Venting trying to enjoy life as an ugly (and nd) person is pointless

[ladyofsorrows]

literally what is there to enjoy? i spend every day rotting in bed while other people my age are out there having fun. it's like i live in a different reality..like that quote from carnival of souls: "i don't belong in the world, that's what it is. something seperates me from other people. everywhere i turn, there's something blocking my escape."
that's exactly how i feel.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm sorry for your suffering

 

[Macc_Lad_71]

you're not ugly!

 

[pebpebpebpeb]

i'm in the same situation. comparing myself to other people all the time. it's a cycle of spiraling self hatred that i cannot become like everyone else.

everyone moves at different paces in life. everyone has different circumstances and backgrounds. to compare yourself to others is meaningless and only perpetuates that cycle of hatred. comparison truly is the theif of joy.

take life at your own speed. wishing the best for you. :)

 

[pole]

feeling ugly all the time, the self-hatred and disgust for your body and yourself on the inside.

it's suffocating because it feels like you cannot escape this feeling other than by running from yourself.

and the only way to get away from myself is by CTB. that is the only time I believe I'll have peace and it's because I'll be gone from this thing (me) that I have always hated.

 

[Ernest1964]

I don't think I'm ugly. Don't get me wrong, I'm short, chubby, and bald but I have nice eyes, a good sense of humor, I'm fairly intelligent and I think that I have a good heart. I am a high school teacher and I envy some of my students, one in particular and I think, "I would love to change places with you. I wonder what it's like to be YOU. What will your future be like?"
He is tall, 5'11 at 16 years old. Black curley hair, piercing blue eyes, really really fit, he likes showing off his six pack. He is athletic (plays Baseball and Soccer.) Those eyes... that smile... I work at a private school and the boy's family is extremely wealthy. They go skiing in Switzerland in the winter. They rent a yacht on the Mediterranean in the summer and spend time off the coast of France and Spain. I think, how is it possible that GOD has seen fit to give this boy so many blessings and me? Not so much. My youth was no where near comparable to this young man's youth and I envy him terribly.
Is it wrong for me to have these moments of envy or does it make sense for an older man pushing 60 with all of his greatest potential behind him. I WOULD trade places with this boy if I could.

 

[Hollowman]

It's not wrong to envy him but it's pretty creepy the way you describe him.

 

[cozse<3]

Being ugly (especially if it's unfixable) is a guaranteed miserable life imo

 

[WhatPowerIs]

i'm in the same situation. comparing myself to other people all the time. it's a cycle of spiraling self hatred that i cannot become like everyone else.

everyone moves at different paces in life. everyone has different circumstances and backgrounds. to compare yourself to others is meaningless and only perpetuates that cycle of hatred. comparison truly is the theif of joy.

take life at your own speed. wishing the best for you. :)

What are you supposed to do when the people in your life keep telling you to hurry up and keep comparing you to other people? And no I cannot cut these people off because they're my family and I am dependent on them.

 

[pebpebpebpeb]

What are you supposed to do when the people in your life keep telling you to hurry up and keep comparing you to other people? And no I cannot cut these people off because they're my family and I am dependent on them.

i do not have the answers for everything. sadly, it looks like you'll have to bear through it. as long as you're trying your best, there is not much else you can do. if it were me, i'd use their criticism to motivate myself to proving them wrong.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

i do not have the answers for everything. sadly, it looks like you'll have to bear through it. as long as you're trying your best, there is not much else you can do. if it were me, i'd use their criticism to motivate myself to proving them wrong.

I dont have your mental fortitude... its why i want to exit this life. thank you for trying to help. i do agree with your advice partially but when those voices in your head are real people trying to bring you down then its impossible.

 

[Ernest1964]

It's not wrong to envy him but it's pretty creepy the way you describe him.

It seems "creepy" is seen by those who are judgmental. No creepiness is intended, if YOU judge it to be creepy, that is your judgement and one based on your own issues. You don't know me. I respect this young man and always wish only the best for his life. He is going to have an amazing life ahead of him.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I'm pretty old and it was already difficult when I was younger. No internet back then. I can't imagine how hard it is now. Sitting next to a fellow student in class knowing he or she makes boatloads of money on social media for "influencing" products and living a good life. An opportunity granted solely due to being physicaly attractive. Makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it, and I've never even had to experience it.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I don't think I'm ugly. Don't get me wrong, I'm short, chubby, and bald but I have nice eyes, a good sense of humor, I'm fairly intelligent and I think that I have a good heart. I am a high school teacher and I envy some of my students, one in particular and I think, "I would love to change places with you. I wonder what it's like to be YOU. What will your future be like?"
He is tall, 5'11 at 16 years old. Black curley hair, piercing blue eyes, really really fit, he likes showing off his six pack. He is athletic (plays Baseball and Soccer.) Those eyes... that smile... I work at a private school and the boy's family is extremely wealthy. They go skiing in Switzerland in the winter. They rent a yacht on the Mediterranean in the summer and spend time off the coast of France and Spain. I think, how is it possible that GOD has seen fit to give this boy so many blessings and me? Not so much. My youth was no where near comparable to this young man's youth and I envy him terribly.
Is it wrong for me to have these moments of envy or does it make sense for an older man pushing 60 with all of his greatest potential behind him. I WOULD trade places with this boy if I could.

What you have said makes sense to me. When I was in high school I thought the same things of a lot of my peers. God has granted them perfect genetics: wonderful athletic abilities, stunning beauty, charisma, I was granted none of those things and nobody wonders what it would be like to be me because I have nothing special going for me. Not only do I not have any talents or skills, I don't even have a physical beauty to make up for the lack of those traits. God has put me on this world to be useless and a burden to others. This is why I think my death is justifiable.

 

[ladyofsorrows]

I don't think I'm ugly. Don't get me wrong, I'm short, chubby, and bald but I have nice eyes, a good sense of humor, I'm fairly intelligent and I think that I have a good heart. I am a high school teacher and I envy some of my students, one in particular and I think, "I would love to change places with you. I wonder what it's like to be YOU. What will your future be like?"
He is tall, 5'11 at 16 years old. Black curley hair, piercing blue eyes, really really fit, he likes showing off his six pack. He is athletic (plays Baseball and Soccer.) Those eyes... that smile... I work at a private school and the boy's family is extremely wealthy. They go skiing in Switzerland in the winter. They rent a yacht on the Mediterranean in the summer and spend time off the coast of France and Spain. I think, how is it possible that GOD has seen fit to give this boy so many blessings and me? Not so much. My youth was no where near comparable to this young man's youth and I envy him terribly.
Is it wrong for me to have these moments of envy or does it make sense for an older man pushing 60 with all of his greatest potential behind him. I WOULD trade places with this boy if I could.

i completely understand. i have these thoughts often about other girls. esp those pretty, blonde, blue-eyed ones. i can't even imagine how amazing their lives must be.

 

[thegoldengirls]

i completely understand. i have these thoughts often about other girls. esp those pretty, blonde, blue-eyed ones. i can't even imagine how amazing their lives must be.

It's amazing how the beauty standards are different in different cultures down to personal preference. I think they're are just as many dark haired, brown eyed, and darker skinned beautiful people. I'm sure we are are our own worst critics.
And besides, you just never know what someone is going through ...no matter how beautiful they are.

 

[Fr33fallin24]

I'm so sorry for your pain. I have no wonderful words of wisdom but just wanted you to know you are not alone.