over to the Recovery section, where you can chat with others in a similar position to yourself. Some of whom have found reason(s) to keep going.